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Monarch helped family let Emma go - New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz
As Emma Agnew's body was being committed to the grave in a private family ceremony, a monarch butterfly hovered almost spiritually over her cherry-red casket.
It glided over the heads of her parents, Henry and Louise Agnew, and their three sons, before disappearing into the skies.
"It was the most amazing, special thing I'd ever seen," said Margaret Mulqueen, Emma Agnew's aunt, who watched the captive butterfly being released into the wild.
Butterflies, thought to be deaf, are the emblem of the deaf community, symbolising freedom and independence.
But this butterfly had extra significance. It had been sent from the North Island in a cardboard box for release at Agnew's gravesite by a Hamilton butterfly breeder who organises monarch releases for special occasions.
Mary Carden had followed Agnew's story in the media and felt moved to send one of her golden monarchs as a goodwill gesture.
"When they let the butterfly go, that was taking Emma's spirit. Each time the family see a monarch they will know it's her watching over them," said Carden. "It was to let the family let her go."
The problem for Carden was how to send the butterfly to Christchurch on a Sunday, in time for the funeral the next day, with Air New Zealand charging for a minimum 20kg of freight.
So Carden drove to Hamilton Airport, told her story to sympathetic Air New Zealand staff, and they arranged for a Christchurch-bound pilot to deliver the butterfly personally into the hands of the Agnew family.
It is one of the many mini-miracles of human kindness that stand out for the Agnews from the blur of the past five weeks since the loss of their 20-year-old daughter.
Agnew was suddenly wrenched from them by murderous hands on November 15, and life will never be the same for them or their large extended families.
But their intolerable grief has been lightened by the tsunami of support received from both the deaf and hearing communities.
Henry and Louise Agnew are still in a state of disbelief as they recall the aftermath of the event that propelled this most private of couples into the media spotlight.
Speaking at their Templeton cottage through a Deaf Association interpreter - with extended family members present - they feel it is time to acknowledge the community's generosity and what it has meant to them.
More than 2500 cards have poured in, expressing sadness and empathy, from around the country. So have floral tributes, verses, fresh baking and cash.
Donations for as much as $1000 have come from strangers keen to restore some of the family's faith in human nature and ease its burden in any way they could.
The Deaf Association had hoped to raise $5000 in support of the Agnew family, but the pledges came in so thick and fast that the rising target kept getting surpassed.
So far nearly $25,000 has been collected, and the family has yet to decide how it will best be spent. Many donations came with heartfelt messages of hope and sympathy.
"We felt a sense of community bonding," said Henry Agnew. "We've been through a very difficult time and people have been there for us to support our family."
Practical donations, besides money, helped the Agnews through the first tumultuous weeks.
Enough food to sustain an army battalion arrived on the doorstep from groups and businesses eager to contribute. It meant the clan that rallied around to support the Agnews' day and night vigil did not go hungry.
"The Salvation Army arrived with a truckful of food," said Mulqueen, Henry Agnew's sister.
"The Deaf Association and the Christchurch Deaf Club came with untold food. The cupboards were bulging, the hallway was bulging, the bedroom was bulging with food. It was everywhere."
A donation of 20 litres of milk helped with the hundreds of cups of tea and coffee drunk while waiting for news from the police. Then there were canned foods, loaves of bread and toilet paper for Africa.
The barbecue came in handy to feed the masses, said Henry Agnew. "But it got to the stage where the barbecue set on fire."
No problem. Mitre 10 Mega at Hornby gave the family a new one and delivered it to the Agnews' spacious backyard.
Templeton farmers provided fresh meat for the family to use on its upgraded barbecue.
Telecom gave phone cards worth $500 so the Agnews could stay connected with loved ones.
Deaf interpreters were flown from the North Island to back their southern counterparts, who were swamped with work.
When Emma Agnew's body was found concealed by brush in Spencer Park and the police inquiry swung into a new phase, so did support from the public.
Agnew's funeral became the community's focus for a second wave of generosity.
The family struggled to find a venue big enough at short notice to accommodate the hundreds of mourners expected to attend.
Burnside High School came to the rescue. Its Aurora Centre had a booking for that Monday but it was willingly bumped to allow the funeral to go ahead on that day.
