Berry
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- Nov 19, 2006
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How dumb can you get?
Costello of Bud Abbot and Lou Costello would reply, “How dumb do you want me to be?”
Forrest Gump would have said, “Dumb is as dumb does.”
My first sensei would have said, “None of us are as smart as we want to be and those that are are satisfied with very little.”
My mother said, “Dumb is a fine old Anglo-Saxon word that meant “unable to speak” for 2000 years. Now the Germans come over here and tell us it means “stupid”. What makes them experts on our language or on deaf people?”
The following story must have a point, but for the life if me I can't swear just what it is; but it has a twisted, dark humor that appeals to me, and I think is worth sharing.
I load boxcars, vans, pigs, containers, and trucks that ship our product (Fruit Cocktail) all over the world. I tell people I work at the anal end of the cannery. They process it in the front end and I ship it out the back end.
Some years ago every truck driver I met was a cowboy, or at least they claimed they were: now they are mostly immigrants (some of them come from countries I never heard of before) A large portion of which are East Indians.
East Indians are amazing in at least one respect. I don't think I ever met one who didn't speak at least three languages.
One day an East Indian finishes his conversation in Punjabi and speaks to me in almost unaccented English to ask about his load. When we are done a Mexican friend of mine speaks to me in Spanish. The East Indian joins in and his Spanish is as good as my Mexican friend's.
So I ask, “How many languages can you speak?”
“I am fluent in five. I can have a conversation in eight. I know some words in other languages but not enough to talk.”
I told him my usual: I speak four languages: English, Spanish, Sign Language, and my native tongue; Profanity.
In five minutes we struck up a deal. Each time he came to my dock he would teach me some Punjabi and I would teach him some ASL. That sounded like one heck of a good deal to me.
The next truck to be loaded was driven by a typical WASP (white, anglo-Saxon, Protestant) American.
I said, “Can you imagine that. Man knows eight languages and he wants to learn one more.”
The new truck driver looked at me in total disgust and replied, “Mike, What do you expect out of a dumbass raghead?”
Costello of Bud Abbot and Lou Costello would reply, “How dumb do you want me to be?”
Forrest Gump would have said, “Dumb is as dumb does.”
My first sensei would have said, “None of us are as smart as we want to be and those that are are satisfied with very little.”
My mother said, “Dumb is a fine old Anglo-Saxon word that meant “unable to speak” for 2000 years. Now the Germans come over here and tell us it means “stupid”. What makes them experts on our language or on deaf people?”
The following story must have a point, but for the life if me I can't swear just what it is; but it has a twisted, dark humor that appeals to me, and I think is worth sharing.
I load boxcars, vans, pigs, containers, and trucks that ship our product (Fruit Cocktail) all over the world. I tell people I work at the anal end of the cannery. They process it in the front end and I ship it out the back end.
Some years ago every truck driver I met was a cowboy, or at least they claimed they were: now they are mostly immigrants (some of them come from countries I never heard of before) A large portion of which are East Indians.
East Indians are amazing in at least one respect. I don't think I ever met one who didn't speak at least three languages.
One day an East Indian finishes his conversation in Punjabi and speaks to me in almost unaccented English to ask about his load. When we are done a Mexican friend of mine speaks to me in Spanish. The East Indian joins in and his Spanish is as good as my Mexican friend's.
So I ask, “How many languages can you speak?”
“I am fluent in five. I can have a conversation in eight. I know some words in other languages but not enough to talk.”
I told him my usual: I speak four languages: English, Spanish, Sign Language, and my native tongue; Profanity.
In five minutes we struck up a deal. Each time he came to my dock he would teach me some Punjabi and I would teach him some ASL. That sounded like one heck of a good deal to me.
The next truck to be loaded was driven by a typical WASP (white, anglo-Saxon, Protestant) American.
I said, “Can you imagine that. Man knows eight languages and he wants to learn one more.”
The new truck driver looked at me in total disgust and replied, “Mike, What do you expect out of a dumbass raghead?”
