It can be a struggle to follow conversations with hearing loss. It is even harder if the speaker is running their mouth without pausing to make sure the other person is even interested in the topic. I am not surprised he got angry when you quizzed him.
Concise, meaningful conversations are a lot easier to follow. As are speakers who are considerate of who they are talking to.
I do pause, and he generally will see that as the sign in the conversation to say, "Okay." I can generally tell that he's not listening, though I can't always tell. A lot of the conversations we have are about managing the house and kids: not exactly meaningful but it generally affects him and we both get frustrated when I've talked to him, gotten what I thought was agreement, and then later I find out he had no idea what I said and actually doesn't approve. I definitely struggle with being concise. I tend to repeat things to repeat things because I don't really believe he listens and I want him to know what's going on and he doesn't look at our calendars, planners, etc... I don't really know how to be more concise or engaging.
Are your children old enough to learn ASL with you , maybe if you started learning ASL first your husband might take an interest in it too.
I have a baby, a preschooler, and a school-aged kid. We did some Signing Time videos when the older kids were toddlers, and they used a few ASL signs then, but they pretty much stopped using it as soon as they could talk well in English. I'd love advice on how to learn ASL as a family beyond teaching the kids how to sign simple words like, "Ball."
One thing that we do is make sure we have each others attention before we start talking. Don't just walk in a room and start talking to me. Or talk to me from another room. Also helps if I know what the topic is that we are going to talk about. Save a lot of "what's".
I do try to do this. Yesterday, I walked into the room and asked if I could talk to him. He said, "Yes," but then went back to looking at his computer screen. I talk for a while and then ask if he's listening. He says, "Okay," which is his default answer, and we get into it.
But in the case of your partner, it seems he's given up. Find out why. Is his hearing aids not strong enough? Maybe he needs stronger more powerful hearing aids. Or has his hearing gotten worst? Either he starts learning ASL or possibly look into getting CI.
Again this is just my opinion, and that's coming from someone with the same hearing issues as your partner.
He has nerve damage, so a CI is not an option for him. I know he would definitely benefit from better hearing aids. He is supposed to wear both, but he generally only wears one. He says it's too hard to hear with the other one in despite repeated adjustments. I don't really know how to help him get the hearing aids he needs. According to him, there's nothing that can really be done.
I think it would be common behavior to any adult if you demanded they tell you what you just said, and thinking it had something to do if they were really listening.
He's deaf? How much listening do you think he can do?
Meaningless chatter ?
That's the world if one is deaf enough. Find an alternative way to communicate that is easy for him.
I came to the board to find an alternative way to communicate with him, and I understand why he's angry when I quiz him. I just don't know how to tell if he's really agreed to do something or let me do something or if he's just saying, "Okay," because that's what he says when he's not listening. We have fights constantly about how I thought he agreed to something, it's on the calendar, to-do list, meal plan, etc... and I've mentioned it conversation five times and then it surprises him and he didn't want me to do this despite that he told me, "Sure," every time I mentioned it.
