Soonersseth
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2003
- Messages
- 1,395
- Reaction score
- 0
The Men's List
Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit,
it's pretty good. We
always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here
are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules!
*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear
us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor..
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys..
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during
commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer,
expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,
it's like camping.
Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit,
it's pretty good. We
always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here
are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules!
*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear
us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor..
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys..
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during
commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer,
expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,
it's like camping.
:roll: Men are Pigs!
..
it's true! 