Loosing my hearing and my steady hand.

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musicalspirit

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Hi alldeaf. Silly, isn't it? Someone with a moniker like mine being here. Well, here's my story, and I'm sticking by it. First off, I am loosing my hearing. The blasted doctors are telling me that "it happens when you get older", for crying out loud, I'm only 55! I suffer tinius so badly that I can't hear over the ringing. I know that some one out there knows and understands what I am going through. I get angry and frustrated when I have to tell my wife, four and five times, to repeat herself, and she changes her first statement to try to make it easier "for me to hear". I want to scream at her, my siblings, and everybody to tries to talk "baby-talk" thinking that it will help. Oh crap no, this isn't working. Then I've had 4 nervous breakdowns in the last 4 years. Translated, that means I've been hospitalized 4 times in the last 4 years for at least a week and a half. The medicine I'm given doesn't help with the hearing problem and adds a trembling problem. And I won't go into the problems with my marriage, that's a whole different book, but know this, it's one that hurts me deeply. Other than that, Hi alldeaf.com, I'm musicalspirit, I use to love music, most of all oldies, '30's, 40's 50's, and 60's. I used to play the keyboard, guitars ( I had 3 which I've pretty much given all to my only son), I use to love to sing ( I sang bass, baritone, solo, duets, trios, & quartet) and I was just beginning to really shine in all of the above. I live a lonely life in this shell to which I've been dammed, and as you can see, I have a rotten outlook on life right now, so, you wanted to know about me, here I am, I'll take any abuse, comments (nasty or otherwise), or whatever. Thanks for letting me spout off.
 
No abusive or nasty comments from me...I hope your being here will help you realize you are not alone and maybe you can learn from others who've been in your shoes. Frustration and feelings of helplessness are not uncommon for many deaf people or people losing their hearing.
 
Hi musicalspirit, and welcome. You will find a lot of good folks here with experience of what you're going through. It's a common late-deafened thing to feel the sense of loss more acutely than do people who are born deaf or become deaf early in childhood.

First off, have you seen an audiologist? Today's hearing aids are a-MAZ-ing. Some are better than others when it comes to listening to music. Digital aids can often be programmed, and a program for music is one of the most common things people want. I have that program on mine (Phonak Savia Arts, kind of old now and no longer made; the newest Phonak is the Naida, which many people here like a lot). It is stunning what a difference the music program made vs. the aids I had before that.

Oticon also makes good programmable aids that many people here like. There are other brands too, but you'll see those two names quite frequently.

Be prepared to spend some coin: not unusual to be in the $4,000 - $6,000 range, all told, for both aids, including the exam, ear molds, fittings, etc. Well worth it when you consider the quality of life you get back.

Also, look into those meds you have been prescribed. Google them and see if any of them are ototoxic. If taking the medications has corresponded with the time of your hearing loss, that could be a reason right there. Don't quit taking anything without discussing it with your doctor, of course, but ototoxic drugs, which injure your hearing, are often a cause of hearing loss that people don't know about.

Second point: it's actually a good thing that your wife is attempting to re-word her statements to you. I don't know about the "baby talk" part, but some words really are more difficult to hear if you have a hearing loss, and it does help sometimes if someone can re-word something. Sounds to me like she is trying to do what she can to make communication better with you, and that's always a good starting point, even if the results are imperfect. At least she's trying.

Re: the tinnitus: some people say stay away from caffeine. Personally I don't know if it makes much difference, but might be worth a try to cut down, if that's an issue with you. One audi told me that exercise helps, as it helps improve blood circulation, including in your ears. Hmmm.... Again, I don't know if that's true, but sure can't hurt. I feel better generally when I'm swimming and working out and taking care of myself. Plus, you'll be more tired, and thus sleep more readily, regardless of the tinnitutus.

Some people use "white noise," either machines that play a soft sound (like waves on the beach, or rain, or something similar), or use a fan on low, that sort of thing.

Also, if you get hearing aids, you will again hear more of the normal background noises that you are now missing, and that might help mask the tinnitus also.

Please don't feel like you are now damned to living a lonely life in a shell. There are so, so many technological advances in hearing aid technology, assistive devices for the hard-of-hearing, various gadgets to make talking on the phone easier, so on and so forth. Don't give up; there is a lot of help out there, and a lot of us here have gone through much the same things as you are going through now.

Good luck, and do keep posting.
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. Well, I don't know what to say. You are now Late Deafened person. You really need help with someone who is late deafened to cope with not be able to hear again. You can not bring your hearing back to normal, but that is something you need to adapt and trying to live with it. I am sorry that you had gone through emotional time in the hospital (4 times and that is a lot) and got frustrated with your family members.

We will try to help you here on AllDeaf forum. So enjoy reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
Although Im 30 years your junior, I feel your pain. Since I was a small child Ive loved music, my mom and dad raised me on country and rock. At the age of 10 I lost all hearing in my right ear, this didnt effect me much though. But then at 21, I went completely deaf...Talk about WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! At the time I was just starting my sophomore year at college, and was on my way to having a great career ahead of me. Well long story short the college "said" they would work with me, but the teachers wouldn't. Like 2 days afterwords I had a nervous breakdown :( Found out I was going to need 2 brain surgeries and realized being completely deaf blows *** when you went from loving music and car's (I love the sound of a good car), to not being able to hear anything at all.

I will say it does get easier, but I cant wait until I have my next surgery so that maybe I will get a little hearing back.

EndRant/
 
Hello from another late deafened person. Welcome to AD! :wave:
 
hey there and welcome aboard to the community :) I have been HOH (Hard Of Hearing, no hearing on my right side) since kindergarten and I'm 26 now and my hearing hasn't been the same since march. It has always been bad, but its becoming so bad for me people sound like chipmunks and I can't hear myself clearly. I've accepted my hearing loss before, and I'm trying to learn to accept the possibility of complete hearing loss. Its not easy! But keep in mind... you are NOT alone in this. No matter what it will get better for you! There is a lot of support in the forum from all around the world and we're all here to help each other.
 
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