Gay Deaf-Hearing Relationship: Advice, please?

J

justamsboy

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Hello everyone. I'm a hearing 21 year old homosexual male living in the conservative south, and recently, I met and hit it off with an amazing 23 year old deaf guy online. However, the bad news is he lives over 1000 miles away. Luckily, he only lives 20 minutes from the town that I will be going to graduate school at in Fall 2009. So the situation calls for a long-distance relationship in the meantime while I finish my last year of undergraduate classes. I am taking a trip out to visit the graduate school in August of this year, and I will be there for 20 days where he and I will get to spend time together. He even said that if we feel the long distance not working, he wants to move to where I am to stay with me until I graduate.

Because I am hearing and he is deaf, I know that it will be hard work for both of us. I am currently learning ASL for him, and I plan to know it very well by the time I move to where he is in a year. I even make videos of me signing what I have learned and send it to him, and he loves it. But I know that just learning ASL will not be enough, and I want to be prepared for problems that we may face (minus the ones from being a gay couple). I've already researched a lot about the Deaf Community and their values, and I feel completely comfortable with them.

The reason I posted is because I would like to hear from other hearing-deaf couples or individuals on issues that you faced which you had to overcome, and how I may avoid some of the common roadblocks in those relationships. I've heard mostly discouraging stories of how these relationships just end horribly, and always seemingly because the hearing person just didn't understand. I really care for this person, and I am willing to learn or do whatever is necessary to make it work.

Thanks in advance for your responses.
 
justamsboy said:
I met and hit it off with an amazing 23 year old deaf guy online. However, the bad news is he lives over 1000 miles away. Luckily, he only lives 20 minutes from the town that I will be going to graduate school at in Fall 2009. So the situation calls for a long-distance relationship in the meantime while I finish my last year of undergraduate classes. I am taking a trip out to visit the graduate school in August of this year, and I will be there for 20 days where he and I will get to spend time together. He even said that if we feel the long distance not working, he wants to move to where I am to stay with me until I graduate.
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They do not, truly, know each other. It's a gamble when there's nothing to lose. It's banking when there's vested interest on each side - other than the potential relationship.
 
Yes, we won't truly know each other until we've met and spent time together. I just have a really good feeling about this, and in case the potential relationship buds into more than just a "potential" one, I was just seeking some helpful advice.
 
Wokamuka said:
They do not, truly, know each other. It's a gamble when there's nothing to lose. It's banking when there's vested interest on each side - other than the potential relationship.
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True and yet life is a gamble.
 
But the gamble is what makes life interesting! And the people you meet along the way. I've met quite a few awesome people.
 
I say good luck, you are willing to learn ASL to communicate which is cool. LD relationships are tough I did one with my partner for two years then moved him to where I live. We have been together almost ten years! It can happen if its meant to be, and the gamble is what makes things fun.
 
Hello,

Ive had an experienced of into this stuff, and i think i dont have any advice for you since you keep to learning how to use ASL for him and which is most important to have ASL for communicate.

by the way, break a leg ;]



edit:
I am wondering why dont you 2 use webcam or such video phone instead old fashion that uses in send mails?
 
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