Irish short joke :-)

Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Barty called " Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?
 
:giggle::giggle:


Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have...Why d'ye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...'tis too good to part with."
 
LOL,, good one,, here another one!

Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years. After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat "We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor? Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave." Pat replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend. But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?"

:giggle: lol
 
:lol::lol:

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Walking into the pub, Patrick said to the bartender,
"Pour me a stiff one, Sean. I just had another tiff with
the little woman."
"Oh yeah," said Sean. "And how did this one end?"
"Well I'll tell ya now when it was over," Patrick replied, "herself came to me on her hands and knees, she did."
"You don't say? Now that`s a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under that bed, you
gutless weasel!
 
LOL LOL good one!

Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away. She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died."

The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words at no charge. Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary:
"Pete died. Boat for sale" ha ha
 
Phoar! :lol::lol:

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What did St Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?
“Are ye all right in the back, lads?”
 
LOL, Good one!

___________________________________

Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

A: Patty O'Furniture!


:giggle:
 
:giggle::giggle:

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Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

To a different pub.
 
LOL good one!

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Q. Did you hear about the Irishman born with two left feet?

A. He went out one day to buy some Flip Flips... :giggle:
 
:rofl::rofl: Loved that one!

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Q: What do you call a mix of an Asian and an Irishman?
A: A rice paddy.


:giggle::giggle:
 
Ozzie said:
:rofl::rofl: Loved that one!

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Q: What do you call a mix of an Asian and an Irishman?
A: A rice paddy.


:giggle::giggle:
Click to expand...

lol Now that interesting now I can picture that in my head LOL


here another one!

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Q: How do you brainwash an Irishman?

A: Pee in his wellies
:giggle:
 
:lol: Ah, yuk!

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Q. How do you sink an Irish submarine?
A. Knock on the hatch

:lol:
 
Mmm let me think here ,,,


Irish ,, irish men mmm or women... here one!

Q. What is Irish diplomacy?

A. It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip.
"snickering" heee
 
:giggle::giggle: good one -

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Two Irish pilots approaching the runway.
Paddy says to Murphy “Christ, Murphy!! This runway’s a bit short!”
And Murphy says “I know, and look how feckin’ wide it is!!” :run:
 
Ozzie said:
:giggle::giggle: good one -

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Two Irish pilots approaching the runway.
Paddy says to Murphy “Christ, Murphy!! This runway’s a bit short!”
And Murphy says “I know, and look how feckin’ wide it is!!” :run:
Click to expand...

LOL good one ! ha ha

Have you heard about the Kerryman who damaged his health by drinking milk?


The cow fell on him! lol
 
ROFLOL - loved that

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An Irishman went to London and found himself in the Underground late one night. Seeing a notice "DOGS MUST BE CARRIED ON THE ESCALATOR", he moaned to himself, "And where am I going to find a dog at this hour of the night?"

:giggle:
 
lol good one!

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Two Irishmen are in the Wild West. They enter Dodge City and notice a sign in a shop saying 'Indian scalps-$10 each.' They enter the shop and are given a rifle, ammunition and told that for every Indian scalp they bring back they will get $10.

So they go out into the desert and hide behind a rock beside an oasis in the hope that an Indian would come to drink. Sure enough, 10 minutes later a brave approaches on his horse and gets down to drink. Paddy shoots the Indian and goes over to scalp him.

Just as Paddy gets out his knife, Murphy looks up and sees up and sees Chief Geronimo and his 100,000 braves on a ridge. "Don't look now" says Murphy, "But we are about to become millionaires!"
 
:lol::lol: I haven't heard that one -

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Q. How do you get a one-armed Irishman down from a tree?
A. Wave to him


:giggle:
 
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