Doctors to parents: ‘I’m sorry; your baby is deaf’

Miss-Delectable

Miss-Delectable

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Doctors to parents:

A doctor usually makes the first comments to parents about the condition of their newborn baby’s condition.

The way a doctor shares any concerns that he/she has can have a big effect on how the parents perceive their new baby.

When the newborn is deaf, the doctor often tells the family, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your baby is deaf.”

Such a comment can create a negative image of the baby in the parents’ minds. It conveys the message that the baby is defective. It may precipitate feelings of hopelessness and fear. Sometimes the couple blames each other for the child’s deafness. At times, this may create such a division between the parents that it may endanger their marriage.

While most medical professionals understand the physiological and medical aspects of hearing loss, few comprehend how wonderful life can be for deaf people. There are many successful and accomplished deaf adults, deaf parents loving and raising deaf and hard-of-hearing children, deaf professionals in all lines of work including doctors, lawyers, business owners, teachers, professors, nurses, etc. A parent with a deaf baby can still hope and dream of their child having a life full of friendships, marriage, parenthood, and employment, a hopeful future. While medical professionals generally view deaf babies as abnormal, deaf communities see them as a cause for rejoicing, not condolences.

It’s hard to put an end to old stereotypes. So the unfortunate message parents and their deaf children often receive is that deaf people are limited, disabled, dumb, and cannot, cannot, cannot...

Deaf have repeatedly proven the stereotype to be false. In truth, deaf children CAN, CAN, CAN. There are no limitations. I mentioned in my previous article that I used to enjoy the great philosopher Aristotle’s statements, until he stated that “all deaf people are feeble-minded and unable to reason.”

Now I realize that this quote really applies to Aristotle and not to deaf people. As a matter of fact, deaf children are not limited in their vocation. They have unlimited potential.



Of the Deaf People, By the Deaf people, For the Deaf people
 
Let's see... Where do I start? I'll start by laying out clearly that I am profoundly deaf and was unknown to be deaf until I was 7.5 y-o.

Parents HAVE to know that their child is deaf, and parents need to know that having a deaf child is no walk in the park; go to a seance and ask my parents how much hell I caused them in the early years. The fact, is, the child is deaf, period. The child is going to be limited both socially and economically. Here, read this;

How Inferior American Education Caused The Credit/Real Estate/Sovereign Debt Bubbles and Why It's Preventing True Recovery

Do you see where this is going? Here I am already 45, and I finally have confirmation about my suspicions about society and why I have not advanced in my career or whatever it is.

Fact is, I cannot serve in the military, not even the State Guard (I've tried, just for a desk job or a logistics job out of the theatre of operations). I can't work in emergency services like firefighting, police officers, EMS. I cannot be a commercial pilot. You probably cannot be a ship captain of a cruiseliner at sea, either. This is not covering any jobs that the child might be limited because of hearing politics that strive to keep deaf workers "carved out" of the running for a move up the ladder.

It's not that they can't do it. It's too bad I would not be able to serve state-side, always paired up with a hearing soldier. They would probably be amongst the finest firefighters, most helpful EMS, and staunchest soldiers in the front line, but the reality is, communications is at stake here, especially when it comes to safety arising from a need to be situationally-aware and able to communicate quickly and clearly, especially when lives are at split-second stake.

Be careful not to take Aristotle out of context. You have to understand that people had no idea what was going on then. I believe it wasn't until about 1500 CE that people began to question their beliefs regarding deaf people in Italy and Spain. People had no idea then.

Having said that, I wish there were a lot of things I would be allowed to do, but I've made my peace with that. This particular topic is a huge mixed bag for me, because mixed in is the clashing of political correctness with people's condescension for deaf people (intentional or not).

The question to you then, is how do we deal with this realistically?
 
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Doctors need to stop using "I am sorry.." when informing the parents about their children.
 
I agree that "I'm sorry" shouldn't be part of that statement. It makes it sound like the doctors pity the parents, and thus the parents should pity the child. "Tests have shown that your child has ______ hearing loss" and then relaying options sounds like it'd be the best bet.
 
