Just feel depressed...

BabyAngel

BabyAngel

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I don't know if I should do this or not, but I want to do this to take it out from my chest.

I just have been so depressed all day and night since yesterday. I couldn't able to sleep tonight since it is 2:16 a.m. right now, I am going crazy now. I know I shouldn't be depress because I deserve to be happy no matter what, but I just can't.

Why? There are a lot of reasons....Because my friends that I know very well...they just talked behind my back and don't even talk with me much anymore. I felt so hurt because I never thought that they would do that to me, but they did. Since I just moved to my new place, my friends don't talk to me much. I don't understand why, but they always ask me about hang out or do something, but they need to understand that I'm too busy to spend the time with my family, spend the time with my future sister in law to prepare for the wedding (Her and my brother are getting married in three weeks) and I tried to go to deaf church, but I can't because I had to go with my grandma to her hearing church since she is so lonely most of times because she lost her husband last February, I just want to be there with my grandma.

I also got depressed because I really missed my dad, I didn't even realize how much I love him. But since he was gone last January, I can't do anything except talk to him because I know he is around me all the times. I just wish to say I love you or something to him before he was gone. It was so quick for him to leave me and my family. I mean he was too young, but I know it was his time to leave. I can't blame God for that. Sometime I do feel guilty because me and my dad had some problems in the past, but I know he loves me so much because he left me everything (not my brother) I was just shocked that he left me with everything. I just wish that I never say I hate him, but I know in his heart that I love him. I didn't really mean to say I hate him, it was just because I was so mad at him for everything in the past.

I just CAN'T sleep at all because everything are in my mind! I don't know what to do...I just felt like I lost my good friends but I don't like it the way they did to me. I really don't have any deaf friends much, but only FEW deaf friends. I know God wants me to stop worry, stop being guilty, stop being depress. He wants me to be happy and move on because everything will be ok. I am trying to be happy....
 
hi! Sorry about your dad... and friends. sounds like you are going through a huge adjustment in your life, and you may be seeing things a bit differently now. you're in a new world now, and your friends probably don't know how to reach you.. so they're probably running around like headless chickens. sounds like they have little guidance in what to do in a situation like this... that's where you come in. with whistles and bell.

have you tried confronting them in a positive way, and ask them to allow you this time to grieve with their understanding? or have you asked them to tag along with you to church, counseling, or elsewhere that matters to you right now? the small things count like you wouldn't believe! they are probably afraid of losing you, more likely! people usually push away those they love so they won't disappoint them. friendship is a two way street, and that means you need to be open to your friends' worlds- what they really think.. not just what your conclusions about them are. they probably did a bad thing... talking behind your back, but you need to be willing to find out why. that takes courage, i know... they perhaps did not have dark intentions of doing that. they perhaps need to be educated lovingly about grieving processes. once again, people won't know what you think until you tell them... and i would bet money that they CARE about you.. just don't know how to help you. :) take my words with a grain of salt though... and i hope this has helped. i know if i were one of your friends, i would be at a loss about how to help you... i haven't the same experiences you have now.. would want you to educate me. ;) you sound like a terrific person.
 
well look at the bright side...everything happens for a reason.

certainly I've been hurt, depressed and feeling gulity alot of times before and I always try my best to be as good as a person can be, you know? I do anything to show respect and support to the people that I admire, but all in all, some people just don't really care about you but they just think of themselves all the time and always want attention, etc...
I've been through hell with my dad, who've left us years ago and we are indeed better off without him since he's totally fucked up and all...
I felt like I was struck by lighting half to death when my ex told me she no longer loves me so I had to accept the fact that it's time for me to move on and I actually do feel alot better moving on than trying to spend time with my ex, who took advantage of me in alot of ways and she said she wasn't but...she just has alot of problems, and the only weird thing is that I still love her, even though she doesn't love me anymore so I just have to move on, which was the hardest thing I've ever done.
But at least I feel like I'm totally free. I don't have many deaf friends either but at least I still get in touch with a few good friends of mine...even though they may be busy all the time...even I'm a busy man too! lol so I just go out and hang out with my deaf friends once in awhile while most of the time I hang out with my brother and his g/f and even some others that went to high school with us...they are my good friends too.

