I grew up the only deaf in a hearing family. My parents didn't discover I didn't have perfect hearing until I was 11. They first put my severe lisp down as 'baby talk'. They had a hard time believing that there was something to deal with until the school nurse kept insisting. Finally, when they did take me to the specialist, they were told I was HoH, and were told if I wore hearing aids then I would be fine in mainstream schools, with speech therapy and reading remedial classes. My parents did not know nor were they told of any other options.
My mother especially was very accomodating to me, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have survived as long as I did in that situation. When other people would speak to me, my mother would be watching to see if I caught what they said, if she noticed that I missed it, she would then repeat it to me in a way that would not embarass me. When I got married to my wonderful husband, who is hearing and (all my children are hearing also). They also learned to accomodate me in that way by alerting me to someone wanting my attention or by repeating what was said or by speaking up a bit louder (not shouting - I don't tolerate that), or facing me, taking their hands down from their face so I can lip-read - all those things.
BTW, My parents were told I was HoH. When I went for my second hearing test just last year, my audiogram was exactly the same as the first, but the information I received this time as an adult was different. My audiogram shows my db as 60-80db = severely-deaf.
It had been that way since I was born (I was born 7 and 1/2 weeks premature and was 3lbs at birth). When my parents found out the severity of my deafness, they were shocked.
But people who are not my family, are constantly misunderstanding me, losing their patience with me, being rude and belittling me and even calling me rude just because I didn't respond to them, because I had been taught by society to hide my deafness.
I believe now that if I put an end to 'living the lie' of 'pretending' to be hearing, that I would fare much better and it would be much less stressful for me, even if no one takes heed to accomodate me. I can take control to insist on those accomodations for myself.