Even though I love Deaf, I am seeing what you are seeing. I realize myself that we Deaf people actually are missing something so big that every hearing people got for grant.

I watched TV a documentary where born blind guy got eye implant. Yes, this is for real, anyway he got this implant around 40'sh. When he finally sees something, he got freaked out and want go blind. Why? It is because what he saw is not what he had image since birth. He said it was completely different than he thought it was.

After watch this interesting story. I wish I had watch whole show. But this got me thinking. Damn, am I missing something? Mind you, I was born Deaf. I know I might never know what it is like but I am sure it is gonna be interesting.


deafdrummer said:
Let's see... Where do I start? I'll start by laying out clearly that I am profoundly deaf and was unknown to be deaf until I was 7.5 y-o.

Parents HAVE to know that their child is deaf, and parents need to know that having a deaf child is no walk in the park; go to a seance and ask my parents how much hell I caused them in the early years. The fact, is, the child id deaf, period. The child is going to be limited both socially and economically. Here, read this;

How Inferior American Education Caused The Credit/Real Estate/Sovereign Debt Bubbles and Why It's Preventing True Recovery

Do you see where this is going? Here I am already 45, and I finally have confirmation about my suspicions about society and why I have not advanced in my career or whatever it is.

Fact is, I cannot serve in the military, not even the State Guard (I've tried, just for a desk job or a logistics job out of the theatre of operations). I can't work in emergency services like firefighting, police officers, EMS. I cannot be a commercial pilot. You probably cannot be a ship captain of a cruiseliner at sea, either. This is not covering any jobs that the child might be limited because of hearing politics that strive to keep deaf workers "carved out" of the running for a move up the ladder.

It's not that they can't do it. It's too bad I would not be able to serve state-side, always paired up with a hearing soldier. They would probably be amongst the finest firefighters, most helpful EMS, and staunchest soldiers in the front line, but the reality is, communications is at stake here, especially when it comes to safety arising from a need to be situationally-aware and able to communicate quickly and clearly, especially when lives are at split-second stake.

Be careful not to take Aristotle out of context. You have to understand that people had no idea what was going on then. I believe it wasn't until about 1500 CE that people began to question their beliefs regarding deaf people in Italy and Spain. People had no idea then.

Having said that, I wish there were a lot of things I would be allowed to do, but I've made my peace with that. This particular topic is a huge mixed bag for me, because mixed in is the clashing of political correctness with people's condescension for deaf people (intentional or not).

The question to you then, is how do we deal with this realistically?
Click to expand...
 
Well, "sorry" is an horrible thing to say. Especially because when you first hear that "I'm sorry your child is..." you usually have all the time to imagine the worst things before the relief to know he's just deaf!

Luckily (?) we didn't get that... In fact "our" doctor was all excited. He said "The child is profoundly deaf, but you don't have to worry, children do so great nowadays with CIs!" :roll:
 
that's like going from one extreme ignorance to another, messymama:(

seems like the "i'm sorry" sets up a certain framework from the very beginning - instead of a amazing journey or new possibilities, the framework is "tragedy", "difference", "problem"....
 
diehardbiker said:
Even though I love Deaf, I am seeing what you are seeing. I realize myself that we Deaf people actually are missing something so big that every hearing people got for grant.

I watched TV a documentary where born blind guy got eye implant. Yes, this is for real, anyway he got this implant around 40'sh. When he finally sees something, he got freaked out and want go blind. Why? It is because what he saw is not what he had image since birth. He said it was completely different than he thought it was.

After watch this interesting story. I wish I had watch whole show. But this got me thinking. Damn, am I missing something? Mind you, I was born Deaf. I know I might never know what it is like but I am sure it is gonna be interesting.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah! I remember that! I wish I can remember what show's name and could watch all of it. I only watched it like fifteen minutes but I had to go for some places. :(
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ZqKMgXciU]Early Intervention: The Missing Link - YouTube[/ame]

This video discusses the problems with early intervention, including many of the above mentioned.
 
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