I posted my message on Alz board... hope it makes sense of what is going on,,, here goes ...
"Howdy, I just found out that my father in law has dementia yesterday from his doctor. The doctors are going to send social services, nurses, home assessments, etc to my father in law's house today to give him a full survey/evalcuation to see how severe Alzheimer's he has.
My sister in law thinks he is in category 6, I am not familiar with Alzheimer's as long I am doing reasearches to help my husband and his two oldest sisters to get familiar with the disease. My mother in law is not accepting this every well, since her oldest sister died from this same disease. This disease has ravenged my father in law so fast before our eyes.
We (me and my husband) started to suspect something was wrong with dad by telltaling signs last spring (2004), we finally convinced my husband's two oldest sisters to come and see what is wrong with dad. One sister was willing to move to East Coast from West Coast to help us since we have two boys under age of three which was overwhelming for us to handle this situation alone since my husband's sisters are in west coast and southwest.
So, one sister did move back to East Coast to help us to deal with dad, we persudaed him to go to see a doctor last spring, the dr told dad that he needed an MRI done. Dad refused and did not see a dr until last month (time span is about 6 to 8 months). We finally convinced with struggle/hardships with dad to see another dr for another second opinion. Dr wanted to treat this as depression before proceeding to have a full diagonsis of dementia.
He was given anti-depression pills like two weeks ago, his health deteroiated so fast, he was taken to hospital last week for two days. Right now, he can not personally take care of his personal hygenie (he has to wear depends now), he sleeps all day and all nite, stays in bed, stares off like a zombie, he looks at us like we are imposters.
It is really devasting to see how much he has changed over few months, I think my father in law has the rapid set of disease. I don't know since I have no experience with this disease. Hopefully by today, we will know if dr will put him in assisted living or nursing home or capable of having home services.
He can not drive anymore, he can not walk, he walks like 1 centimeter each step. he gets stuck on the toilet over a hr, we would practically have to pull him off, it is like teaching a child since we have two boys under three, it is so much a like handling a child. We have to change his sheets 24/7 which is a lot of work. Too much for my mother in law to handle this.
we have to take keys away since dr finally gave the orders to dad not to drive anymore. my father in law seems to resist against a lot things when we ask him to do, it makes so difficult. Should we wait until after today and see what the drs think what our father in law needs to be placed? I feel his home is not safe for him anymore since he can not go up or down the stairs, he fell down...my mother in law refused to call 911, she called neighbors instead to help them. I have noticed and we offered mother in law hotline for alzhiemers, she refuses the support or help. it makes it more difficult. We live over 30 miles from where my husband's parents live. But sister lives like a mile away.
I don't know where to start off since I am new to this board, any advices to me how to proceed help for mother in law since we know that she is under big denial right now? We are meeting a lawyer this week or next week for power of attorney and elder law. My father in law's brother is coming down to stay with us to help us out since he is an lawyer himself. Say prayers for us, thanks so much!
KBD"
