coolgirlspyer90
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- Jun 11, 2008
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I'm pretty much upset right now.. Because of alot of things thats going on in my family.
1) My aunt is sick, she's on radiation because she has a tumor in her colon, and she has ovaries cancer. And she has to be on radiation all summer. She had surgery to remove some tumor. But the doctor couldn't take all of it out. My uncle doesn't know what to do. My grandparents are angry at my uncle because he didn't buy the right food for my aunt's family. And my mom is a nurse and she takes care of my aunt all the time whenever she can.
2) I've been thinking about my crush: Jay. It's in my other post. You can find it on my profile. And about how i should figure this relationship out. Because we're just friends. But my mind is so confused about it. And i've been having mixed feelings. I like jay. He's so nice, so funny, sweet, very talented drummer, and makes me want to be around him but i get so shy when he's around other people.
3) Then with my 2 ex-friends, left me hanging in as the 3rd wheel. I never been in that position where they make me as a 'backup friend' and my ex-friend LIES, to me that the whole school in middle school was behind my back just because I was deaf. My good friend, told me that she was lying about it. it tears me apart.
4) My dog spankey, he had an injury on his back left leg because he was running and all the sudden he was limping. I don't know why. or how it happened. But thank god he didn't needed surgery. It would cost alot of money. My mom told me if he needed surgery; it would cost us 800 dollars.
5) With my grades from last year (English Languages Art) and Social Studies, I had a bad grade and i had to Pull that up to a C that will let me be in the band camp this week.
6) I want to find more better friends. But i'm scared I won't be able to. Because i always wanted friends. Elementary school was okay. Middle school sucked. I just hope high school will be better.
7) I'm trying to figure things out on alot of different things. About life, Love, everything. With the Iraq war going on, the gas prices going up, President bush, it puts us even more pressure on us. And sometimes I have to write in my diary just to make me feel better because I'm a writer. Or sometimes i would go on a bike ride up to my school's playground and think about whats going on in the world today. Sometimes I would also listen to my IPod. With the type of song i'm in the mood for.
Right now, I just don't know. My mind is most on about my Aunt....and my crush. I want a miracle to happen. I really do. I needed to cry., And I am. I already sended my ex-friends an email saying i didn't want to be friends with them anymore because they don't treat me right. But that was like last month. Because I knew if i kept being friends with them. I wouldn't be happy at all because they won't let me do what other real friends does. I haven't done anything between my crush and I. I just been dreaming of kissing him and hoping that something would happen later on. But i fear that if i did that, he wouldn't approve of it. And would just be disgusted or soemthing. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like my life is like a book. I don't know why. But It feels like a story. Well, My story. But I don't know whats going to happen in the future. Sorry this is so long. I just had to...anyways. i'll stop.
1) My aunt is sick, she's on radiation because she has a tumor in her colon, and she has ovaries cancer. And she has to be on radiation all summer. She had surgery to remove some tumor. But the doctor couldn't take all of it out. My uncle doesn't know what to do. My grandparents are angry at my uncle because he didn't buy the right food for my aunt's family. And my mom is a nurse and she takes care of my aunt all the time whenever she can.
2) I've been thinking about my crush: Jay. It's in my other post. You can find it on my profile. And about how i should figure this relationship out. Because we're just friends. But my mind is so confused about it. And i've been having mixed feelings. I like jay. He's so nice, so funny, sweet, very talented drummer, and makes me want to be around him but i get so shy when he's around other people.
3) Then with my 2 ex-friends, left me hanging in as the 3rd wheel. I never been in that position where they make me as a 'backup friend' and my ex-friend LIES, to me that the whole school in middle school was behind my back just because I was deaf. My good friend, told me that she was lying about it. it tears me apart.
4) My dog spankey, he had an injury on his back left leg because he was running and all the sudden he was limping. I don't know why. or how it happened. But thank god he didn't needed surgery. It would cost alot of money. My mom told me if he needed surgery; it would cost us 800 dollars.
5) With my grades from last year (English Languages Art) and Social Studies, I had a bad grade and i had to Pull that up to a C that will let me be in the band camp this week.
6) I want to find more better friends. But i'm scared I won't be able to. Because i always wanted friends. Elementary school was okay. Middle school sucked. I just hope high school will be better.
7) I'm trying to figure things out on alot of different things. About life, Love, everything. With the Iraq war going on, the gas prices going up, President bush, it puts us even more pressure on us. And sometimes I have to write in my diary just to make me feel better because I'm a writer. Or sometimes i would go on a bike ride up to my school's playground and think about whats going on in the world today. Sometimes I would also listen to my IPod. With the type of song i'm in the mood for.
Right now, I just don't know. My mind is most on about my Aunt....and my crush. I want a miracle to happen. I really do. I needed to cry., And I am. I already sended my ex-friends an email saying i didn't want to be friends with them anymore because they don't treat me right. But that was like last month. Because I knew if i kept being friends with them. I wouldn't be happy at all because they won't let me do what other real friends does. I haven't done anything between my crush and I. I just been dreaming of kissing him and hoping that something would happen later on. But i fear that if i did that, he wouldn't approve of it. And would just be disgusted or soemthing. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like my life is like a book. I don't know why. But It feels like a story. Well, My story. But I don't know whats going to happen in the future. Sorry this is so long. I just had to...anyways. i'll stop.
