In the Middle

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RainGurl

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I am so frustrated.
We had our littlest daughters' play last Friday.
My grandmother (my dad's mom) came. my mom said
she wanted to go, I told her not a big deal. She didn't call me
to let me know that she was coming. She ended up coming.
It made it very uncomfortable for me. I didnt talk hardly at all.
My hub was standing behind me, while I sat with my grandmother and
watched the play in the classroom. My mother just told me tonight that I disrepected her, and barely acknowledged her. I get paralyised with uncomfortableness. So I don't talk to anyone. What should I have done?
I told her from now on, to avoid it, she should not come if my grandmother is coming. My grandmother cannot stand my mother. She wishes not to speak or see her.

Help, suggestions?
 
To be honest, I can't blame your mom for feeling this way, I mean she wants to be there to see her granddaughter perform in a school play, and she is feeling that she is not welcome there just because your grandmother doesn't get along with your mom, your mom has every right to be part of your daughter's life after all its her granddaughter ....Your grandmother has to learn that nothing will stop your mother for being there for her granddaughter, and if you do not want to be put in the middle you need to stand up and tell your grandmother that she should leave her problems at home and get along with your mom for the sake of your daughter and you do not want to see any problems going on in front of her....
 
:dunno: She is set in her way.
She 78 years old, she isn't going to change.
I find the only way to keep the peace is invite them
one play and then invite the other another.
Sad, but has to be. I don't want fights to break out. As much as I try
and stick up for both of them. They see it as I am just being "disrespectful."

I can't win. :dunno:
 
Oh, boy what an uncomfortable situation to be in. Please don't tell me which lady wears Army boots, lol. Sorry, just wanted to add a little levity to an uncomfortable situation. Hang in there.
 
Heart2Sign said:
:dunno: She is set in her way.
She 78 years old, she isn't going to change.
I find the only way to keep the peace is invite them
one play and then invite the other another.
Sad, but has to be. I don't want fights to break out. As much as I try
and stick up for both of them. They see it as I am just being "disrespectful."

I can't win. :dunno:
Click to expand...


I can understand that hon, it must be hard being in that situation, when you try to please one and the other one ends up getting hurt, and I do hope those two will make peace within each others again and it's never too late to try either....;)
 
Well, I think your mother has no right to make you feel uncomfortable and being middle because of your grandmother's visit.

You doing right to let your mother know that your grandmother is coming but your mother disrespect you because you already informed her about your Grandmother's visit but she choose to ignore you and come to make you feel uncomfortable...

I would suggest you to have a nice talk with your mother and your grandmother in separately way or write each letter to them in friendly way telling them how you feel because you love them both. Let them know it's unfair of you feel being middle between them if they both want to visit to see you on the same time. (Remember, your mother and your grandmother are adult to know how behave like adult and respect for your and your family's sake, instead of think about themselves and enemy each other).
 
Thanks guys, you are such aesome people.
I am trying my best. I have talked to them both but
all of a sudden they just abandon everything that
we talked about and still end up acting that way.

I just love them as they are. And yes hopefully they
will make peace one day.
 
I think I get your picture but I am not gonna to pry your private info farther.

Just tell your mother that it is very vital to invite your grandmother for your daughter's play. As you mentioned a classroom not auditorium, your mother should not come because of limited seats.

Your grandmother is so lucky that she witnessed her great granddaughters so joyfully. My kids have never met their great grandparents.

Just tell your mother that she should have respected your grandmother first and she need to be stop being so selfish lady.

Methinks that you may try to write to Ask Amy. You may be lucky if she responsed your letter. Please cut the article and give it to your mother. :mrgreen:
 
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