We all Deaf people hate theives to the core... Here is a good laugh and stress reliever I came across on the internet about 101 jokes.
101 Uses For a Dead Burglar
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1. Doorstop
2. Fertilizer
3. Paperweight
4. Hat Rack
5. Mannequin
6. Scarecrow
7. Pencil Sharpener?
8. Can Opener ( As long as his teeth last)
9. Anchor
10. Rifle, Bow and Arrow, ect... Target
11. Foot Rest
12. Coffee Table
13. Stain on the Carpet CoverUp Device.
14. Envelope Moistener ( First few days only)
15. Place Saver on the Couch
16. Teeter Totter Partner
17. Audience for Lame Jokes
18. Tee for Batting Practice
19. Knife Sharpness Tester
20. Chew Toy for Dog (Actually more fun if burglar isn't dead)
21. Scratching Post for Cat (Again, more fun if he isn't dead yet)
22. Pot Luck Dish for Cannibals of the Month Club
23. Filler Dirt
24. Acid Detector
25. Pin Cushion
26. Confetti
27. Sex Slave ( If you're into that sort of thing )
28. Husband You Always Wanted ( Never talks back)
29. Dart Board
30. Nail Holder ( So you don't smack YOUR thumb)
31. Home Autopsy Patient.
32. Subject For That Medical Correspondence Course You Always Wanted to Take
33. Jump Rope ( Must remove intestines first, of course)
34. Show and Tell
35. M-80's ( Need I say more)
36. Home Alien Anal Probe Discovery Kit
37. Extra Body For The HOV Lane
38. Grind Bones for Kitty Litter
39. Finger Nail Polish Color Tester
40. Prom Date?
41. Crash Test Dummy
42. Electricity Meter
43. Halloween Decoration
44. Fish Food
45. Extra Credit for Science Class
46. Prop in a Concert or theatre
47. Police Brutality Test Dummy
48. Denver Nuggets Season Ticket Holder ( They need all the fans they can get, dead or alive)
49. Bullet Proof Vest Tester
50. McDonalds, Taco Bell, Wendys, ect...Employee (To add life to the service)
51. Seasoning Salt for Fan Club Luncheon.
52. Use Stomach As A Colostomy Bag
53. Test Dummy for Shark Repellent.
54. Mary Poppins Theory Tester ( 30 Story Min.)
55. Throw Rug
56. Sand Bag
57. Dead Weight for Pickup Truck in Winter
58. Truck Bumper
59. Speed Bump
60. Rectal Thermometer Storage
61. High Voltage Fuse
62. Lightning Rod
63. Flotation Device
64. McDonalds Coffee Temperature Sensor
65. Medical Waste Storage
66. Artificial Reef
67. Tar Paper Holder
68. Bike Rack
69. Fill With Air, Use As Compressor
70. Mobile Home Roof Weight
71. All Purpose Bait
72. Ant Farm
73. Compost
74. Weight for Compost Plastic Cover ( Need 2 Burglars)
75. Maggot Farm
76. Spare Parts
78. Pry Bar
79. Wind Sock
80. Solicitation Deterrent
81. Parking Block
82. Candy Dish ( Head Only scare the kids at Halloween )
83. Ash Tray
84. Javelin Catcher
85. Trophy
86. Shot-put
87. Golf Tee
88. Golf Club Bag
89. Concrete Rebar
90. Lamp Post
91. Bowling Ball
92. Bowling Pin
93. "Bobby Burn Victim" ( For Educational Purposes Only)
94. Buoy
95. Tackling Dummy
96. Post For A Street Sign
97. Instant Motor Belt Stopper
98. Baseball Bat Impact Tester
99. Electric Chair Tester
100. Paper cut Tester
101. Effigy For Other Burglars
101 Uses For a Dead Burglar
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1. Doorstop
2. Fertilizer
3. Paperweight
4. Hat Rack
5. Mannequin
6. Scarecrow
7. Pencil Sharpener?
8. Can Opener ( As long as his teeth last)
9. Anchor
10. Rifle, Bow and Arrow, ect... Target
11. Foot Rest
12. Coffee Table
13. Stain on the Carpet CoverUp Device.
14. Envelope Moistener ( First few days only)
15. Place Saver on the Couch
16. Teeter Totter Partner
17. Audience for Lame Jokes
18. Tee for Batting Practice
19. Knife Sharpness Tester
20. Chew Toy for Dog (Actually more fun if burglar isn't dead)
21. Scratching Post for Cat (Again, more fun if he isn't dead yet)
22. Pot Luck Dish for Cannibals of the Month Club
23. Filler Dirt
24. Acid Detector
25. Pin Cushion
26. Confetti
27. Sex Slave ( If you're into that sort of thing )
28. Husband You Always Wanted ( Never talks back)
29. Dart Board
30. Nail Holder ( So you don't smack YOUR thumb)
31. Home Autopsy Patient.
32. Subject For That Medical Correspondence Course You Always Wanted to Take
33. Jump Rope ( Must remove intestines first, of course)
34. Show and Tell
35. M-80's ( Need I say more)
36. Home Alien Anal Probe Discovery Kit
37. Extra Body For The HOV Lane
38. Grind Bones for Kitty Litter
39. Finger Nail Polish Color Tester
40. Prom Date?
41. Crash Test Dummy
42. Electricity Meter
43. Halloween Decoration
44. Fish Food
45. Extra Credit for Science Class
46. Prop in a Concert or theatre
47. Police Brutality Test Dummy
48. Denver Nuggets Season Ticket Holder ( They need all the fans they can get, dead or alive)
49. Bullet Proof Vest Tester
50. McDonalds, Taco Bell, Wendys, ect...Employee (To add life to the service)
51. Seasoning Salt for Fan Club Luncheon.
52. Use Stomach As A Colostomy Bag
53. Test Dummy for Shark Repellent.
54. Mary Poppins Theory Tester ( 30 Story Min.)
55. Throw Rug
56. Sand Bag
57. Dead Weight for Pickup Truck in Winter
58. Truck Bumper
59. Speed Bump
60. Rectal Thermometer Storage
61. High Voltage Fuse
62. Lightning Rod
63. Flotation Device
64. McDonalds Coffee Temperature Sensor
65. Medical Waste Storage
66. Artificial Reef
67. Tar Paper Holder
68. Bike Rack
69. Fill With Air, Use As Compressor
70. Mobile Home Roof Weight
71. All Purpose Bait
72. Ant Farm
73. Compost
74. Weight for Compost Plastic Cover ( Need 2 Burglars)
75. Maggot Farm
76. Spare Parts
78. Pry Bar
79. Wind Sock
80. Solicitation Deterrent
81. Parking Block
82. Candy Dish ( Head Only scare the kids at Halloween )
83. Ash Tray
84. Javelin Catcher
85. Trophy
86. Shot-put
87. Golf Tee
88. Golf Club Bag
89. Concrete Rebar
90. Lamp Post
91. Bowling Ball
92. Bowling Pin
93. "Bobby Burn Victim" ( For Educational Purposes Only)
94. Buoy
95. Tackling Dummy
96. Post For A Street Sign
97. Instant Motor Belt Stopper
98. Baseball Bat Impact Tester
99. Electric Chair Tester
100. Paper cut Tester
101. Effigy For Other Burglars