LuvsInk
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2006
- Messages
- 75
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi Sue,
>
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother . Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
>As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
>the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
>So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
>water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
>the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down
>to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped t o the air hose.
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
>
>What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
>and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This f loods my whole suit
>with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
>Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
>So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
>
>Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
>from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
>
>Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
>stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
>When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
>the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
>of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
>to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instruc ted to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
>running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
>on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
>but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
>
>
>
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother . Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
>As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
>the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
>So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
>water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
>the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down
>to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped t o the air hose.
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
>
>What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
>and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This f loods my whole suit
>with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
>Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
>So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
>
>Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
>from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
>
>Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
>stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
>When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
>the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
>of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
>to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instruc ted to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
>running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
>on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
>but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
>
>