catsmeow
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2011
- Messages
- 9
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Hello,
I guess I am here because I am wondering if I am alone on my journey.
I grew up in the 70's a sickly child but had full hearing.
As my teen years came along I started to lose my hearing..very, very slowly.
By the time I got divorced in 2005, I was wearing hearing aids. In 2009 I got my first Cochlear Implant (which failed due to my child like structures). In 2010 I has a revision. I still dont understand what noise comes through the devise, It makes my migranes intensify. Also I tend to not wear it because its lke I get too much imput (thats how I explain it to family and doctors). I wanna nap several times daily. Mind you I still have a hearing aide in my other ear but with out it, my world is silent. I can read lips as long as my hearing aid is on, but am totaly confused and cant do it without.
I dont want to say my dr's dont understand but they get upset when I say "Most days it is easier to not use anything".
My family loves me but gets so frustrated because I get lost in a conversation and don't understand what they said the first time.
My 15 year old has much patience, my 12 year old is working on that and is trying to understand mom is not ignoring him.
One option I was never given was the choice to learn sign languge. I have worked all my life and once I could not hear someone on the other end of a phone, I was put on SSA and told to stay home. I have a special phone at home but cant understand the other person or hold a intelegent conversation anymore.
Last year I took my kids to see a movie, I had to pay to get in and I did. I sat with my kids the entire 90 minutes but could not make out a word or understand what was going on. Upon leaving, I explained I never leave my kids unattended but did not hear any of the movie. They told me too bad.
Now I just wait for things to be on demand and use the captions. This has caused me to not be outgoing anymore, I shy away alot and dont ingage in contact with the hearing world. The TV shows dont all use captions (even if the show says CC). Music..ooh how I love music. Songs I grew up singing, I now miss half the song. I dont sound like I used to, to my self (I am sure that is just my hearing as my family says I sound the same). I love to swim with my kids, but I have to do so in silence, or stay at the shallow end and not participate in the fun (so I can wear my aide).
To be honest most of the time I love to turn everything (my device& aid) off, it is so calming and peaceful. However I am a very involved mom, so that is not often. Again the CI makes me sick. It is like being in a quiet room, then all of a sudden you get "logged on" to this noisey devise with a whole bunch of loud static coming at you constantly.
I am sorry for my rambling. I am just confused and don't know where I belong anymore. It is like I am not deaf enough (so no one will teach me to speak with my hands), but I am not hearing enough to be in a quiet room with 2 people and be able to understand my surroundings.
(Sorry for spelling errors)
I guess I am here because I am wondering if I am alone on my journey.
I grew up in the 70's a sickly child but had full hearing.
As my teen years came along I started to lose my hearing..very, very slowly.
By the time I got divorced in 2005, I was wearing hearing aids. In 2009 I got my first Cochlear Implant (which failed due to my child like structures). In 2010 I has a revision. I still dont understand what noise comes through the devise, It makes my migranes intensify. Also I tend to not wear it because its lke I get too much imput (thats how I explain it to family and doctors). I wanna nap several times daily. Mind you I still have a hearing aide in my other ear but with out it, my world is silent. I can read lips as long as my hearing aid is on, but am totaly confused and cant do it without.
I dont want to say my dr's dont understand but they get upset when I say "Most days it is easier to not use anything".
My family loves me but gets so frustrated because I get lost in a conversation and don't understand what they said the first time.
My 15 year old has much patience, my 12 year old is working on that and is trying to understand mom is not ignoring him.
One option I was never given was the choice to learn sign languge. I have worked all my life and once I could not hear someone on the other end of a phone, I was put on SSA and told to stay home. I have a special phone at home but cant understand the other person or hold a intelegent conversation anymore.
Last year I took my kids to see a movie, I had to pay to get in and I did. I sat with my kids the entire 90 minutes but could not make out a word or understand what was going on. Upon leaving, I explained I never leave my kids unattended but did not hear any of the movie. They told me too bad.
Now I just wait for things to be on demand and use the captions. This has caused me to not be outgoing anymore, I shy away alot and dont ingage in contact with the hearing world. The TV shows dont all use captions (even if the show says CC). Music..ooh how I love music. Songs I grew up singing, I now miss half the song. I dont sound like I used to, to my self (I am sure that is just my hearing as my family says I sound the same). I love to swim with my kids, but I have to do so in silence, or stay at the shallow end and not participate in the fun (so I can wear my aide).
To be honest most of the time I love to turn everything (my device& aid) off, it is so calming and peaceful. However I am a very involved mom, so that is not often. Again the CI makes me sick. It is like being in a quiet room, then all of a sudden you get "logged on" to this noisey devise with a whole bunch of loud static coming at you constantly.
I am sorry for my rambling. I am just confused and don't know where I belong anymore. It is like I am not deaf enough (so no one will teach me to speak with my hands), but I am not hearing enough to be in a quiet room with 2 people and be able to understand my surroundings.
(Sorry for spelling errors)