New to deaf hearing dating..

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Mamaqs4

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I am 29, living in MD. Single mom of 4. Hearing

I have always wanted to learn ASL to the point that I could carry on a conversation. Right now I only know a few phrases and several signs for foods, animals and feelings. This week I started studying it more.

I taught my first 2 children baby signing but I had to stop eventually because my son wouldn't speak. He was 2 when he said his 1st word. He had to take speech for many years so I decided not to teach my other children after that. Now they are 3,5,7 and 9 so I think they can handle it now.

Anyway, I recently started dating a man in my small town and he is deaf. He is teaching me and I am teaching my kids again. They love it.

I had to look up several different sites before finding this one. I just want to know what it is like to be in a deaf/ hearing relationship. So far it hasn't been a big deal. I did have a friend that had a deaf mom and I also had a blind friend in High School so it's not a culture shock.

I just don't know what to expect if we were to become more serious. I welcome any insight on this subject. Your own personally experiences from either point of view would be very helpful.

Thank you
 
The largest hurdle to overcome on your part is going to be learning to include your deaf mate into conversations with your friends, family, children etc. This is something i still struggle with as i have no formal asl training and my fiancee does not really make much of an effort to teach me more signs than my short hand vocabulary and my incredibly(sometimes too fast) fast fingerspelling. I find it hard to keep a conversation with my hearing friends who as you may know, are east coasters and talk rediculously fast, and are accustomed to doing so. I find myself having to stop a conversation to give even the briefest breakdown of what is going on, then by the time ive done that ive created an awkward silence. I want to make this better, but its hard to overcome. So the biggest thing on your part is be sure to include your deaf partner in conversations and topics, it can be a big source of frustration for them. I had no experience signing, no interest in learning untill i met my fiancee amy, who is also a member here, i had past girlfriends try to teach me to no avail, or interest, then one day i came across her and immediately knew i wanted to be with her forever, i learned faster and better than i have ever learned anything, unfortunately once i could communicate quickly and effortlessly with HER, we pretty much stopped learning together, so thats where my education in asl stopped. im looking into some courses soon.
good luck and congrats!
 
Thank you for your response. I already see that being a big issue-tryin to include him in conversations...
I made dinner the other night and invited him and his son. The kids ate in the dining room and we sat in the living room. For the beginning part of dinner I was serving the kids and making plates then when the kids were settled I made his plate but the kids were talking back and forth and every once in awhile I would talk back at them and he would be at a lost to what we were talking about. My son is a year older than his son and they seemed to get along well. I was happy about that.

I am starting to see that this man is a lil needy. He wants to see me everyday. I realize that our conversations take twice as long because we get confused on what the other is tryin to say. We text, sign and finger spell but I still have problems understanding what he means sometimes. :dunno2:
 
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