I have normal hearing, but I met this girl...

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bigsilk

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So, I thought I'd try to get a little more connected with her world, try to find out some things before asking sensitive questions, find imaginative ways to communicate, stuff.
 
Well, just read a lot of posts on this site. Ya will learn a lot of stuff here.
 
Communication method is important, keep in mind her tolerance for open minded comments, some are more sensitive than others.
 
If you ask her about her deafness. Don't have a deer in headlights look about it, or any weird face. Deaf and Hard of Hearing people read body language much better than hearing people do. Start off with written communication.
 
That's so cute that you want to learn more! My stepdad met a deaf girl a long time ago and he had a huge crush on her so he learned sign language.
You should just ask her questions! I'm sure she would be happy to answer them for you :)
 
Wirelessly posted

softabak said:
That's so cute that you want to learn more! My stepdad met a deaf girl a long time ago and he had a huge crush on her so he learned sign language.
You should just ask her questions! I'm sure she would be happy to answer them for you :)
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hi., ans
 
It's tough. When you first meet someone, there's this yearn to fire questions back and forth, and answers. When, "Did you lose your bandanna?" turns into, "This young loom is a banana," things get weird.

She does speak, and has a good conversational volume. But when it's late or we have a couple of drinks, it gets a little more difficult. For both of us.

I'm looking to technology to figure some of it out. Things like talk to text and simply typing out a word or two on my cell and showing it to her makes things easier. She doesn't know ASL, and has a hard time with lip reading. Yet, somehow we're figuring it out, so far.

I don't believe she's come to grips with being HI, yet it's a lifelong affliction. She wants more to be able to hear than simply communicate.

I hope we can figure it out.
 
softabak said:
That's so cute that you want to learn more! My stepdad met a deaf girl a long time ago and he had a huge crush on her so he learned sign language.
You should just ask her questions! I'm sure she would be happy to answer them for you :)
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Sweet of you to say, but I'm a grown man, and she's a grown woman. This is just humans being humans. Just trying to survive and, especially, thrive.
 
bigsilk said:
So, I thought I'd try to get a little more connected with her world, try to find out some things before asking sensitive questions, find imaginative ways to communicate, stuff.
Click to expand...

If you are an adult, and she is just a girl, as you first mention, I'd be a bit careful -- maybe talk with her parents first if you have questions -- I know my daughter has been warned about talking with strangers. They will let you know her preferred communication method.

Otherwise, if she's old enough to write, or is a grown woman, notes are an easy way to communicate. Or follow her lead -- how is she interacting with others? Maybe she has HAs on and can pick up speech sounds, maybe she speechreads those who can't use sign, maybe she uses sign ... How do you usually strike up conversations with women?
 
GrendelQ said:
If you are an adult, and she is just a girl, as you first mention, I'd be a bit careful -- maybe talk with her parents first if you have questions -- I know my daughter has been warned about talking with strangers. They will let you know her preferred communication method.

Otherwise, if she's old enough to write, or is a grown woman, notes are an easy way to communicate. Or follow her lead -- how is she interacting with others? Maybe she has HAs on and can pick up speech sounds, maybe she speechreads those who can't use sign, maybe she uses sign ... How do you usually strike up conversations with women?
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The OP said she is a woman so there is no need to talk to the parents . And if the OP was an adult and she was a girl I would not think it would wise to talk to her parents , I would think they call the cops!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
The OP said she is a woman so there is no need to talk to the parents . And if the OP was an adult and she was a girl I would not think it would wise to talk to her parents , I would think they call the cops!
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The OP initially said (see title of this thread) "I have normal hearing, but I met this girl..." and then later said he was a grown up. So I answered with options for both possibilities, one answer if she's a girl, one if she's an adult.
 
Well I can say that my husband is hearing and I'm more or less completely deaf. I told him upfront that I was and I'm an open person so I don't mind questions but some are more sensitive than others. My suggestion would be to ask her if she minded you asking some questions so that you can get to know what her world is like for her. For instance my husband asked me how I communicated if it was by SL (we met online and then met in person a couple of days later) lip reading or some hearing and what was most comfortable for me. I told him I could read lips and hear some that I did know SL but didn't use it that often. (as we got to know one another though he did learn SL because he felt it was important) Writing is always a great way but trying to sign like charades can be fun too...so long she isn't sensitive and understands that you are NOT making fun of her just trying to connect. When my husband was trying to learn SL and he didn't know a sign he would try to charade it out...and we had the best time with that...we would laugh and laugh. Good memories. Now that my hearing has gotten worse we do sign more often. But just find out what she is comfortable with and let her know you are very interested in getting to know her and understand her. :) I think it's great that you are doing this, a lot of people wouldn't.
 
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