Anyone here adopted and found birth family

Raykat, my sister adopted 2 children in Auckland under the open adoption scheme, where the biological parent met a number of potential adoptive parents who were vetted and matched to the child by the adoption agency and the biological parent chose the particular family the child would go to. This was back in the late '70s & '80s.

It seemed to work well in my sister's case. There was some intial communication which eventually faded away. As the children approached 18 the parents resumed contact and everyone met again. I don't know if there were any negative events under this system.

Both the children have some contact with their natural parents, but still consider my sister to be Mum, as she brought them up. Everyone was happy this way. My sister was a little worried initially that she would lose her family, but it only really made it better and bigger!

The kids had satisfied their curiosity and just continued on. I don't know if this system was successful generally or if it still continues today.

I was brought up in NZ the same way you were. I am HOH since about 3. I was mainstreamed and met no other deaf people. Mum refused to send me to Kelston.

I started off in Christchurch (b.1956), was diagnosed as HOH and told I didn't need an aid. I was always in trouble at school for not hearing, no one believed me. We moved to Auckland when I was 7 and was given an aid immediately and my parents were told I should have had it years ago. Even i that small country no one was on the same page.

The rest is a story for another thread.

May I ask in what area of Auckland did you grow up? I was from Mangere.
 
Hi Nomad, sorry I havent been online for a bit, will explain about that shortly.
I think by the 70's, 80's things had pretty much changed with adoption, much more open and often meetings between birth and adoptive parents. Its amazing how many friends and aquaintances I have who are adopted. I have a much younger sister who came into our family as a foster child at 3 months old. Her parent had seperated and the mother decided she would keep the older brother but did not want the girl back. My parents were well past adoption age by then but decided to go ahead with the adoption. Unfortunately my father died when Mandy was only 7 leaving her and mum alone.

Now to the reason for my absence, my son married in March this year, his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 6th June, my second grandaughter. Then tragedy struck and my daughter in law passed away suddenly on 29th June, caused by a blood clot thru her heart. She was only 23 and left my son with a 3 weeks old baby to care for.
 
Raykat said:
Now to the reason for my absence, my son married in March this year, his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 6th June, my second grandaughter. Then tragedy struck and my daughter in law passed away suddenly on 29th June, caused by a blood clot thru her heart. She was only 23 and left my son with a 3 weeks old baby to care for.
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That is devastating news. I'm truly sorry for your family and especially for your son and the little baby. My thoughts are with you all.
 
I'm adopted and found birth mother within 4 yrs ago...
Happily seeing them renuioned.. Not easy being relationship take long haul and get know each together better.

I've been searched my birth mom for many years and registered internet on line and my sister found me that how works.

Worth you try register internet on line...
Adoption.org
check it out google.. search birth mother or father.. there will appears lot of listing as long you can register sign up... whoever might find you.
 
I am adopted also. My real mom found me. HOW? Her 2nd or 3rd cousin I am not sure...I kept forgetting to ask her. Anyway, she used to live in Hawaii and worked one of agency. She have an access to the DMV or something like that to find me. That's how she found me. It was in July 1994..so that's 13 years now. My mom and I are "OK" with the relationship. But not close like my brother does. I have ONLY ONE half brother..that's it. My dad never remarried after my mom.

So when we first met, we were kinda awkward at first. She offered pay me to fly down but I told her I couldn't take time off because I just had vacation. So she flew up and spent weekend. It was nice. Then I went down in August for a week (another week of vacation) to meet rest of the family. It was nice. And again Christmas for few days. Now we are 3K miles away.
 
GalaxyAngel said:
I'm adopted and found birth mother within 4 yrs ago...
Happily seeing them renuioned.. Not easy being relationship take long haul and get know each together better.

I've been searched my birth mom for many years and registered internet on line and my sister found me that how works.

Worth you try register internet on line...
Adoption.org
check it out google.. search birth mother or father.. there will appears lot of listing as long you can register sign up... whoever might find you.
Click to expand...

