How do I help my husband understand?

MCB said:
IMHO, a marriage counselor who is experienced in working with couples having trouble with transitions in their marriages may be your best option.
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I'm with this one. Don't feel ashamed to get help for ou both to sort out the feelings. Texting, writing and lip reading can be very taxing on you that can take a huge toll on your marriage.
My ex-friend who is hard of hearing had been living with her hearing ex-boyfriend for over 20 years. He only knew a few signs and mostly finger spells. He preferred talking to her on the cellphone instead of texting. I was weary of seeing her going, "huh?" over and over. Their sons (one was recently deceased) sign a little too but texting little more than talking on the cellphone after they were fed up with her too many "huhs". Thus, there were a many series of misunderstands. Their relationship had dissolved in overtime (not only communication issues, there were other issues but not important here) She's a bit happier but has hard time getting back into deaf community because of that. But she's trying, I believe.
I implore you both get an appointment with a marriage counselor ASAP. Good Luck. :)
 
well -- I dont want to sound like a downer - but welcome to our world. This is what we face all the time and it sure feels like we been degraded when other dont want to be part of the deaf culture, even if they know about it.

I am in the same camp as getting an counselor to work out the issues.
 
Megan : does your husband's prior difficulty in "learning" alter why his "reluctance" to start "learning ASL" seem "true" to you ?

Was this known to you before?

Also, would seem to change the dynamics on "what" to do in the "near future"
 
I had a very hard time in school. Even now into my mid 30s I can still feel that dread of having to go. For some people it's not easy to forget. One of the reasons I would like to learn ASL is to see if I could. I believe that ASL will fit perfectly with the way my mind works and it would be very satisfying after all the failed foreign language classes in highschool. If he's anything like me he'll feel more comfortable getting familiar with it at home. Maybe some DVDs before talking about taking a class.

I can relate to being intelligent but learning differently. One of the biggest problems with having such a hard time in school is you start to think that your stupid. Even when you grow up and realize you're not the old doubt still come sneaking back in sometimes when you're confronted with something completely outside your comfort zone.
 
I think that he has not told you what the real problem is and that it is something that he thinks may hurt your feelings or somehow shake up how you see him. Or flat out something he does not want to do. Sometimes something that is not such a big deal to one is huge for the other.
There is a reason he is not getting on board. One thing I have seen over and over training guys in my trade is that bullying is something that can effect a person all the way into adulthood. It adds a surprise twist into things that can blindside someone training them one on one. You can be working with a triple tuff guy and accidentally uncover the eight year old that got his ass kicked on the playground for being "dumb" in class. Or wearing glasses or having an odd mannerism that shyness caused when they talked or or or there are lots of things. There is a vulnerability in learning new skills. The world now is a much gentler one to learn in but even with that the human being is not easy.
Communication in general seems to come easier for girls. A whole bunch of us guys had huge struggles that we muddled through however we could. I still struggle with the same things but do a better job of covering up but they are not gone by any means.
 
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