I hope that everything will be okay for you in the future, which I think it will be anyway but in the meantime, perhas you need to find someone you can trust, and have a good talk with someone about your feelings and stuff like that, you know?
it's normal to feel that way for awhile but otherwise, you just need to get over it and go out and do something that you could enjoy. stop worrying about what your friends told you...just fuck 'em. if they can't understand that family always come first than anything else, then fuck 'em.

so just hang in there, girl.
 
I been there. A lot of the knives on my back were from my friends. You'll learn and live through this. No need to beat yourself up over it.

Your dad simply needs a little breathing space for himself and he'll come back.

Richard
 
Steel said:
so just hang in there, girl.
Click to expand...

PSSSSST! it is a BOY :)





OMFG!!! :Oops: i don't know what the hell i was thinking!!! i was thinking about RJR!!! NOT BABYANGEL!!! MY BIGGGGGG APOLOGIES!!! :bowdown:

i am sorry steel and babyangel!!! :aw: MWAH!!! :D
 
Mod Note:

I feel this thread deserve to be 'sticky' for the time being so AD'ers can give her the support and encouragements she sure could greatly use!
 
Roadrunner said:
Mod Note:

I feel this thread deserve to be 'sticky' for the time being so AD'ers can give her the support and encouragements she sure could greatly use!
Click to expand...

i wasn't trying to mock anyone or anything.. sorry if you got the wrong impression.. but i just made a little mistake with the "sexual genre" .. thats all .. and he made a joke out of this...i wasn't even trying to hurt anyone at all... (sigh)
 
FeistyChick said:
i wasn't trying to mock anyone or anything.. sorry if you got the wrong impression.. but i just made a little mistake with the "sexual genre" .. thats all .. and he made a joke out of this...i wasn't even trying to hurt anyone at all... (sigh)
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Off-topic:

I realize you weren't trying to hurt or offend anyone and ofc, you simply made a (in your words) boo-boo and that can happen from time to time.... ;)
 
BabyAngel said:
I don't know if I should do this or not, but I want to do this to take it out from my chest.

I just have been so depressed all day and night since yesterday. I couldn't able to sleep tonight since it is 2:16 a.m. right now, I am going crazy now. I know I shouldn't be depress because I deserve to be happy no matter what, but I just can't.

Why? There are a lot of reasons....Because my friends that I know very well...they just talked behind my back and don't even talk with me much anymore. I felt so hurt because I never thought that they would do that to me, but they did. Since I just moved to my new place, my friends don't talk to me much. I don't understand why, but they always ask me about hang out or do something, but they need to understand that I'm too busy to spend the time with my family, spend the time with my future sister in law to prepare for the wedding (Her and my brother are getting married in three weeks) and I tried to go to deaf church, but I can't because I had to go with my grandma to her hearing church since she is so lonely most of times because she lost her husband last February, I just want to be there with my grandma.

I also got depressed because I really missed my dad, I didn't even realize how much I love him. But since he was gone last January, I can't do anything except talk to him because I know he is around me all the times. I just wish to say I love you or something to him before he was gone. It was so quick for him to leave me and my family. I mean he was too young, but I know it was his time to leave. I can't blame God for that. Sometime I do feel guilty because me and my dad had some problems in the past, but I know he loves me so much because he left me everything (not my brother) I was just shocked that he left me with everything. I just wish that I never say I hate him, but I know in his heart that I love him. I didn't really mean to say I hate him, it was just because I was so mad at him for everything in the past.

