Question for Parents

AJ

AJ

New Member
Joined
May 24, 2003
Messages
3,311
Reaction score
0
well for anyone really.

i have this friend, she is 26. She has 3 children. and they are 5, 4, and 3. she is a single mother. she had a party last night at her house from 2 am to 6:30 am.

im not a parent, but i know that if i had kids, i wouldn't be having parties like that, especially at my house with my children sleeping in the next room.

i confronted her about it, and she was like, "i just had a few friends over and we had some beers, the kids were asleep." and that was it she left to go get ready for school.

what do u guys think? she's not a bad mother really. she loves her kids and takes great care of them. she just does stupid stuff sometimes. like this.
 
What happens if she end up getting drunk and passed out? then the friends whom she invited over decide to go up in the children's room and sexually abuse them?....What would she say then?

The point is, anything could happen without her knowing it...She put the children in a harm way by having a party that involved alcohol , if she want to have a little party , she could have just drop the children to a family or friends house instead of that way nothing happens under her care....

I'm not saying she is unfit or a bad mother, but she need to be careful when she has a party that involved alcohol, that doesn't look quite good on her part...
 
I think it really depends on the situation. If she isnt getting excessively intoxicated and is able to control the situation....if the party-goers are not loud and out-of-control, then I think it is okay for her to have friends over as long as it is not disturbing the children.

I don't personally have parties, ocassionally we have a few friends over for dinner, but I would end up falling asleep in the corner before midnight. However, my BIL and SIL have a new year's eve party which is family friendly. They let all their friends and family bring their kids and the kids go to one part of the house away from the adults, and have a babysitter there to watch them while the adults drink (not excessively) and mingle in the other part of the house. If anyone has too much to drink, they are not allowed to drive home (endangering the children). Their parties have never gotten out of hand, and I feel it is a reasonable and responsible way for the adults to interact without endangering the wellfare of the children.
 
I agree with the PP. It depends on the situation.

We don't have parties or anything usually. This halloween we're going to have an anniversary/hallowen party. Not everyone will be drinking so I'll be watching my daughter and playing with the other kids.
 
HONESTLY.....some folks are just so.....she sounds like she hasn't totally grown up yet!
 
i confronted her about it, and she was like, "i just had a few friends over and we had some beers, the kids were asleep." and that was it she left to go get ready for school.
Click to expand...

As what she say is okay.

It´s okay as long as she limit her party and have few friends to drink with her... It would be bad if theré´re loud party with full of people alocholc, drugs, etc.
 
It really has nothing to do with having a party or inviting friends over for dinner etc, which I don't have a problem with that but the problem in this whole story is she had a party at 2 in the morning until 6, she wouldn't be able to have enough sleep before the children wakes up in the morning, second, when you have a party this late, with alcohol being involved, that doesn't look too good..

And I agree with Deafdyke, she isn't fully grown yet, still has alot to learn...
 
Yeah, I saw it... I find strange to celebrate from 2 am .. :dunno:

It´s impossible to do like this... but as what AJ mentioned that he confronted her on the same time as she left for put her children to school sound that there´re no neglection... Perhaps she´s good night owl... :giggle: Perhaps she went back to have her sleep after put her children to school... :dunno:
 
Yeah, I see your point Liebling, since nothing did happen, I guess it's okay as long the children seem to be in good care....
 
My sister in law has a firm philosophy in this area; when she has a party at her house that involves alcohol - her kids are NEVER in the same house. Family are always glad to have them overnight, including us :)

A drunk parent wouldn't be able to help a child in trouble.
 
like i said, she is a great mom. i mean when she broke up with her bf, the childrens father, somehow the cops found out that he was seriously into drugs and stuff. they arrested him, and also took the children away from their mom because the cops had to make sure that she wasn't involved with drugs either. the kids were away from her for like 5 months.

she is going to college, and just moved into a trailer she bought herself. trust me, a trailor is a hell of a lot better than where she was. she use to live in a 2 bedroom apartment, the people downstairs did drugs. the cops were always around because of downstairs.

now she lives in a better place, with a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom trailer. but her kids still all sleep in the same room because they are comfortable that way.

maybe i over reacted. its not like she parties all the time. i just know that if i had children i wouldn't be gettin drunk from 2 am to 6 am. but i guess she is able to do it.
 
AJ said:
maybe i over reacted. its not like she parties all the time. i just know that if i had children i wouldn't be gettin drunk from 2 am to 6 am. but i guess she is able to do it.
Click to expand...

Yes, I can understand your view. As what you say that she didnt have party all the time...

I see no harm to have party once for the change instead of parties all the time. I see nothing wrong as long as she is a good mother and take care of her children well which it´s mainly important.
 
Aw AJ :hug:

I can truly understand where you're coming from, but you didn't over-reacted the situation, you just simply told her how you felt and hoping she would make the right choice next time.....You're just being a guy who cares and there's nothing wrong with that!...

I would love to have friends like that, who actually cares...
 
i havent party either in my home and out of my home I am always stuck with my 2 beloved little girls I used to have party drinking and hanging out with friends before having first daughter, ofc, sometimes thanksgivings, xmas eve, halloween and e.t.c. in home or visit one of relatives or somewhere else church or school where older daughter is going were invited.
But, probably, its up to mother/father we cant judge others ;)
 
If i want to NOT grow up... I would make sure my kids are sleeping over one of my relative so I could get blast drunk.... which that RARELY happen which I should be thankful for that.. Kids were glad that they sleep at grandma when we have party or so but sometime we allow them here depend on whos drinking etc... my oldest doesnt like see people drinking a lot but she knows that adult do control on their own...

I forgot to add that.. 2 am till 6 am.. that's totally uncomfortable for me to have party.. if i plan that I totally make sure that kids are NOT HOME....


Wendy
 
IHMO, her children may grow up screw up because of her irresponsible. She is not being taught properly on how to raise children and protected them from unseen abuses. I witness this too many time and sorry to say this is not good environment.
 
Back
Top