I'm not even sure if this is where this post belongs but....

AurorasLight

AurorasLight

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I had to tell people that might understand. Today I got a text from my mother. It said "OMG! She is killing me with this "Deaf" thing! I hope she's not on her way to an Academy Award..." All I could think to do was reply with "Gee, thanks Mom!" She came running into the room flipping the light on and off to get my attention and mouthing "What? What?" I showed her the text I just received and she expects me to believe that her phone was hacked and someone else sent me that text from her number. I didn't lose my ability to tell when someone is lying to me. I'm not sure what made me more upset: Her sending that to me on accident or her lying to me about it. UGH! People! Sorry to complain but it had to be done.
 
Well, that's not cool. Seriously. Was your mother trying to send the message to someone else, but she accidently sent it to you instead? Either way, I can see why you're upset. I would be, too.

People have done that to me before. They talk about me nasty behind my back all the time. :gossip: But sometimes, they accidently send their mean messages TO me - when they were intended for all eyes EXCEPT for mine.

:hug:
 
Seems ur mother, who is hearing....is becoming overwhelmed with the communication issue....is she trying to learn ASL?....

Many people say...OMG...ASL is so hard!

And feel sure ur Mother didn't mean anything bad towards you!..Perhaps she was texting somebody else (or thought she was), trying to convey how hard it was to communicate with you....Hope you both can make up, have a good long talk about how each other feels, get ur mother's input about it all and her struggle to talk to you, along with ur input also....hoping you both can make a compromise in the situation! Good Luck.
 
AurorasLight said:
I had to tell people that might understand. Today I got a text from my mother. It said "OMG! She is killing me with this "Deaf" thing! I hope she's not on her way to an Academy Award..." All I could think to do was reply with "Gee, thanks Mom!" She came running into the room flipping the light on and off to get my attention and mouthing "What? What?" I showed her the text I just received and she expects me to believe that her phone was hacked and someone else sent me that text from her number. I didn't lose my ability to tell when someone is lying to me. I'm not sure what made me more upset: Her sending that to me on accident or her lying to me about it. UGH! People! Sorry to complain but it had to be done.
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Have you been evaluated for the cause of the acquired deafness?

Do you have a professional who could speak to your mother about the implications and what it means in your life and future?
 
rockin'robin said:
Seems ur mother, who is hearing....is becoming overwhelmed with the communication issue....is she trying to learn ASL?....

Many people say...OMG...ASL is so hard!

And feel sure ur Mother didn't mean anything bad towards you!..Perhaps she was texting somebody else (or thought she was), trying to convey how hard it was to communicate with you....Hope you both can make up, have a good long talk about how each other feels, get ur mother's input about it all and her struggle to talk to you, along with ur input also....hoping you both can make a compromise in the situation! Good Luck.
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I agree. Maybe, AurorasLight, a good "sit down" using whatever tools work for both of you, to talk it out? I have found until I exposed DH to my struggles, dragged him to my ASL classes & lip reading classes :P, and I'm just HOH, not Deaf, he really had no clue and could get impatient about my reminding him all the time about what I need. Now, he's my best advocate when we're out and about somewhere and he knows I'm having difficulties. Or even just at home, the two of us, and I don't understand something he said to me... He remembers on his own more now what to do (come into the same room, face me, etc.) because he knows others who are like me, through our classes, etc., and has heard their stories of frustration, too. I think "Hearies" don't always know what it takes for those who are Deaf or HOH, to understand what is being said, and to be able to communicate. Those who love us also get frustrated, just like we can, especially when they aren't fully aware of what tools *they* can use, too, and that communication is a two-way job.

I hope you can resolve this with your mom so you aren't alienated from each other. :grouphug:
 
When I was young and could still hear well in one ear, my mom used to talk to me in a whispered voice to get me to wear a hearing aid. I would ask her why she is whispering and whisper back at her, she would be pissed that it didn't work. *shrug*

Today, even in her eighties, she still pulls stunts like this only now it is to get me to wear an implant.

People lie, it's what they do, don't take it personally.
 
