tekkmortal
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By DAVE ADDIS, The Virginian-Pilot
© October 31, 2004
Do you ever get tired of being used and abused?
Do you ever get completely fed up with being sucker-baited by the Great American Celebrity Machine?
Do you ever get frustrated to the point that you’d like to blackjack your way onto the set of “Good Morning America,” take over the microphone and declare your independence, once and forever, from swill and hypocrisy?
Admittedly, the older I get, the faster the crabby gene in my DNA double helix goes into overdrive. At this point in my life, my crabby gene is pumping more protein than my baldness gene, or my take-a-nap gene, or even my expando-beltline gene.
The latest: Friday, Fox News celebrity-lip Bill O’Reilly and Andrea Mackris, an on-again, off-again Fox News associate producer, very quietly and very privately settled what had been, up to that point, a very steamy and very public feud.
Mackris and her lawyer accused O’Reilly of sexual harassment involving a series of filth-laden phone calls, none of which he denied making.
O’Reilly and his lawyer accused Mackris and her lawyer of felony extortion, claiming that they were trying to shake down O’Reilly and the Fox network for $60 million. (Or $600 million. Depends on which interview you saw.)
And that’s the point: Both of these “victims” and their lawyers had for two weeks played out this cheesefest in every public venue they could command: broadcast TV, cable TV, radio, interviews in the prints. O’Reilly, outraged, demanding that he’d never submit to blackmail.
Mackris, in schoolmarm mufti, saying as much as she could say about those phone calls without getting bleeped.
But when the settlement was announced Friday, here’s what O’Reilly’s lawyer said in a prepared statement: “All cases and claims have been withdrawn, and all parties have agreed that there was no wrongdoing whatsoever by Mr. O’Reilly, Ms. Mackris, or Ms. Mackris’ counsel. ”
No wrongdoing whatsoever? What happened to these public accusations of extortion, which is a felony, and sexual harassment, which is emotional battery?
No wrongdoing whatsoever? Either somebody got blackmailed or emotionally abused, or they lied about it in court documents. If they want to settle, fine, but the explanation that there was “no wrongdoing whatsoever” is a fraud.
But never mind, folks. The message from both “victims” and their trained weasels is this: “Thank you, the viewing public, for your concerned attention to all of our interviews and allegations over these past weeks. But we don’t need you any longer, so kindly butt out.”
In a bug-tussle among normal human beings, I don’t mind if they settle quietly and privately.
Especially when the deal is as sleazy as this one. Double-especially when a woman may have been sexually abused by a powerful figure – even though she apparently never reported him to the cops or his wife or even to the Fox human resources bureau. Or even so much as hung up on him.
But we ought to update our legal code to declare that once a brace of media-savvy litigants like these have taken to the airwaves to loudly protest their innocence and their adversary’s guilt, they thereby forfeit all rights to a confidential settlement.
Just once, when presented with such a settlement, I’d love to see a judge say, “Confidential? Are you nuts? You people have been screeching your tales of woe in every public venue you could find for weeks on end. We’re not gonna suddenly bury the punch line here. Motion denied.”
No soap. What we’re left with are the legal documents filed up to Friday, which are available to computer-jockeys at www.thesmokinggun.com.
With no further explanation forthcoming, those documents seem to show that O’Reilly leads a secret life as a pervert – which is not necessarily a crime – and that while Mackris may well have been a victim, she seemed as interested in profiting from O’Reilly’s potty-mouthed calls as she was at stopping them.
The New York Daily News, relying on either good sources or good guesses, reported Saturday that O’Reilly will pay Mackris somewhere between $2 million and $10 million.
And the guy who claims to inhabit an intellectual “no-spin zone” raged in indignation Friday that “the media” was at fault for his public humiliation – apparently forgetting that he, himself, is a celebrated member of “the media” and that it sure wasn’t Tom Brokaw who was speed-dialing Andrea Mackris’ cell phone late at night, entertaining her with the sounds of his battery-powered sex toy.
Meantime, the ratings for O’Reilly’s program on Fox News reportedly have risen a whopping 30 percent since his peccadilloes went public.
I’m sure that O’Reilly and Mackris, emerging rose-scented from the mire, would love to thank you, the sucker-baited American viewing public, for their individual windfalls. But that’s something of an assumption on my part, as neither is “available for comment” on the matter.
Now that their cash registers are done ringing, they’d like a moment of privacy. I’m sure they’ll appreciate your consideration.