I just CAN'T sleep at all because everything are in my mind! I don't know what to do...I just felt like I lost my good friends but I don't like it the way they did to me. I really don't have any deaf friends much, but only FEW deaf friends. I know God wants me to stop worry, stop being guilty, stop being depress. He wants me to be happy and move on because everything will be ok. I am trying to be happy....
Click to expand...

it sounds like you haven't had a CHANCE TO GRIEVE.. cuz you had deaths in a short period of time!!! and then trying to be there for other people instead of grieving for yourself if you get my drift... and now you are focusing on the wedding :hug: so what you are feeling and going through is normal dear... once this settles.. things will get better... your friends are just being "selfish" IMO... because real friends WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.. THEY WOULD JUST BE THERE AND SUPPORT YOU INSTEAD OF IGNORING YOU OR MAKING YOU FEEL GUILTY!?!? what kind of friends are they??? hang in there kiddo! you will get through this hard time :hug:
 
FeistyChick said:
PSSSSST! it is a BOY :)





OMFG!!! :Oops: i don't know what the hell i was thinking!!! i was thinking about RJR!!! NOT BABYANGEL!!! MY BIGGGGGG APOLOGIES!!! :bowdown:

i am sorry steel and babyangel!!! :aw: MWAH!!! :D
Click to expand...

You got me laugh a little bit
 
Nesmuth said:
I been there. A lot of the knives on my back were from my friends. You'll learn and live through this. No need to beat yourself up over it.

Your dad simply needs a little breathing space for himself and he'll come back.

Richard
Click to expand...

What do you mean....little breathing space for himself and he'll come back????? :confused:
 
Baby Angel,

My mother was passed away when I had two little sons. They were 4 and 3 yrs old. I do not have anyone closer or best friend around here to give me support. I was alone most of the time to focus on my life, job and two children.

Believe it or not, I do still miss my Mom since 1990 (15 years) on May 12th.

I had been depress for a long time as I had to fight myself to stand up with my own two feet on the ground for two boys's sake. My financial went really bad, homeless, no food, no clothes, etc.. My car had been problem with the enginer. I do not have any money to going anywhere places.

I learn to ignore people who backstabber on my back. I realize, it is worth to ignore them. yes, it is very painful for you to lose best friend. You can see how much your best friend did not tell you the truth.

I may wrong assume that you have a family, grandmother, etc.. Your friend may be jealous of you for some reason.

I lose my two best friends. I move on with my life. yes, it is very hard at first. We need to grow up everyday in our life to move on with our life.

:ily: Hang in there !!
 
BabyAngel said:
What do you mean....little breathing space for himself and he'll come back????? :confused:
Click to expand...

Trust me its one healthy option than violence at the home. I seen worse. If he chooses to leave im sure its probably for a little while as he needs to be alone for a while and your patience is the most important thing to have at this time.

Richard
 
Nesmuth said:
Trust me its one healthy option than violence at the home. I seen worse. If he chooses to leave im sure its probably for a little while as he needs to be alone for a while and your patience is the most important thing to have at this time.

Richard
Click to expand...

(sigh) ... her dad passed away a few months ago...

i hope she is not FEELING ANY WORSE after SEEING YOUR COMMENTS... :roll:
 
I didnt see 'passed away' or any explicit detail. Thats the problem workers have as they seem to aggravate problems by their clients hiding a lot of details and facts.

I seen this before too and I'll recuse myself from this thread and wish her the best of luck in her journey of life.

Richard
 
Nesmuth said:
I didnt see 'passed away' or any explicit detail. Thats the problem workers have as they seem to aggravate problems by their clients hiding a lot of details and facts.

I seen this before too and I'll recuse myself from this thread and wish her the best of luck in her journey of life.

Richard
Click to expand...


EXCUSE ME... but she DID NOT hide anything... as a matter of fact.. she DID mention the passing of her father and a few of her relatives in a short period of time in a thread a while ago..

and yes i think it is a good idea to remove yourself from this thread.. :ty:
 
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