Sticky problem.....

M

Mistyrose

Guest
I guess this is the right forum.......about kids..
Well I dont know if this is a problem or not and it may be none of my business but im concerned....there is a single mother with 4 kids down the road from us..she works full time and now school is out and i noticed that she leaves the kids home alone all day instead taking them to daycare like she used to in the past during the summer. The kids ages all are under 12 years old and i think the youngest is 6 or 7 years old! Do you think they are too young to be left alone all day? I noticed they never go out to play or nothing all day!
I think the mother tells them to stay inside cuz she is afraid someone will call the Children's Services on her for leaving them alone all day..My husband said one day he saw the UPS man drove up their house and he knocked and knocked on the door but they refused to come to the door but he knows they are home as he probably seen one of them peeked out of the windows..geez! so he just left the package on the porch! Should we do something? or just leave them alone???
 
If Iwere you, I will go talk to the mother first to get her story. Chances are that she cannot afford summer daycare for her kids. Perhaps help her out with finding low cost babysitters or volunteers, etc.

There should be local programs that help watch children of low income families.

I am a single mom of 2 and I cannot afford full time care for my girls so I can relate to that mother. Fortunately a friend is helping me out with watching my girls at a reduced rate so I wouldnt have to leave them at home as they are only 9 and 8.
 
Meg said:
If Iwere you, I will go talk to the mother first to get her story. Chances are that she cannot afford summer daycare for her kids. Perhaps help her out with finding low cost babysitters or volunteers, etc.

There should be local programs that help watch children of low income families.

I am a single mom of 2 and I cannot afford full time care for my girls so I can relate to that mother. Fortunately a friend is helping me out with watching my girls at a reduced rate so I wouldnt have to leave them at home as they are only 9 and 8.
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Im sure she has financial problems cuz one year, some people had to leave a basket of food with us from the Salvation Army for them as they were not home so i know they had help and she had help from the Government as well with her housing as well so im sure she knows about local programs and all so i dont understand why she didnt take advantage of those to take her kids and beside there are day camps available here in our town so there is no excuse for that.
Im afraid to talk to the mother as she might get angry with me for interfering into her business. Im just going to keep an eye on those kids just to make sure they are ok..thats all im going to do but if something happens, i will call the Sheriff.
 
Hi Defee,

It's very nice of you to show your concern for your neighbour and her children. Like Meg said, it's best to get to know your neighbour more before making assumptions because maybe your neighbour is really in a bind and she has her pride & does not want to ask people for help to watch her children. Maybe it would be nice if you offered to help watch her children for a night or two if she wanted to go out with her friends. The fact that you showed concern for your neighbour is incredibly considerate and she would be quite pleased to know others do care for her. It's quite the neighbourly thing to do and people should do that more often for their communities.
 
if I was you, I would walk to talk to the mother that you are concerning about the kids' safety. If you are concern, why not you can volunteer to watch them while their mom go to work or something. It looks like she is unable to pay for babysitters or daycare and maybe the governments are not paying her enough to take them to daycare or pay the babysitter, all the money pay for foods and clothing they need.
 
CrazyRedHeadWV said:
if I was you, I would walk to talk to the mother that you are concerning about the kids' safety. If you are concern, why not you can volunteer to watch them while their mom go to work or something. It looks like she is unable to pay for babysitters or daycare and maybe the governments are not paying her enough to take them to daycare or pay the babysitter, all the money pay for foods and clothing they need.
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I would volunteer to watch but I cant due to my medical problem with my
hands and i go to therapy and now my husband is having problems with his
feet and he will be needing surgery for his feet soon so that is going to take up my time so i have problems of my own. I do check on them time to time to
make sure the kids are doing ok and if i see something that dont look right, i will call the Sheriff. I would hate to do that cuz their house and yard is just
so terrible..I mean inside their house is so nasty and their yard has grass about 5 feet tall, some people have offered to brush hog her yard one time, she got mad and said no! so she really dont want help from no body..she is very strange anyways. I just pray that the oldest boy is mature enough to take care of the younger ones and keep everthing safe and all!
 
I know a lot of kids who can take care of themselves when they are 12 years old. My parents left me home alone with my younger brothers and sisters before. I was 12. My brother was 8. My sisters were 6. It wasn't really a problem. :)
 
At first I thought Meg's and Monster Cookies's suggestion are good until I read your further posts and realized that their suggestion would not work due her pride. I can see the problem that she refused to get the help.

First of all I want to know about her 4 children's characters.

What's the kind of behavior, her 4 children have? mature, immature or what? I would inform child welfare department if I notice that they have problematic behavior instead of call Sheriff. I'm only doing to protect the children's welfare because the mother refused to get the help. It's safety than worst later.

It depends on different children's characters whom the parents can trust to leave them for all the day.

I leave my sons alone for few hours for go to shopping or Deaf Club sometimes because I trust my eldest son's mature.
My mother left me watch my siblings alot when I was 10 years old with no problem.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
At first I thought Meg's and Monster Cookies's suggestion are good until I read your further posts and realized that their suggestion would not work due her pride. I can see the problem that she refused to get the help.

First of all I want to know about her 4 children's characters.

What's the kind of behavior, her 4 children have? mature, immature or what? I would inform child welfare department if I notice that they have problematic behavior instead of call Sheriff. I'm only doing to protect the children's welfare because the mother refused to get the help. It's safety than worst later.

It depends on different children's characters whom the parents can trust to leave them for all the day.

I leave my sons alone for few hours for go to shopping or Deaf Club sometimes because I trust my eldest son's mature.
My mother left me watch my siblings alot when I was 10 years old with no problem.
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You are right, Liebling...it is due to the oldest child's maturity...If you trust your oldest child's maturity, then that is good...its possible that this mother trusts her oldest son's maturity to watch his younger siblings..that is what im hoping for, that he is mature enough to take care of them..so far it looks like they are doing ok..im still watching to make sure everything is going ok. I dont want the mother to lose her kids at all..i would never, ever do that to her at all but if i ever realize that the kids are in danger, i will do everything in my power to PROTECT those kids! i hope you understand that. Im sure the oldest boy is doing very good job to protect the younger kids, if he is, then God bless his heart!!
 
Defee said:
You are right, Liebling...it is due to the oldest child's maturity...If you trust your oldest child's maturity, then that is good...its possible that this mother trusts her oldest son's maturity to watch his younger siblings..that is what im hoping for, that he is mature enough to take care of them..so far it looks like they are doing ok..im still watching to make sure everything is going ok. I dont want the mother to lose her kids at all..i would never, ever do that to her at all but if i ever realize that the kids are in danger, i will do everything in my power to PROTECT those kids! i hope you understand that. Im sure the oldest boy is doing very good job to protect the younger kids, if he is, then God bless his heart!!
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As what you say that your neighbor's is mature enough to watch his siblings is great. I see no problem when he take care of his siblings well. It look like that mother trust her son's maturity enough. :thumb:

Yes, I understand that a mother is fear to lose her kids to child's welfare department but it would be different story if the children are not mature enough to take care of their siblings or problematic behavior etc.

It's also good that you make sure that the kids are well care.
 
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