AurorasLight said:
Today I got a text from my mother. It said "OMG! She is killing me with this "Deaf" thing! I hope she's not on her way to an Academy Award..."
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Sorry if this is obvious, but what does the bolded part mean? I've been trying to figure that out. Does she mean that you're a good actress or something? *confused* :dunno:
 
MintyOreo said:
Sorry if this is obvious, but what does the bolded part mean? I've been trying to figure that out. Does she mean that you're a good actress or something? *confused* :dunno:
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a good actress, play it up, being theatrical and so on.
 
Hey, I wish someone would tell me that I'm on my way to an Academy award. You're sooo lucky to be think highly like that by your Mom.
 
Saying that was my mothers way of saying that I'm faking my hearing issues. I do have a doctor that can speak to her about it but she's always too "busy" to listen. She's picked up a few signs but it's only because I use them a lot.
 
I want to slap your mother.

Sounds like she is just not comfortable with your decision to "go all the way" with your deafness. For one thing, she probably resents the extra communication difficulties and the hard work that comes with learning sign, and thinks you should just figure out how to communicate with her "the old way" regardless of "the deaf thing". Hearing people can be surprisingly dense sometimes, some of them just seriously don't get it, and probably won't ever get it unless they somehow go deaf themselves for a while.

The fact that cochlear implants have been in the news so much lately, along with those damned viral videos going around making them look better than they really are, doesn't help matters. All hearing people see thanks to that is that cochlear implants are a nice quick fix. They don't see that there is more to it than that. And so when someone who has gone deaf doesn't jump all over getting cochlear implants or just flat out chooses to become Deaf (as in culturally, not just physically), it is seen as a "stupid" decision by them, something that you don't HAVE to do, that you just WANT to do (which is true, BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT) and therefore you are selfish for bringing this difficulty into their lives (FALSE) and so on and such.

I know a late-deafened girl whose mother was talking to a friend of hers. This friend of the mother's was talking about how annoyed she was that her white son was adopting the hip hop culture. The late-deafened girl's hearing sister overhead this conversation, and the late-deafened girl's mom replied to her friend with "Yeah, my daughter is doing the same thing with this deafness crap. She just wants to be different because she thinks it makes her special."

You're not alone. Don't mind the attitude or feel bad about anything you decide regarding your deafness... there are no wrong decisions in this aspect. Even if you chose to never speak again and only sign, and refuse to talk to anyone that didn't sign, you wouldn't be wrong for doing so... you would be making things harder than they needed to be. But you wouldn't be WRONG.
 
get your mom to speak with a counselor, there you both can hopefully work things out. she really needs to become understanding.
 
Lily7 said:
I want to slap your mother.
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AMEN!!! *:slap: your mother*

This makes me SO MAD, because my mother has the exact same attitude towards me. I guess the audiograms that prove that I AM :deaf: aren't good enough for her. :roll:

It's probably very hard for your mother to accept that one day, you were hearing, and now, you're deaf. There's a certain shock factor that comes with it, I'm sure. (I can't speak from a mother's perspective because I am not a mother. However, it's pretty obvious how a mother would feel about her child suddenly becoming deaf.) Still, your mother needs to be more supportive of you. I know it's hard for her, and I know that it's a shock. But she shouldn't be treating you this way. Speaking from experience, it WILL affect you. (Unless you're a really tough cookie.)
 
Lily7 said:
Sounds like she is just not comfortable with your decision to "go all the way" with your deafness. For one thing, she probably resents the extra communication difficulties and the hard work that comes with learning sign, and thinks you should just figure out how to communicate with her "the old way" regardless of "the deaf thing". Hearing people can be surprisingly dense sometimes, some of them just seriously don't get it, and probably won't ever get it unless they somehow go deaf themselves for a while.

The fact that cochlear implants have been in the news so much lately, along with those damned viral videos going around making them look better than they really are, doesn't help matters. All hearing people see thanks to that is that cochlear implants are a nice quick fix. They don't see that there is more to it than that. And so when someone who has gone deaf doesn't jump all over getting cochlear implants or just flat out chooses to become Deaf (as in culturally, not just physically), it is seen as a "stupid" decision by them, something that you don't HAVE to do, that you just WANT to do (which is true, BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT) and therefore you are selfish for bringing this difficulty into their lives (FALSE) and so on and such.

