how do the differently abled keep from being

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AbbyMeyer

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Doug5 brought this up on a different thread and I would like to know how everyone feels about this and took his suggestion to start a new thread.
 
I don't see a question at all. What are you asking?
 
sorry, I guess the whole quote didn't fit in the title. It was: Another question worthy of a thread is, how do the differently abled keep from being angry and bitter about bad experiences they have with ignorant "normal" people?

Abby
 
AbbyMeyer said:
sorry, I guess the whole quote didn't fit in the title. It was: Another question worthy of a thread is, how do the differently abled keep from being angry and bitter about bad experiences they have with ignorant "normal" people?

Abby
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I think we get just as angry and bitter about bad experiences as you do. I don't know any saints.

I think that is about the only person who would just carry on. All experiences leave their mark.
 
AbbyMeyer said:
sorry, I guess the whole quote didn't fit in the title. It was: Another question worthy of a thread is, how do the differently abled keep from being angry and bitter about bad experiences they have with ignorant "normal" people?

Abby
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I was born with spina bifida and am wheelchair bound and have been my entire life. My life has been spent in and out of hospitals, but I'm not angry, nor bitter.

How do I keep myself from becoming bitter or angry. It's quite simple for me. This is the life I was dealt. I can't change it, so why waste time being bitter about it? I just live my life the best way I can and hope for the best. It's all I can really do.
 
Bottesini said:
I think we get just as angry and bitter about bad experiences as you do. I don't know any saints.

I think that is about the only person who would just carry on. All experiences leave their mark.
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I can understand feeling angry, but why be bitter about circumstances? It does no good.
 
Oceanbreeze,
I used to work with a lady who had spina bifida and she was able to walk but it was a very slow shuffle at best. She never once complained of her situation, even though she couldnt do as much as everyone else, she never stopped trying. Because of her positive attitude, people had more respect for her. She never once asked for pity.
 
Dixie said:
Oceanbreeze,
I used to work with a lady who had spina bifida and she was able to walk but it was a very slow shuffle at best. She never once complained of her situation, even though she couldnt do as much as everyone else, she never stopped trying. Because of her positive attitude, people had more respect for her. She never once asked for pity.
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Exactly. I was able to walk with braces and crutches as a small child. For personal reasons, I gave up the braces/crutches at around the age of 11. Been in the chair since. As I said, I'm not bitter. I have plenty reason to be, but I'm not. I just don't see the use in it. It makes me unhappy. It makes everyone around me unhappy.

It just is wasted in energy in my mind. I'll be brutally honest... Live CAN and DOES suck, sometimes, and yeah I complain... But ONLY when it's warranted. Never have I once said something that I didn't mean or wasn't justifiable given the particular circumstance I was dealing with. Life goes on whether we want it to or not and NOBODY is going to wipe my nose or my butt for me! I gotta do that myself!
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I was born with spina bifida and am wheelchair bound and have been my entire life. My life has been spent in and out of hospitals, but I'm not angry, nor bitter.

How do I keep myself from becoming bitter or angry. It's quite simple for me. This is the life I was dealt. I can't change it, so why waste time being bitter about it? I just live my life the best way I can and hope for the best. It's all I can really do.
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Excellent attitude, OB! :D
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I can understand feeling angry, but why be bitter about circumstances? It does no good.
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The OP's question was not about circumstance we were born with, but about hurtful behavior from ignorant people.
 
Bottesini said:
The OP's question was not about circumstance we were born with, but about hurtful behavior from ignorant people.
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I know that. What I said can also be applied to hurtful behavior as well. Why be bitter about it? We live with hurtful things every day. We can either be bitter about it or not. We can't change how people react to us, but we can change how we react to them. :)
 
I'll never forget something a deafblind woman told me while in training at my local deafblind center. At the time, I was having an extremely difficult time coping with the loss of my hearing. I started to complain about people making negative comments about my inability to hear. She responded by saying, "You have two choices. You can either be upset 24/7/365 days a year about things that go wrong because of your deafblindness or you can learn to accept your disabilities and how others react to them. If you choose to be upset, you're going to be awfully miserable in the process. Now what kind of a life would you prefer to have?" I was told this back in 1995 and it's something I don't think I'll ever forget. Like OB said, these are the cards I've been dealt, so there's no use in complaining about something I can't change. If people choose to act ignorantly towards me, then that's their problem -- not mine. Besides, life is too short to be angered by the stupid things other people do. In addition, I was born prematurely (I weighed 2 pounds at birth and almost died three times), so I consider myself fortunate to be living on G*d's green Earth despite how awful some people in the world may treat me. Aside from that, not all people are bad. Whenever I encounter someone who acts ignorantly towards me, I take a deep breath and stop to think about all of the wonderful, caring and compassionate people I've met in my life. That alone makes the struggles of living with a dual disability so much easier to take.
 
