I'm NOT flirting with you, I'm lipreading you, fool!

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AngryHOHwoman

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I am SO SICK AND TIRED of normal hearing people totally mistaking lipreading for FLIRTING! It's happened over and over again, and causes so many problems!

I wrote a long post on it, and would really like to hear what you have to say. Please check it out here:

Angry Hard of Hearing Woman

Please comment on the blog so the people I need to email it to can see that it's a common occurrence, ok?
 
I read you post, but no where in it did you ever confirm your suspicions that they thought you were flirting because u were staring. did you actually confirm this with them? by actually asking them directly? if not It seems a bit far fetched
 
Well HardHOHwoman: From my SpeechReading classes at Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto 1992 to 2006 it was never discussed that Speechreading can be interpreted as flirting. Over the years no one has mentioned this to me-even though I have "practiced" Speechreading many times when Implant disconnected.

I have read your blog- I am not concerned as such that I have "missed" sermons for the last 40 years- even though I have an Implant-for the last 5 years. I am bilateral DEAF,

I am a few years older than you and do go to "singles dances".

Welcome to Alldeaf.com
 
Many hearing people are "uncomfortable" by having their lips read......for a number of reasons is my guess....Could it be the intense staring at someone while you are reading their lips make them feel as if you're flirting? Possiblly so...altho' I've never been confronted/accused of flirting while reading anyone's lips....Seems to me that the hearing person should realize that you have to stare/look at his lips in order to know what he is saying....For those hearing that feel it's "flirting" ...maybe it's just ignorance on their part.

I remember at one time, I had an "eye twitch"...:giggle:...and the hearing person asked me..."why do you keep winking at me"?...
 
soutthpaw - Tony's angry reaction when I told him I knew he was married pretty much confirmed it, though I didn't see it at the time. Their body language kept getting more and more "uncomfortable." I've had to tell customers that I'm hard of hearing when it became evident that my lipreading was bothering them, and they visibly relaxed after that.

Bottesini - I'm not late-deafened. I was born HOH, but it wasn't diagnosed until I was a preteen. As I get older, my hearing gets worse.

drphil - Thanks for the welcome. :) Like I wrote in my blog, in the past, I have had to tell people that I was lipreading them, NOT flirting, and their response was always, "Oh, ok." and their body language changed.
 
If there are problems, try to run along and have fun. Tell the people at Church that you got a turbocharger on motorcycle, sat idled on the motorcycle, and revved it up and it was so loud that you lost your hearing. Ya know now, I cannot hear, I need to look at you to read lips. Can you forgive me?? Try that line the next time.
 
You could be standing very close to them and your eyes are totally focused on their lips, which usually looks like you can't wait to kiss them. When I read lips, I need to be at least 3 feet away so I can see the whole torso, which is included in lipreading. I cannot stand it when people, even gorgeous women, stand so close to me while carrying a conversation.

If women are going to be close to me, they better be ready for some action. :naughty:
 
I went to a meeting was lipreading & a woman got cross with me from staring at her & had a right go. She knew I was Deaf but didn't care told me to leave. She got asked to shut up or leave!! Take care luv Juliexx
 
green427 said:
You could be standing very close to them and your eyes are totally focused on their lips, which usually looks like you can't wait to kiss them. When I read lips, I need to be at least 3 feet away so I can see the whole torso, which is included in lipreading. I cannot stand it when people, even gorgeous women, stand so close to me while carrying a conversation.

If women are going to be close to me, they better be ready for some action. :naughty:
Click to expand...
yep.
body language is a huge factor. when some one is close that usually means interested.
 
OP, I've never come across this myself. Although there have been women who have jumped the gun and thought I would ask them out, I don't believe it has to do with me staring at them.

You say your overweight and not hot, but perhaps the men don't see it that way. In addition, most men don't get the, "Total Attention" of a woman instantly so they may take it that way.

I do agree we are a separate society, but I can't say we are invisible given what we have to put up with in the hearing world.
 
Actually, even tho' I'm deaf, at times I do get "uncomfortable" whenever someone is staring at me....But if I'm holding a conversation with a hearie, I don't stare intensely at them, I move my eyes away at times. We deafies do hear with our eyes, but to stare intensely at someone could be taken the wrong way....as if you're interested and find that person attractive....And I agree, with one poster to stand back a little, and avoid any "touching", such as their hand, arm, etc. And when your're staring/lip-reading someone at a distance, whom you are not actually in a conversation with, it also makes the person uncomfortable, or thinking....he/she keeps staring at me! ...gives them the impression that you find them interesting.....
 
AngryHOHwoman said:
soutthpaw - Tony's angry reaction when I told him I knew he was married pretty much confirmed it, though I didn't see it at the time. Their body language kept getting more and more "uncomfortable." I've had to tell customers that I'm hard of hearing when it became evident that my lipreading was bothering them, and they visibly relaxed after that.

Bottesini - I'm not late-deafened. I was born HOH, but it wasn't diagnosed until I was a preteen. As I get older, my hearing gets worse.

drphil - Thanks for the welcome. :) Like I wrote in my blog, in the past, I have had to tell people that I was lipreading them, NOT flirting, and their response was always, "Oh, ok." and their body language changed.
Click to expand...

I don't buy your story as you have not confirmed that this was the reason for their actions and behavior. If you ever do ask them drectly then post back their answer,
 
I look at hearing to see me as if I'm alien.

I'm being polite and point my ear - me no english! Watch me dance!
 
well women have told me i look like i want to kiss them cus i read their lips. (usually i do end up kissing them)
 
Reading the various comments above should show the multiple different responses to the "same situation".
Good news indeed!
 
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