The Deaf Association and Television New Zealand arranged for the funeral to be beamed into five centres around the country for mourners unable to attend in person.
Funeral sheets were printed gratis and Spotless Services, which Mulqueen works for, put on a huge spread at cost.
Domino's Pizzas arranged to supply takeaways for the after-function at the Deaf Society. On hearing that guests numbered almost 300, it upsized the order to 75 pizzas.
Agnew's all-time favourite, apricot and chicken, was among the toppings.
The police effort came in for special mention from the family.
The inquiry team had done a superb job and handled with ease the extra dimension of dealing with deaf members of the community, said Agnew's impressed uncle, Noel Agnew.
"They were very good. A lot of them wouldn't have had contact with deaf people before," he said.
"Even the closeness and the concern that the police showed were really evident. They got behind the fact that Emma was a special person and they stepped up, too.
"I can't say enough about the detectives who were assigned, both to the family and to the tasks they had. They did a lot of long hours and a lot of unpleasant jobs and they just kept going."
Mulqueen agreed.
"They were so committed. They said they weren't going to rest until they found her. They were just amazing and so focused."
The detectives have since departed and the intense media attention has abated.
Sympathy cards have slowed to a trickle.
Henry Agnew has returned to work as a maintenance foreman for Mainland Tomatoes. Life for the Agnews has regained some semblance of normality.
Thoughts are now turning to the family gathering at Christmas, a beach holiday and a trip to Auckland in the new year to visit Louise Agnew's family.
Henry Agnew, who loves his seafood, is keen to go fishing and diving.
Emma Agnew was one of his fishing buddies and it will be ordinary family moments like these when her absence will be especially felt.
Asked how he will best remember his daughter, Henry Agnew hesitates. "I just love her smile," he said, wiping away a tear.
"She loved to smile and now there's no more smile around. We miss Emma. Really, very, very sad."
Hopefully, there will be more butterfly moments to remind the Agnews of their daughter.
The butterfly breeder gifted the Agnews a packet of swan plant seeds that they intend to plant at her graveside to attract more monarchs.
As Emma Agnew's body was being committed to the grave in a private family ceremony, a monarch butterfly hovered almost spiritually over her cherry-red casket.
It glided over the heads of her parents, Henry and Louise Agnew, and their three sons, before disappearing into the skies.
"It was the most amazing, special thing I'd ever seen," said Margaret Mulqueen, Emma Agnew's aunt, who watched the captive butterfly being released into the wild.
Butterflies, thought to be deaf, are the emblem of the deaf community, symbolising freedom and independence.
But this butterfly had extra significance. It had been sent from the North Island in a cardboard box for release at Agnew's gravesite by a Hamilton butterfly breeder who organises monarch releases for special occasions.
Mary Carden had followed Agnew's story in the media and felt moved to send one of her golden monarchs as a goodwill gesture.
"When they let the butterfly go, that was taking Emma's spirit. Each time the family see a monarch they will know it's her watching over them," said Carden. "It was to let the family let her go."
The problem for Carden was how to send the butterfly to Christchurch on a Sunday, in time for the funeral the next day, with Air New Zealand charging for a minimum 20kg of freight.
So Carden drove to Hamilton Airport, told her story to sympathetic Air New Zealand staff, and they arranged for a Christchurch-bound pilot to deliver the butterfly personally into the hands of the Agnew family.
It is one of the many mini-miracles of human kindness that stand out for the Agnews from the blur of the past five weeks since the loss of their 20-year-old daughter.
Agnew was suddenly wrenched from them by murderous hands on November 15, and life will never be the same for them or their large extended families.
But their intolerable grief has been lightened by the tsunami of support received from both the deaf and hearing communities.
Henry and Louise Agnew are still in a state of disbelief as they recall the aftermath of the event that propelled this most private of couples into the media spotlight.
Speaking at their Templeton cottage through a Deaf Association interpreter - with extended family members present - they feel it is time to acknowledge the community's generosity and what it has meant to them.
More than 2500 cards have poured in, expressing sadness and empathy, from around the country. So have floral tributes, verses, fresh baking and cash.
