HH to Deaf Living with Sensitive Hearing Person

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ShariB

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We have been together many, many years. My hearing is progressively worse. I am told, "Lower your voice." I cannot tell (and haven't for at least 30 years) what my volume is and I tried - bought a DB meter but that didn't work. I can hear my voice.

My partner is noise sensitive.

Obviously, there are a lot of misunderstandings, miscommunications, etc. I cannot answer the phone because of a catastrophic mistake I made in the last couple years.

How do people in similar situations deal with this? I would sincerely appreciate your opinion. Thank you.
 
If you get a complaint about your voice, just don't talk. Let the partner learn to communicate with you in a silent way.
 
Very true. I now have a flashlight by my computer :) and asked her to get my attention first. We're signing more and more but are far from fluent.

Thanks for taking time to offer your opinion.
 
ShariB said:
Very true. I now have a flashlight by my computer :) and asked her to get my attention first.
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ShariB, when I lost my hearing I found myself split between worlds, I accepted that I was not going to understand the hearing family members until they understood me. I stopped talking, it was either sign to me or write me a note, they learned to sign, I think it was because they got tired of writing notes every time. I think I can still talk but I have not for 17 years. Sometimes it is hard in the hearing world, it is not that they do not understand it is just they do not think about the silence we live in. I too was told to lower my voice and I did, to nothing.

Good luck
 
I don't believe most hearing people understand

My mother sent me an article @1996 about deafness/hard of hearing was the invisible disease (something like that). It is. I grew up "hearing" because my father figured out my problems were due to my not being able to hear. He went to Sears (this was @1963 ... really) and bought me a hearing aid.

My speech (except my volume control of my voice) doesn't "show" my loss. A friend now working at Galludet (we met in college, she went home to get a hearing aid because of me) and I exchanged hearing aids and audiograms. We're pretty equal but M sounds deaf. I do not.

Sooo.... people don't get it. I'm trying to educate as I go along. Now I hear from older women, "Ohhhh, my hearing isn't good either." Right - the women have high frequency losses but it's not the same as mine. I now correct them.

I was hospitalized for many, many days some years ago. I took a peek at my chart and saw how ignorant nurses and other people labeled me. I wanted to scream. They were TOLD by my partner I was deaf without my hearing aid. But I was in autopilot and spoke back when spoken to - except I couldn't understand... Long story and a bad one.

I was cautioned by someone who worked there and befriended me (hey, I "helped" him write a school paper - I was bored). He said not to fight how I was being treated, it would only make my life worse. He was right but I don't roll over and had connections. (Good Samaritan Hospital in Suffern, NY - hopefully, this does not break the rules on this forum.) A hospital with trained (?) staff didn't get it!

Sorry about my rant. I appreciate your input, really.
 
ShariB said:
We have been together many, many years. My hearing is progressively worse. I am told, "Lower your voice." I cannot tell (and haven't for at least 30 years) what my volume is and I tried - bought a DB meter but that didn't work. I can hear my voice.

My partner is noise sensitive.

Obviously, there are a lot of misunderstandings, miscommunications, etc. I cannot answer the phone because of a catastrophic mistake I made in the last couple years.

How do people in similar situations deal with this? I would sincerely appreciate your opinion. Thank you.
Click to expand...

My sister is noise sensitive. Everytime she visits, she shuts the bedroom doors - all of them because our TVs are "too loud." (They're set at normal volume). She watches our TV in the living room so low so my mother (with perfectly normal hearing) and anyone interested in the program can't hear or understand it without captions. If I'm watching TV in my room (with the door shut), she comes in and asks me to lower it. Using YouTube and the TV sets her off to one of her "Those of us who can hear" moments. I usually shout back, "What about those of us who can't?" She turns the place into a library, but it feels like a morgue. We can't leave a room without shutting a door. I know my parents want us (my siblings) to be close after they're gone but there's no way in Hell I can live with my sister if it ever came to that. It's really kind of a no win situation. I'm 45 - you'd think after all this time she'd be tipped off that I have trouble hearing...and actually wear two hearing aids.....:jaw:

Laura
 
Let me tell you something....I speak very well and whenever my HA battery died... I tend to talk louder. One day at work, I was talking to someone and all of sudden across the kitchen, one of my secretary waving her hands up high in the air... and she said..."IS YOUR BATTERY DEAD???" I just realized that I was talking too loud....I chuckle a bit...

For me I just couldn't control my volume, whenever my HA died...I just suddenly start to talk louder.... I even try to learn to control my volume...but I just couldn't.
 
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