How To Speak About Men and Women and Be Politically Correct !!

C

Cookie Monster

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OK, here's how to speak about men and be politically correct ...

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's no t his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE!"


OK, what's fair is fair so here's how to speak about women and still be politically correct ...

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

:lol:
 
:rofl: Funny Patty Thanks for sharing with us. ;)
 
But but but but... I didn't post that joke!!! Chris did! True biz, I'm so lucky to have Chris!

Nowww, Chris you can't say that I nag at you, I'm verbally repetitive! :nana:
 
Hi Cookie Monster... I don't care much for the politically correct stuff and when I read that I thought that was the dumbest thing I have ever read coming from the liberal agenda. I am not even laughing. FYI ...liberal guys are wuss bags and conservative guys are tough ass kickin' guys which women like much better than liberal wussbags who have a need of long terminology in their language and think that they are intelligent writers and liberals have absoutely NO COMMONSENSE !!!!!!!!!!!
 
Heath said:
Hi Cookie Monster... I don't care much for the politically correct stuff and when I read that I thought that was the dumbest thing I have ever read coming from the liberal agenda. I am not even laughing. FYI ...liberal guys are wuss bags and conservative guys are tough ass kickin' guys which women like much better than liberal wussbags who have a need of long terminology in their language and think that they are intelligent writers and liberals have absoutely NO COMMONSENSE !!!!!!!!!!!
I think you are in wrong section
 
Ahhh see why I love my other 1/2 of the Cookie Monster!! :giggle:

Ohhh Brucey, I totally concur with you!! :kiss:
 
Well, you know, as titteringly cutsie those were and apropos being in the Jokes section and all, I think there's something to be said for not sugar-coating stuff.
But, hey, don't mind me; carry on! :fingersx:
 
Tousi said:
Well, you know, as titteringly cutsie those were and apropos being in the Jokes section and all, I think there's something to be said for not sugar-coating stuff.
But, hey, don't mind me; carry on! :fingersx:

:nana: 2C!!
 
Dang, ole Tous in the wrong century again, eh?
Look, he's throwing his freakin' jacket over the puddle for you to step on.
Ain't that hell?
 
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