The 91-Year-Old Woman Selling Suicide Kits

[Banjo]

If people want to commit suicide, they will find one way or another to do so.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I have read this and re-read this and I don't know what to think or feel.

I am an advocate of death with dignity. I support hospice care and such, but this article really disturbs me. For one thing, it took place in New York where state law forbids assisted suicide. That would make what she's doing a crime.

Second, I agree with nearly everyone here. Suicide is tragic. I've personally been touched by it. A dear friend of mine ended his life nearly 20 yrs ago. He was depressed, off meds, and he ended his life. Jillio is right on the money when she says that a person intent on sucide WILL find a way to carry out their intent unless someone is able to intervene and stop it. My friend made a failed attempt a year prior to his death. At that time, he was placed in a mental facility, diagnosed with depression, placed on meds, and, was kept inpatient for a month. Once discharged, he attended group and was stable on his meds. However, things went sideways once the meds kicked in and he was functional again. He thought he was cured and went off the meds and....died.

I can also attest to seeing a terminally ill person become depressed and suicidal. It happened to us just a few months ago with my Dad. It's one reason I left the forum for awhile. Things were very distressing. Thankfully, Dad is stable for now and doing better, but it was I who intervened and got him help! In effect, I saved his life. I don't want to get into my whole family dynamic, but lets just say that things are less than ideal, so it was on me to make sure he was safe. We're still facing his terminal illnesses. He's life is still limited but he's ALIVE and stable. I'm grateful for that.

I relate this to you all to say that I believe there is a vast difference between a person being allowed to die in the end stage of an illness AND someone who is mentally ill and sucidal. The latter needs to be prevented at ALL cost.

But, back to this woman... I think there needs to be an investigation into this woman to see whether or not she's breaking any laws and if she is, she needs to be stopped. Helping a mentally ill patient to end their life is wrong. What these poor people need is help; not death.

One more thing, I've also been touched by mental illness as well. I've dealt with life long depression, anxiety, and a personality disorder that has made me do things I wouldn't normally do. I'm stable now and doing well, but there was a time when I considered suicide. I've also acted on my pain and inner turmoil in other ways. I shudder to think what would have happened if I met someone like this lady. I may not be here now.

We need to think about these things when we craft laws that allow for assisted suicide. There will always be someone out there mentally unstable, and, I wouldn't want them having such easy access to ways to end their lives.

 

[ladysolitary85]

When I was a young child, I had suicidal thoughts and have made attempts because I was in a abusive home and felt like I had no where to run.

When I was a teenager, my depression got worse over different things happening to me in life, and again, suicide came to mind.

Then I heard the song Good Charlotte "Hold On" and I swear to this day it saved my life.

Music is my therapy.

 

[jillio]

I remember my mother told me about a patient that she had years ago while she was working as a nurse. She said that the woman had such a severe nervous breakdown that she was unable to walk for a few days. She remembers being quite angry with the woman because others in the same situation would get false hope and think they could walk again.

Conversion Disorder. More common that you would imagine.

 

[jillio]

That's pretty sickening, people that sells those kits should be arrested and put in prison.

Most of the people dead don't have any kind of terminal illness (doesn't mean suicide is an answer for the terminally ill either), yet alot of them is due to depression which can be dealt with if they just talked to people or get medical help. They would have led an eventual long & (hopefully) happy life.

Suicide is never an answer, it brings even more pain to those that loves them. Suicide is the most selfish act there is. It shows absolutely no regard to those around them. Suicide has a domino effect, it brings about sadness and depression to others effected by it and chances are, they too may try to kill themselves.

Yiz

Your opinion of, and conclusions regarding, suicide are very mistaken.

 

[Aleser]

That's pretty sickening, people that sells those kits should be arrested and put in prison.

Most of the people dead don't have any kind of terminal illness (doesn't mean suicide is an answer for the terminally ill either), yet alot of them is due to depression which can be dealt with if they just talked to people or get medical help. They would have led an eventual long & (hopefully) happy life.

Suicide is never an answer, it brings even more pain to those that loves them. Suicide is the most selfish act there is. It shows absolutely no regard to those around them. Suicide has a domino effect, it brings about sadness and depression to others effected by it and chances are, they too may try to kill themselves.

Yiz

The thing is, terminal illnesses have an end in sight: it isn't often a nice one, but there IS an end point six months or six years down the line. And, unless you've looked a life-threatening illness in the eye you are in absolutely no place to judge if "suicide is an answer" for people living with a terminal illness: I don't think you can possibly understand how horrific the other answers can be unless you've been there.

For people living with a chronic illness, including chronic mental illnesses, there is often absolutely NO end in sight. Things that hurt will hurt forever, things that scare you will scare you forever.

Depression is NOT always (or perhaps even often) curable, and is not always even modestly treatable, and you are trivializing what can be a severe and crushing illness into something that can be cured if you "just talk about it"- many depressed people spend years talking about it, and suffering dozens of side effects from medication, and NEVER get better and will NEVER get better.

Can psychology and psychiatry help many people? Yes!

Can many mental illnesses be cured? No.

The level of function you attain when existing between those two facts, the amount of family support you have, and how willing you are to suffer all play a role if life continues to seem worth living anymore.

It isn't as simple as "life is worth living ALWAYS!"- what makes life feel worth living is created by everything from the way your brain is wired to the community around you to how sick your body is.

Also, I'm kind of amused with the "suicide is selfish" comment.

While I am a firm believer that all acts must be selfish in order to be good, and that selfless acts must always be wrong (or simply do not exist) I do want you to consider a few things:

Why should any end-of-life decision, natural or created, be anything but selfish? When one is determining how they wish the end of their life to be, who is the most important person to consider? How can anyone matter more than your own self?

If someone makes an end of life decision for the sake of their family or friends, isn't that selfish too? If I decide to be placed in a nursing home instead of making my family care for me at home, am I not experiencing the selfish pleasure of knowing that people I love will have to suffer less?

What could you possibly define as a "selfless" end of life act? What act at the end of life can possibly not serve your needs, or simply make you happy in knowing it is the right or best thing to do?

This is an issue I've done a lot of thinking on lately. I've lost a few friends to suicide in the past few years, and while in the past I might have agreed that suicide is usually a bad solution, and always harder on the family and friends, I am coming to realize 2 things:

1: having someone die can bring you ALL closure in a chronic illness, even a chronic mental illness. It can make you happy even when you're crushed because you don't have to see that person in a pain they'll likely never be out of anymore.

2: IT ISNT ABOUT YOU. It is about that person's right to determine the course of their lives, and even their right to determine when their lives are no longer worth living.

Should stronger services be in place so that people feel less compelled to commit suicide? Yes! Should better access to therapy and medication exist? Yes! Should more safe spaces and schools exist for teens suffering from bullying, abuse, and homophobia exist? Yes! Should more burden-sharing services exist so that people with a chronic or terminal illness don't commit suicide because they don't want their family to suffer caring for them? Yes!

Is suicide wrong? A much more complicated question to answer.