I know a late-deafened girl whose mother was talking to a friend of hers. This friend of the mother's was talking about how annoyed she was that her white son was adopting the hip hop culture. The late-deafened girl's hearing sister overhead this conversation, and the late-deafened girl's mom replied to her friend with "Yeah, my daughter is doing the same thing with this deafness crap. She just wants to be different because she thinks it makes her special."

You're not alone. Don't mind the attitude or feel bad about anything you decide regarding your deafness... there are no wrong decisions in this aspect. Even if you chose to never speak again and only sign, and refuse to talk to anyone that didn't sign, you wouldn't be wrong for doing so... you would be making things harder than they needed to be. But you wouldn't be WRONG.
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The voice of reason!!! YEAH!!! Listen to her, she's got it right.

I honestly can't top that. Just remember that you've got us here, cheering you on. We support you with whatever you choose to do. :hug:

It's okay to be okay with being :deaf:. There's nothing wrong with that. Furthermore, it's okay to be PROUD to be :deaf:! There's nothing wrong with that, either!
 
parental denial drama is assine and unfortunately common.


families are the ultimate source for continuous tragic stupidity, I find them entertaining, but hey I'm known to be nuts
giggle.gif
 
I am so sorry. Your mother is totally out of line. It might help you feel slightly better to remember that all of us vent at times when we are frustrated and we say things we do not mean, and things we should not have said and will be ashamed of later. I'm saying that for you, not to make excuses for your mom. She is, again, TOTALLY, out of line.

If you haven't deleted that text, don't. Show it to your doctor or to a counselor who can insist that your mother get help.
 
Lily7 said:
I want to slap your mother.

Sounds like she is just not comfortable with your decision to "go all the way" with your deafness. For one thing, she probably resents the extra communication difficulties and the hard work that comes with learning sign, and thinks you should just figure out how to communicate with her "the old way" regardless of "the deaf thing". Hearing people can be surprisingly dense sometimes, some of them just seriously don't get it, and probably won't ever get it unless they somehow go deaf themselves for a while.

The fact that cochlear implants have been in the news so much lately, along with those damned viral videos going around making them look better than they really are, doesn't help matters. All hearing people see thanks to that is that cochlear implants are a nice quick fix. They don't see that there is more to it than that. And so when someone who has gone deaf doesn't jump all over getting cochlear implants or just flat out chooses to become Deaf (as in culturally, not just physically), it is seen as a "stupid" decision by them, something that you don't HAVE to do, that you just WANT to do (which is true, BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT) and therefore you are selfish for bringing this difficulty into their lives (FALSE) and so on and such.

I know a late-deafened girl whose mother was talking to a friend of hers. This friend of the mother's was talking about how annoyed she was that her white son was adopting the hip hop culture. The late-deafened girl's hearing sister overhead this conversation, and the late-deafened girl's mom replied to her friend with "Yeah, my daughter is doing the same thing with this deafness crap. She just wants to be different because she thinks it makes her special."

You're not alone. Don't mind the attitude or feel bad about anything you decide regarding your deafness... there are no wrong decisions in this aspect. Even if you chose to never speak again and only sign, and refuse to talk to anyone that didn't sign, you wouldn't be wrong for doing so... you would be making things harder than they needed to be. But you wouldn't be WRONG.
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I agree with you (in the bold words i edited) I was talking to my friend yesterday about how i was frustrated with my parents about something. She's hearing. She knows very little about CI's. and then all of a sudden she says this: convo.jpg convo2.jpg And the way she said That's why i have implants.. it made me mad because after being my friend for 4 years she should know by know that my CI's doesn't give me perfect hearing. Everybody thinks the CI's are a quick fix, and a way towards perfection. I even asked her if she noticed that i have a hard time understanding people on the phone. (I rarely use the phone) she just said yeah but i don't think she really cares either. so whatever.
 
refusing to accept a disability

I did have the problem when i had 2 religious girlfriends. They thought I was just making up my hearing loss. The first one sometimes thought I was being punished for not "believing". I got rid of the first one and the second one left me. If you want to save your relationship with your mother, try to find out why she doesn't accept your hearing loss.
 
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