Irish short joke :-)

Ozzie said:
:lol::lol: I haven't heard that one -

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Q. How do you get a one-armed Irishman down from a tree?
A. Wave to him


:giggle:
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Hahahahahaha

Loved these Irish jokes - Im an Irish Catholic so I find it hilarious, especially with the drunkard in the confession. Im going to share that with my friends. :) :giggle:
 
LOL more----

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Newly arrived in Boston from the old country, Paddy O'Shea called his brother back home. "Sean, it's amazin, these American cities. On most every street, they got glass outhouses, and it's TELEPHONES they put in 'em!"
 
:giggle::giggle: Great one! -

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The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.

:giggle:
 
lol let see what else...

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The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "
"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."

"Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?" "No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !"

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk !!

Mike lay dying on his bed when his wife Brigid came in to him and asked if there was anything he wanted.
Mike said "Brigid, what is that delicious smell coming from the kitchen?"
And Brigid replied "Oh Mike that is a ham I am baking ."
Mike thought, and said "Brigid, as my dying wish I would love to have some of that ham you're
cooking."
Then Brigid said "Oh Mike, I'm saving that for the wake !!"

"Did you hear that Flanagan invented an invisible deodorant ?" "No, what good is it ?"
"Well if you use, you vanish and no one knows where the smell is coming from !"
 
:lol::lol::lol: - Good ones! GTM

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The good Father was warning his listeners about the suddenness of death. "Before another day is ended," he thundered, "somebody in this parish will die." Seated in the front row was a little old Irishman who laughed out loud at this statement. Very angry, the priest said to the jovial old man, "What's so funny?" "Well!" spoke up the oldster, "I'm not a member of this parish."

:lol:
 
Shayne had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the
night.

Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight,
Shayne".

Shayne replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Shayne spins around
on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shite" he
says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He looks
to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the
door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door
and shimmies up the doorframe. He sticks his head outside and takes a
deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto
the sidewalk.

He falls flat on his face.

"I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors
down,and crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe, opens the
door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No
fockin' way".

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it
to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Mary, comes into the room carrying a cup
of coffee and says, "Get up Shayne. Did you have a bit to drink last
night?".

Shayne says, "I did Mary. I was fockin' p!ssed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub again!"
 
Another repeat, GTM but I forgive ya .... you need glasses! :giggle:

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A wealthy farmer went to church one Sunday. After services he said to the priest, "Father, that was a damned good sermon you gave, damned good!" "I'm happy you liked it," said the priest. "But I wish you wouldn't use those terms in expressing yourself." "I can't help it," said the rich farmer. "I still think it was a damned good sermon. In fact, I liked it so much I put a fifty pound note in the collection basket." "The hell you did?!" replied the priest.

:lol:
 
Ozzie said:
Another repeat, GTM but I forgive ya .... you need glasses! :giggle:

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A wealthy farmer went to church one Sunday. After services he said to the priest, "Father, that was a damned good sermon you gave, damned good!" "I'm happy you liked it," said the priest. "But I wish you wouldn't use those terms in expressing yourself." "I can't help it," said the rich farmer. "I still think it was a damned good sermon. In fact, I liked it so much I put a fifty pound note in the collection basket." "The hell you did?!" replied the priest.

:lol:
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LOL damn you right i do need glasses lol LOL you beat me to the pulp on this one LOL ha :giggle:
 
Gemma said:
Hahahahahaha

Loved these Irish jokes - Im an Irish Catholic so I find it hilarious, especially with the drunkard in the confession. Im going to share that with my friends. :) :giggle:
Click to expand...

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Glad to hear that you are enjoying this battle of wits between GTM & I on the Irish! :giggle:
 
Ozzie said:
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Glad to hear that you are enjoying this battle of wits between GTM & I on the Irish! :giggle:
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I shared some of them with my aunt, cousins, and two sisters..they all got a hoot out of it especially the one about where irish family goes for vacation - to a different pub :giggle:
 
I am ways hiding from my mom side of the family that are IRish,, I guess offically it makes me an Irish mutt lol
 
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