Contact Dave at 446-2726, or dave.addis@cox.net.
© October 31, 2004
Do you ever get tired of being used and abused?
Do you ever get completely fed up with being sucker-baited by the Great American Celebrity Machine?
Do you ever get frustrated to the point that you’d like to blackjack your way onto the set of “Good Morning America,” take over the microphone and declare your independence, once and forever, from swill and hypocrisy?
Admittedly, the older I get, the faster the crabby gene in my DNA double helix goes into overdrive. At this point in my life, my crabby gene is pumping more protein than my baldness gene, or my take-a-nap gene, or even my expando-beltline gene.
The latest: Friday, Fox News celebrity-lip Bill O’Reilly and Andrea Mackris, an on-again, off-again Fox News associate producer, very quietly and very privately settled what had been, up to that point, a very steamy and very public feud.
Mackris and her lawyer accused O’Reilly of sexual harassment involving a series of filth-laden phone calls, none of which he denied making.
O’Reilly and his lawyer accused Mackris and her lawyer of felony extortion, claiming that they were trying to shake down O’Reilly and the Fox network for $60 million. (Or $600 million. Depends on which interview you saw.)
And that’s the point: Both of these “victims” and their lawyers had for two weeks played out this cheesefest in every public venue they could command: broadcast TV, cable TV, radio, interviews in the prints. O’Reilly, outraged, demanding that he’d never submit to blackmail.
Mackris, in schoolmarm mufti, saying as much as she could say about those phone calls without getting bleeped.
But when the settlement was announced Friday, here’s what O’Reilly’s lawyer said in a prepared statement: “All cases and claims have been withdrawn, and all parties have agreed that there was no wrongdoing whatsoever by Mr. O’Reilly, Ms. Mackris, or Ms. Mackris’ counsel. ”
No wrongdoing whatsoever? What happened to these public accusations of extortion, which is a felony, and sexual harassment, which is emotional battery?
No wrongdoing whatsoever? Either somebody got blackmailed or emotionally abused, or they lied about it in court documents. If they want to settle, fine, but the explanation that there was “no wrongdoing whatsoever” is a fraud.
But never mind, folks. The message from both “victims” and their trained weasels is this: “Thank you, the viewing public, for your concerned attention to all of our interviews and allegations over these past weeks. But we don’t need you any longer, so kindly butt out.”
In a bug-tussle among normal human beings, I don’t mind if they settle quietly and privately.
Especially when the deal is as sleazy as this one. Double-especially when a woman may have been sexually abused by a powerful figure – even though she apparently never reported him to the cops or his wife or even to the Fox human resources bureau. Or even so much as hung up on him.
But we ought to update our legal code to declare that once a brace of media-savvy litigants like these have taken to the airwaves to loudly protest their innocence and their adversary’s guilt, they thereby forfeit all rights to a confidential settlement.
Just once, when presented with such a settlement, I’d love to see a judge say, “Confidential? Are you nuts? You people have been screeching your tales of woe in every public venue you could find for weeks on end. We’re not gonna suddenly bury the punch line here. Motion denied.”
No soap. What we’re left with are the legal documents filed up to Friday, which are available to computer-jockeys at www.thesmokinggun.com.
With no further explanation forthcoming, those documents seem to show that O’Reilly leads a secret life as a pervert – which is not necessarily a crime – and that while Mackris may well have been a victim, she seemed as interested in profiting from O’Reilly’s potty-mouthed calls as she was at stopping them.
The New York Daily News, relying on either good sources or good guesses, reported Saturday that O’Reilly will pay Mackris somewhere between $2 million and $10 million.
And the guy who claims to inhabit an intellectual “no-spin zone” raged in indignation Friday that “the media” was at fault for his public humiliation – apparently forgetting that he, himself, is a celebrated member of “the media” and that it sure wasn’t Tom Brokaw who was speed-dialing Andrea Mackris’ cell phone late at night, entertaining her with the sounds of his battery-powered sex toy.
Meantime, the ratings for O’Reilly’s program on Fox News reportedly have risen a whopping 30 percent since his peccadilloes went public.
I’m sure that O’Reilly and Mackris, emerging rose-scented from the mire, would love to thank you, the sucker-baited American viewing public, for their individual windfalls. But that’s something of an assumption on my part, as neither is “available for comment” on the matter.
Now that their cash registers are done ringing, they’d like a moment of privacy. I’m sure they’ll appreciate your consideration.
Contact Dave at 446-2726, or dave.addis@cox.net.