Donations for as much as $1000 have come from strangers keen to restore some of the family's faith in human nature and ease its burden in any way they could.
The Deaf Association had hoped to raise $5000 in support of the Agnew family, but the pledges came in so thick and fast that the rising target kept getting surpassed.
So far nearly $25,000 has been collected, and the family has yet to decide how it will best be spent. Many donations came with heartfelt messages of hope and sympathy.
"We felt a sense of community bonding," said Henry Agnew. "We've been through a very difficult time and people have been there for us to support our family."
Practical donations, besides money, helped the Agnews through the first tumultuous weeks.
Enough food to sustain an army battalion arrived on the doorstep from groups and businesses eager to contribute. It meant the clan that rallied around to support the Agnews' day and night vigil did not go hungry.
"The Salvation Army arrived with a truckful of food," said Mulqueen, Henry Agnew's sister.
"The Deaf Association and the Christchurch Deaf Club came with untold food. The cupboards were bulging, the hallway was bulging, the bedroom was bulging with food. It was everywhere."
A donation of 20 litres of milk helped with the hundreds of cups of tea and coffee drunk while waiting for news from the police. Then there were canned foods, loaves of bread and toilet paper for Africa.
The barbecue came in handy to feed the masses, said Henry Agnew. "But it got to the stage where the barbecue set on fire."
No problem. Mitre 10 Mega at Hornby gave the family a new one and delivered it to the Agnews' spacious backyard.
Templeton farmers provided fresh meat for the family to use on its upgraded barbecue.
Telecom gave phone cards worth $500 so the Agnews could stay connected with loved ones.
Deaf interpreters were flown from the North Island to back their southern counterparts, who were swamped with work.
When Emma Agnew's body was found concealed by brush in Spencer Park and the police inquiry swung into a new phase, so did support from the public.
Agnew's funeral became the community's focus for a second wave of generosity.
The family struggled to find a venue big enough at short notice to accommodate the hundreds of mourners expected to attend.
Burnside High School came to the rescue. Its Aurora Centre had a booking for that Monday but it was willingly bumped to allow the funeral to go ahead on that day.
The Deaf Association and Television New Zealand arranged for the funeral to be beamed into five centres around the country for mourners unable to attend in person.
Funeral sheets were printed gratis and Spotless Services, which Mulqueen works for, put on a huge spread at cost.
Domino's Pizzas arranged to supply takeaways for the after-function at the Deaf Society. On hearing that guests numbered almost 300, it upsized the order to 75 pizzas.
Agnew's all-time favourite, apricot and chicken, was among the toppings.
The police effort came in for special mention from the family.
The inquiry team had done a superb job and handled with ease the extra dimension of dealing with deaf members of the community, said Agnew's impressed uncle, Noel Agnew.
"They were very good. A lot of them wouldn't have had contact with deaf people before," he said.
"Even the closeness and the concern that the police showed were really evident. They got behind the fact that Emma was a special person and they stepped up, too.
"I can't say enough about the detectives who were assigned, both to the family and to the tasks they had. They did a lot of long hours and a lot of unpleasant jobs and they just kept going."
Mulqueen agreed.
"They were so committed. They said they weren't going to rest until they found her. They were just amazing and so focused."
The detectives have since departed and the intense media attention has abated.
Sympathy cards have slowed to a trickle.
Henry Agnew has returned to work as a maintenance foreman for Mainland Tomatoes. Life for the Agnews has regained some semblance of normality.
Thoughts are now turning to the family gathering at Christmas, a beach holiday and a trip to Auckland in the new year to visit Louise Agnew's family.
Henry Agnew, who loves his seafood, is keen to go fishing and diving.
Emma Agnew was one of his fishing buddies and it will be ordinary family moments like these when her absence will be especially felt.
Asked how he will best remember his daughter, Henry Agnew hesitates. "I just love her smile," he said, wiping away a tear.
"She loved to smile and now there's no more smile around. We miss Emma. Really, very, very sad."
Hopefully, there will be more butterfly moments to remind the Agnews of their daughter.
The butterfly breeder gifted the Agnews a packet of swan plant seeds that they intend to plant at her graveside to attract more monarchs.