Juanita
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- Joined
- Mar 21, 2004
- Messages
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*NOTE* I'm putting together a book, but would rather see what the others thought of my poems so the ones with best response would go in the book.
I wrote this poem a while ago, when I was going through some kind of BS with my mother for, like, 10 years or something .. (we're fine now, tho) .. and the poem has actual truth in it.
So, what do you think?
Brutal Honesty is welcomed!
-------------------------------------
Deep Inside of Me
© Juanita Soto
I’ve watched you walk out on me
A million times
I wasn’t too young or blind to see
You committing a crime
Yes, I knew---I’ve known all along
Deep inside of me,
I could sense your fear, your desire to belong.
I knew you weren’t just meant to be.
My heart kept telling me one thing,
My mind kept telling me another.
I knew my wishes wouldn’t bring,
Bring, you back to me, so I won’t bother.
Trying to reach out in an empty space,
I’m just taking life in stride.
I just wish I could remember your face
While I thread against life’s ever-changing tides.
Still, I question my purpose on this forsaken earth,
Deep inside of me,
My heart deceives me as I wonder about life’s worth.
I wish my mind and eyes were open so I could clearly see.
Though I wish I wasn’t so much like a tiger.
My eyes would be ablaze with rage whenever I’d get angry,
My soul would conceive the strength of a true fighter,
Locked in the battle of the century.
I’d feel like my soul contains a thousand fires,
Whenever I’m provoked or unthinkably mad.
I’d do whatever my heart desires,
And, after the storm, I wouldn’t even feel so bad.
In my every nightmare, I fought my demons ‘til I died.
I’d awake, with a start, to stare blankly at a wall,
Wishing, silently, that you were here, by my side,
To wake me before I perish, to catch me before I fall.
Deep inside of me,
I’m unborn.
Deep inside,
I’m the only.
Inside,
I’m torn.
So deep inside,
I’m so lonely.
I’m lost deep inside of me,
On my heart is a scar you made,
It pains me every time I’d try to flee,
From my dreams, from the demons I created.
I’ve tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel,
I’ve tried to reach into the space and grasp onto something real,
But, it seems like I’m always falling into the funnel.
Not so long ago, I’ve given up on trying to really feel.
Yes, I knew---I’ve known all along,
Deep inside of me, so many questions
I knew I have a life I must prolong
To get the answers that has been an irritation.
In other words,
Deep inside of me,
I’m lost in a different world.
So, will you please help me find me?
I wrote this poem a while ago, when I was going through some kind of BS with my mother for, like, 10 years or something .. (we're fine now, tho) .. and the poem has actual truth in it.
So, what do you think?
Brutal Honesty is welcomed!
-------------------------------------
Deep Inside of Me
© Juanita Soto
I’ve watched you walk out on me
A million times
I wasn’t too young or blind to see
You committing a crime
Yes, I knew---I’ve known all along
Deep inside of me,
I could sense your fear, your desire to belong.
I knew you weren’t just meant to be.
My heart kept telling me one thing,
My mind kept telling me another.
I knew my wishes wouldn’t bring,
Bring, you back to me, so I won’t bother.
Trying to reach out in an empty space,
I’m just taking life in stride.
I just wish I could remember your face
While I thread against life’s ever-changing tides.
Still, I question my purpose on this forsaken earth,
Deep inside of me,
My heart deceives me as I wonder about life’s worth.
I wish my mind and eyes were open so I could clearly see.
Though I wish I wasn’t so much like a tiger.
My eyes would be ablaze with rage whenever I’d get angry,
My soul would conceive the strength of a true fighter,
Locked in the battle of the century.
I’d feel like my soul contains a thousand fires,
Whenever I’m provoked or unthinkably mad.
I’d do whatever my heart desires,
And, after the storm, I wouldn’t even feel so bad.
In my every nightmare, I fought my demons ‘til I died.
I’d awake, with a start, to stare blankly at a wall,
Wishing, silently, that you were here, by my side,
To wake me before I perish, to catch me before I fall.
Deep inside of me,
I’m unborn.
Deep inside,
I’m the only.
Inside,
I’m torn.
So deep inside,
I’m so lonely.
I’m lost deep inside of me,
On my heart is a scar you made,
It pains me every time I’d try to flee,
From my dreams, from the demons I created.
I’ve tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel,
I’ve tried to reach into the space and grasp onto something real,
But, it seems like I’m always falling into the funnel.
Not so long ago, I’ve given up on trying to really feel.
Yes, I knew---I’ve known all along,
Deep inside of me, so many questions
I knew I have a life I must prolong
To get the answers that has been an irritation.
In other words,
Deep inside of me,
I’m lost in a different world.
So, will you please help me find me?
