Horoscope

Your Horoscope for today.

The horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped."

Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it. :asshole:
 
nozobo said:
sorry ONG, I'm not royal pain in the butt... At least I was advised not to put gel in my hair... Figure it out lol
Click to expand...


I heard everyone is a royal pain in the butt expect me! w00t :P
 
Haha

YOUR HOROSCOPE



ARIES: You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are basically a prick. You seldom think others are good enough for you so you masturbate a lot.


TAURUS: You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. You have an intense love for whips and chains.


GEMINI: You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap selfish bastard. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.


CANCER: You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. Everyone thinks you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Most Cancers are frigid.


LEO: You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. You arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and get their kicks from sniffing bicycle seats and kissing mirrors.


VIRGO: You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good garbage collectors.


LIBRA: You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent because you are a rip-off. If you are male you are probably queer. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.


SCORPIO: You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve great success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. Scorpio women give good head because they have no morals.


SAGITTARIUS: You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or pot-heads. You are almost always impotent. People laugh as you a lot because you are always getting fucked.


CAPRICORN: You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken-shit. You fear people and relationships. Most Capricorns prefer rubber dolls. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.


AQUARIUS: You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progresive. You lie a great deal. On the other heand, you are inclined to be careless and impratical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.


PISCES: You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI and CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses a lot.


:boink:
 
nozobo said:
Here's horoscope for y'll this week:
Jan 10, 2005
Aquarius (jan 20-feb 19): if you make laps around the parking lot of your local fitness center looking for the close parking spot, you're probably missing the point of going to the gym in the first place.
Pisces (feb 20-march 20): if you're on your first date at a restaurant and your server asked if you would like the soup or salad, it doesn't look good if you thought you were getting a REALLY big salad.
Aries (March 21-April 19): When you're hand-picking your dog's doo with a plastic bag, it really helps if you visualize that you're handling gel ... Just don't apply it to your hair.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): sometimes friends are really helpful, but sometimes they embarrass the crap out of you. Beware.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): it's time to rededicate yourself to a higher purpose. Most likely this will mean you're the person going on the "doughnut run" at the office, but that's OK. It's a good start.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): before you go anywhere today, buy some windshield washer fluid.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22): you could use a breath mint.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22): if you could tame on elk like a horse, you wouldn't need a saddle horn. The antlers would work just fine.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 23): You'll look realy silly if the new person at the office works harder than you do.
Scorpio (Oct 24-Now 22): Drop and give us 20
Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 21): Maybe in past life you were royalty, because now you're a royal pain in the butt!
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): Your radiator isn't stuck, and you don't have a truck. Still, you're headed to the Stock Show.
Click to expand...
Cancer here.. THanks for remind.. but already has...
 
CAPRICORN: You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken-shit. You fear people and relationships. Most Capricorns prefer rubber dolls. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

VERY FUNNY... I ain't going! :P
 
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