Question about coda

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Mara

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I am writing something about the hearing daughter of a deaf couple (coda) and I wonder if someoen could share with me some ideas.

I know that most children with deaf parents learn to sign, and I have been told that some of them learn to read lips too. Is that so?

Do children with deaf parents find it difficult to make friends with other children?

Thanks to anyone who wishes to answer!
 
Mara said:
I know that most children with deaf parents learn to sign, and I have been told that some of them learn to read lips too. Is that so?

Do children with deaf parents find it difficult to make friends with other children?

Thanks to anyone who wishes to answer!
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Growing up, my hearing siblings learned how to lipread too. It does not apply only to CODAs.

Im a deaf mom of 2 hearing daughters so they are CODAs. They do sign and lip read too.

I am not sure what you mean about finding it hard to make friends with other children? Do you mean other CODAs or hearing children with no exposure to Deaf culture, etc?

I noticed that my girls get along famously with other CODAs. They have unspoken language between them and they are much more relaxed. I see them laughing and relaxed with other CODAs as they do not have to explain my disability to other children with no prior exposure to Deaf culture. They do not have to fret about me as they worry that I would feel left out if we are among hearing people who does not know ASL.
 
Thank you for your answer, Meg.

How did your daughters learn to read lips? Just naturally?

Yes, I meant hearing children with no relation to deaf culture.
 
Mara said:
Thank you for your answer, Meg.

How did your daughters learn to read lips? Just naturally?

Yes, I meant hearing children with no relation to deaf culture.
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It came naturally to them. While speaking to me, they exaggerate their mouth movements and watch my lips while I talk as my speech is not always clear. I also mouth a lot while I sign to them. It came naturally to them. They are almost 10 and 9 now.

I think it really depends on their own personalities whether they make friends easily or not. My younger is much more outgoing and friendly. She has tons of friends whereas my older one is more reserved, observant and quiet. But both of them have heightened sensitivity to people who are " different " as they are compassionate and understanding due to my own disability and my circle of friends.

But I do notice that they are MUCH more happier and relaxed with other CODAs. They know that they are part of a subculture.

Hope this helps :)
 
Most of my college friends and other friends have picked up speechreading from me. I remember last year being over my friend's apartment and they were playing the "What am I mouthing?" game with me, and Dani (yes that one) got a word I didn't get!
 
:wave: I am a CODA, both of my parent's are deaf. Both my sister and I learned to sign at a very young age. We were able to lipread, providing the person's mouth was clear. Some people hardly moved their mouths, so it was always, what what what?

I had no problems making friends, or my sister. Our friends were very interested in my parent's deafness.

As we grew up, I remained closer to the deaf community, my sister didn't, she kind of got away from it. Although she signs, she is very english, I mean very english :lol:

I married a deaf man, my signing improved in time because my parent's were SE, that is what we learned. So I had to go back to classes so I could learn ASL. My father makes me laugh because he says "that I sign better than him" :rofl:

My relationship with the deaf has grown stronger, like deaf clubs, deaf organizations, deaf Mass (which I interpret every other week), deaf senior citizens. The deaf are my second family.

Being a CODA has taught me so much, and having deaf parent's makes it very unique too.

Hoped this help somewhat :hug:
 
Mara,
I will assume you've already done this, but I would read books by CODA's.A Loss for Words by Lou Ann Walker, and if you are looking for a more scientific view on CODA's, Mother Father Deaf. There is also an organization that created the name CODA, that is an org. for ppl who are CODA's.
 
CODA video

If you want a break from your research and need a laugh, try to find the video/DVD of Tomorrow My Father Will Still Be Deaf. It talks about one CODA's experiences growing up. :)
 
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There are many cats who are not deaf living with couples who are deaf. I don't know if someone can call a cat CODA? Maybe Cat Of Deaf Adult? I've been aware of cats who are not deaf that makes friends with everyone depsite their parents' deafness. I would guess the same would be true of ferrets. I never had a ferrets so I cannot vouch for their approach.
 
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