Love and Marriage

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GarnetTigerMom

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Love and Marriage


A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

:giggle::giggle::giggle:
 
Excellent one! :lol::lol:


"A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."

:giggle:
 
Ozzie said:
Excellent one! :lol::lol:


"A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."

:giggle:
Click to expand...

LOL LOL,, now that funny good one!~ ha :giggle::giggle:
 
#CASE 1
Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

#CASE 2
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

#CASE 3
Before a man is married, he is incomplete.
Then when he is married, he is finished.

#CASE 4
Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

#CASE 5
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

#CASE 6
Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

#CASE 7
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

#CASE 8
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take;
the husband gives and the wife takes

#CASE 9
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But, when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

#CASE 10
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

#CASE 11
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

#CASE 12
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified :
"Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters.
They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

#CASE 13 #CASE 14
A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked.The woman replied, "A multimillionaire
 
:giggle:thanks for the chuckles keep them going heehee
 
#Case 1 - 14 jokes ....That was absolutely terrific, Garnet! :giggle:

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"A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

:giggle:
 
Ozzie said:
#Case 1 - 14 jokes ....That was absolutely terrific, Garnet! :giggle:

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"A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

:giggle:
Click to expand...


LOL glad you enjoy it,,, I try to see what else to come up with if i am not running out of ideas lol
 
GarnetTigerMom said:
LOL glad you enjoy it,,, I try to see what else to come up with if i am not running out of ideas lol
Click to expand...

Then I'll help you along with one here -



Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"

:giggle::giggle:
 
Ozzie said:
Then I'll help you along with one here -



Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"

:giggle::giggle:
Click to expand...

LOL that good one!! I wonder that too ! lol :giggle:
 
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