People that "hear" just rather not deal with me

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KeithD1976

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Hi, I'm new hear and accepting the worsening of my condition. The biggest issue I have is talking over the phone, especially to call centers, customer service reps, businesses etc. I've got around a lot in the past having someone make the calls for me. Even signed over medial rights to family members to handle issues because they only talk to the insured.

What hurts the most is that I try my best to read someone's face, hands in person, and still some I can't make it out due to turned backs etc. When I finally break down tell them I'm hoh it's they'd rather ignore it and pass on me, like a non person. Sure to them ignore it and deal with what they know. It really hurts.

Maybe I can "talk" with a psychologist and it may help, but as far as I know they only deal with people that hear.

Any helpful comments are welcome. It's really hard for me to discuss this.
 
Sounds like you're "hard of hearing" and that, my friend, is a period in your life where the rules have changed and all that you know and all that you have learned has become antiquated.

You're exploring new ground. I appluad your willingness to discover new ideas and approaches to make your life easier.

My advice for you is to be aggressively adaptable toward any circumstance and to not take, personally, what is the normal reaction/behavior of those who can hear.
 
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Keith, there are resources.. but I am sorry you are going through this alone and feeling helpless. It's the worst feeling in the world.

Seems like your old friends do not understand or feel awkward about what you are going through. Maybe it's time to make new friends?! ;)

Are you taking sign language courses? As for making phone calls, you CAN use relay services and call people yourself. I use relaycall.com, it is good. You can call them through your computer. I often make relay calls through my cellphone (sidekick LX), and it is great.
 
KeithD1976 said:
Hi, I'm new hear and accepting the worsening of my condition. The biggest issue I have is talking over the phone, especially to call centers, customer service reps, businesses etc. I've got around a lot in the past having someone make the calls for me. Even signed over medial rights to family members to handle issues because they only talk to the insured.

What hurts the most is that I try my best to read someone's face, hands in person, and still some I can't make it out due to turned backs etc. When I finally break down tell them I'm hoh it's they'd rather ignore it and pass on me, like a non person. Sure to them ignore it and deal with what they know. It really hurts.

Maybe I can "talk" with a psychologist and it may help, but as far as I know they only deal with people that hear.

Any helpful comments are welcome. It's really hard for me to discuss this.
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Psychologists don't only deal with people who hear. In fact, there are psychologists and counselors who deal specifically with issues related to the adjustment to disability. With your residual hearing getting worse, you are experiencing some limitation that you haven't experienced to this degree prior. Life changes such as this can be difficult to deal with. There is no harm in talking with someone and working together to discover coping mechanisms that will effectively reduce the limitations and stress that you are experiencing.
 
I get fustrated alot when i'm using the phone and i can't understand what they say. Usually it's because other people's phone are usually quiet, their voice or something else. My friends have that little girl sweet voice and it makes me hard to hear over my cell phone. I use my cell phone alot because it's more louder for me than to use my home phone. I'm almost 15. so whenever i can't understand them I'll just ask my mom to help me. But I use my cochlear implant to use the phone. It helped alot. But still i can't understand some words that they're saying to me. It's like a puzzle to me. You have to figure out what piece fits in the puzzle. Just as trying to break down the words they're saying.
 
I have come to meet people who are in similar situations as you are going through right now. A person who is just now experiencing the stages of where there are changes in their health that affects how they adjust to the newfound disability. I have been in similar situation where my hearing loss has progressively declined immensely to the point when I became almost absolute deaf in both ears. This was very difficult for me to adjust and it took time for me to do so.

One of the biggest hurdle I had to overcome was to work with people in knowing that my disability have an an impact on communication and interpersonal relationships with others. Talking with someone may be good to provide guidance and counseling in order to guide you in understanding and making the acceptance of your hearing loss but how people around you react to your hearing loss - I think what you can do is to educate them. They may not understand or maybe they do not want to understand which can be difficult to work with. They have been with you, know what you are prior to your sudden hearing loss and now it's entirely different, I'm sure they are ignorant to understand the difference and how to work with it.

I have been there and with my commitment to understand how my sudden hearing loss will have an impact in everything I do on a daily basis and at work, it reinforces me on learning and what I can do to accommodate myself. It's a journey that will not be easy but over time, it becomes a bit easier along with your dedication to make things work....
 
Wokamuka said:
My advice for you is to be aggressively adaptable toward any circumstance and to not take, personally, what is the normal reaction/behavior of those who can hear.
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This is really good advice. I can understand what you are saying about feeling isolated and alone. I often felt that way....I still do on some days. I thank God for my children. I am sorry, I don't know what else to say.
 
NEWIDME said:
This is really good advice. I can understand what you are saying about feeling isolated and alone. I often felt that way....I still do on some days. I thank God for my children. I am sorry, I don't know what else to say.
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You didn't need to say anything more. Many of us, here, at AllDeaf are there with you.
 
Wokamuka said:
Sounds like you're "hard of hearing" and that, my friend, is a period in your life where the rules have changed and all that you know and all that you have learned has become antiquated.

You're exploring new ground. I appluad your willingness to discover new ideas and approaches to make your life easier.

My advice for you is to be aggressively adaptable toward any circumstance and to not take, personally, what is the normal reaction/behavior of those who can hear.
Click to expand...

Agrssively adaptive.....I like that! Clearly communicates that adaptation is an active process.
 
I feel for you I know It's rough at times all you can do is make the best of it one day at a time.
 
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