No, I dont need to register online, as I said in my first post in this thread my birth family has already found me, quite easy in a small country like NZ
 
To Nomad....sorry forgot to add the whereabouts bit, Grew up around Papatoetoe mostly, spent several years in Maraetai Beach, several more around Howick/ Botany area and now am playing at being a Westie in Te Atatu........but with my predeliction for moving house who knows where I may be next year....lol
 
LakeTahoe said:
I am adopted also. My real mom found me. HOW? Her 2nd or 3rd cousin I am not sure...I kept forgetting to ask her. Anyway, she used to live in Hawaii and worked one of agency. She have an access to the DMV or something like that to find me. That's how she found me. It was in July 1994..so that's 13 years now. My mom and I are "OK" with the relationship. But not close like my brother does. I have ONLY ONE half brother..that's it. My dad never remarried after my mom.

So when we first met, we were kinda awkward at first. She offered pay me to fly down but I told her I couldn't take time off because I just had vacation. So she flew up and spent weekend. It was nice. Then I went down in August for a week (another week of vacation) to meet rest of the family. It was nice. And again Christmas for few days. Now we are 3K miles away.
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Great to read your story, yes it can be awkward at first, people who are not adopted would think you would rush into each other arms but it doesnt work that way and sometimes the connection is never fully made.
 
I am adopted. I was adopted at 12 months. I do not know much about my parents other than the fact that my mother didn't know she was pregnant with me. I was born in the emergency room three months premature and had open heart surgery before I was a month old. I was told at three months that my biological father abused me, I had a fractured skull, broken ribs and a broken wrist. I was taken in by Defacs and placed into foster care...the rest is history. I have one brother who is older, and one sister who is two years younger than me or SO I was told. I have no desire to meet my parents, my adoption was a closed adoption and the records are sealed by the court. I don't think I have any worries of anyone finding me! would hate for that to happen.

Congrats on meeting your mother! it must be wonderful to know who you are!
 
Jaspheth said:
I am adopted. I was adopted at 12 months. I do not know much about my parents other than the fact that my mother didn't know she was pregnant with me. I was born in the emergency room three months premature and had open heart surgery before I was a month old. I was told at three months that my biological father abused me, I had a fractured skull, broken ribs and a broken wrist. I was taken in by Defacs and placed into foster care...the rest is history. I have one brother who is older, and one sister who is two years younger than me or SO I was told. I have no desire to meet my parents, my adoption was a closed adoption and the records are sealed by the court. I don't think I have any worries of anyone finding me! would hate for that to happen.

Congrats on meeting your mother! it must be wonderful to know who you are!
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It is stories like this that turned me off wanting to find my birth family, the fear of what might they be like" especially as my adopted family was wonderful. Open heart surgery at a month old...wow!!!!....a bit like my grandaughter who had bowel op and apendix removed at 5 days old. I am so glad you were eventually adopted and hope your adoption experience was a happy one.
 
Raykat said:
Now to the reason for my absence, my son married in March this year, his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 6th June, my second grandaughter. Then tragedy struck and my daughter in law passed away suddenly on 29th June, caused by a blood clot thru her heart. She was only 23 and left my son with a 3 weeks old baby to care for.
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Just come back online myself, Raykat. That's terrible news, very sorry to hear about it. Hope things are working out OK for you all, my thoughts and condolences are with you.

I grew up around Buckland Rd, Mangere (Nob Hill, LOL). My sister and a brother lived in Papatotoe for years. One in Hillside Rd, the other just behind Hunters Corner off Shirley Road. I went to Mangere East primary, the Intermediate on Buckland Rd and Aorere College. Did my apprenticeship at NZR, Otahuhu workshops. I was the first deaf (HOH) person in any of those places. I think it was a culture shock for all of us.

Live in Brisbane now, moved over '79.
 
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