I can't say I never feel angry. I was on a particularly short fuse after my mum died but that has very little to do with being deafblind.

However, I get over it and move on. Life is too short to dwell on things. It's not just something that affects the disabled. I know some non disabled people who spend their whole life angry and bitter.

I think if you look at what you've got and apreciate that instead of looking at what other people have got that you want then it's a good way to live your life. To some people this seems to comes naturally. Other people, like myself, have to work on it.
 
I just accept that there are stupid and ignorant people on this planet and I wont waste my energy being angry or bitter at them for their hurtful remarks. I have so many friends and my family who make my life great! Life is too short to dwell on things like that.
 
You know....I think a lot of "normal" people wrongly assume that our disabilty is an impairment....that is we sit in a corner whining b/c we can't hear/see/walk or whatever. The thing is with physical disabilties, is that there are TONS of ways to adapt to those "differences"
I have never known what it's like to hear. I don't miss it....but I can adapt to it.
 
deafdyke said:
You know....I think a lot of "normal" people wrongly assume that our disabilty is an impairment....that is we sit in a corner whining b/c we can't hear/see/walk or whatever. The thing is with physical disabilties, is that there are TONS of ways to adapt to those "differences"
I have never known what it's like to hear. I don't miss it....but I can adapt to it.
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DD,

If I remember correctly, I thought you had conductive loss that was mild to moderate in one ear and moderate in the other?

By "never knowing what it's like to hear," are you referring to "normal" hearing?
 
Hear Again said:
DD,

If I remember correctly, I thought you had conductive loss that was mild to moderate in one ear and moderate in the other?

By "never knowing what it's like to hear," are you referring to "normal" hearing?
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I wonder that, too. :hmm:
 
By "never knowing what it's like to hear," are you referring to "normal" hearing?
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Precisely! Even people with mild losses don't hear the way a hearing person hears. They hear the way a deaf person hears.
It's like the way a legally blind person can see, but what they see isn't like what sighted people see.
I may just have a conductive loss (and in actually I have a moderately severe loss in my deafer ear)
BUT I don't hear the way a hearing person hears. My hearing is more akin to what a hearing person would think of as vibrotactile.
Also, strangely enough an ABR indicated that I have a profound loss in both ears!
 
deafdyke said:
Precisely! Even people with mild losses don't hear the way a hearing person hears. They hear the way a deaf person hears.
It's like the way a legally blind person can see, but what they see isn't like what sighted people see.
I may just have a conductive loss (and in actually I have a moderately severe loss in my deafer ear)
BUT I don't hear the way a hearing person hears. My hearing is more akin to what a hearing person would think of as vibrotactile.
Also, strangely enough an ABR indicated that I have a profound loss in both ears!
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Oh, okay. Now I understand, DD. Thanks for the explanation.

I wonder how an ABR could indicate that you have a profound loss yet your audiograms do not? Are your hearing aids programmed for a profound loss?

Everyone -- sorry for the off-topic post.
 
I'm Deaf, blind, less-than-neurotypical, and Sick. Yeah, I won some kind of genetic lottery.

The thing is.. the entire world, with very few exceptions, will at first glance think extremely little of me- either that i'm stupid and incapable, or that i'm a tiny brave cripple who deserves praise. Both really piss me off sometimes, and I usually express it when they do.

But the thing is, I have two options in life. I can either say that they're idiots and I'm going to be living my own life, and screw anyone who disagrees.

Or I can curl up, chew in social security, and spend the rest of my life absolutely miserable- because people WILL NOT CHANGE. Deafness and blindness alone make people say stupid things like 'i'd rather die than be x'.. to say nothing of in combination, especially when you throw in my autistic stims that tend to re-enforce the idea that I'm retarded to any observer's eyes.

I choose living over being a miserable and bitter person because, well, it's much nicer. The alternative is empty and it just proves to others that it is all I am capable of being.

I lived for a reason- maybe because I was meant to, maybe because G-ds a sadist. Either way, this is my life and if I love it or not.. nothings going to change. So you ignore the ignorant person who asks your friend what you want to eat, or the one that grabs your arm trying to guide you and ends up nearly tripping you over and definitely scaring the heck out of you.. because the alternative really sucks, and right now, the rest of my life is good.
 
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