another rant

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AJ, Drinking and doing drugs is not a good answer to your anger or any behavior disorders that you have. My brother died in result from overdose of bi polar disorder medicine. I don't want you to end up like my brother. You really need help, do not give up and go to classes and a good counselor to help cope with your problems you are dealing with. I know life is hard, but there is always challenges in your life and we all go thru bad things in our lives. So please hang in there. Thanks
 
AJ said:
When i drink it numbs everything. and if i get drunk enough i wont remember anything tomorrow.
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Im a recovered alcoholic, (deafclimber's seen me roaring drunk :P) and I used to think alcohol was the answer to my depression, but I made a fool out of myself for 3 years for nothing. I wish I never touched the bottle, and if anything else, I know liquor just worsens your problems because its 1. The problem's still there 2. WHY did I drink that crap because it didnt help solve the problems!??!

Hope this helps ya AJ :)
 
AJ said:
Amen
and thank you
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:angel: You're very welcome, AJ, and I hope and pray that each day will become a little better for you. You're right, trust in yourself, your own instincts. It will get better in time. I hope you are back to your ole' self soon. The AJ well all know and love so well. Take care my friend. :hug:
 
AJ, it is also very important to love yourself first before you are able to share yourself with others. Validate that anger you have right now, and tomorrow takes care of itself. Then when tomorrow comes, you may be in a better place to know which steps to take in a direction that is right/better for you. Even if the next step IS to ask for help. Be patient with yourself. :thumb:
 
last night i was told i dont respect people and thats why i dont have a lot of friends. i feel i do respect people i always say yes ma'am no sir. im only a smart ass to people when they deserve it.

i dont know. im going to go to the beach and evaluate myself.
 
Q!!!!

You are almost same as me too. That things and friends has putting me down since I been doing for my favor to do is accept them for my sake,God's sake,and Jesus Christ's sake too. I became dedicated to move out of my hometown and moved in Hawaii at my age was 22 and I became new life in Hawaii and started to live camp out for 3 years to make more money at work and save money while I go out to fishing and swimming,also member of BUS PASS for free because I am deaf. I been riding on the bus everyday and the bus goes everywhere around the island and it was really cool.But now they changed new price cost is $30 dollars for one year for bus pass. I meet a lot of beautiful people because they are different nationalities that I seen them still popular japanese,chinese,taiwanese,filipino,samoan,tongan,hawaiian,korean,and many more different too.I got married to Hawaiian deaf woman and born 2 daughters also live in house too. That I have done save a lot of money while I been on camp and goes work too. and I started to spend money for deposit and rent to live house and pay kids for enjoy fun and shopping clothes for kids too. I really enjoy it in Hawaii and still falling in love with Hawaii's famous new styles. I became dedicated to lives in Hawaii for since 1988. They are really nice people out there but a very few of them are bad people out there.It was not really that bad at all. I have 4 deaf friends who lives on the beach and sleep in camp and they goes to work and do laundry and go shower also rent a storage for clothes and personal grooming too. and the money been grown a lot of money in my savings account and my 4 deaf friends are also saving his own money and bought a lot of nice and expensive uniques clothes also meet nice deaf women they are japanese,korean,filipino,hawaiian,etc.....and been dating with them and it was really fun! They likes to meet new deaf people. But I know you are hearing. If you like to get to know deaf culture better. That is good for you. That things really turns you out a lot fun and better than your hometown just like me too. I rather be loner that makes me comfortable and I do sometimes like to associate with friends too. So I goes to the bar included go go dancers and I meet them and really had fun there. So you will not feel angry about yourself anymore. Be happy about yourself and good thing that you did make it to Hawaii!!!!!! Go work and save money and nothing to spend at all just pay for little food,do laundry,buy some personal groomings and moeny goes to banking and keep your dreams come true and alive too. I urge to dreams come true to see pipeline and there have contest at northshore and southshore for professional surfer. So your feels really getting a lot better than hometown. I did thought of about suicide myself in my hometown when I was younger. But I changed my mind I get out of my life from hometown and get new life in Hawaii and now that I know it was really did makes me happy with my new life in Hawaii. Let's go and before you becomes worsen reckless in hometown and lingering with anger about yourself. Get on the bus greyhound one way cost is $89 anywhere pay in advance for 7 days waiting for depart from florida to california then transfer to Hawaiian airline cost you $128 dollars one way from LAX to HNL hurry up it is special flight fare for this fall season!!!! I urge you to get out of your life from hometown. If that is what you want to do then let's go!!!! If you have your gf and just bring her with you okay. Wishes you the best of luck!!!!! If you need to know more info about job and place to live and contact with someone that might help you with something that you can get info. from www.alohafriends.com ok Take care and I am here to help you with celebrate life is all the possible ways. Because you need to know something about me that I am sharing with you as new friends in Hawaii! You will finds a lot of happiness in Hawaii and always will be there for you forever. I am still falling in love with Hawaii's famous new style for since 1988 to now you know that imposed! ok hope your decision has made the right decision for you to come to Hawaii! Because Hawaii is still awaits for you! I'll pray for you and your dreams really comes true soon. Wishes you the best of luck!! Stay dreams come true to live in Hawaii someday. :P you want to know info. about special flight fare to Hawaii here it is http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=19739
 
RebelGirl said:
I went thru that just a month ago.. worried to death on how i was going to get school supplies for my girl.. everything has gone up.. my lot has raised 15 dollars more, my fiance drives a 4x4 truck and eats up gas, our food is very limited too cuz its too high.. i understand how you feel.. if everything goes up.. we ought to get a good raise, don't we??? but, we do need to keep faith in ourselves and hang in there!
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Yeah even the wrose, the kids (older not the young ones).. have been getting each other necks, pick on the other.. and I am going through their depressions or frustrations.. because 2 of kids.. their father (my ex husband) is packing and moving OUT of state.. kids were just so UPSET and took it out on me (i dont blame them).. they just working out with him to start seeing and visiting.. since last christmas.. theyfelt bad that MOM (me) worked so hard to get their father work out in court and start seeing kids... helped their father to reunite his mom and family... I told the kids.. well I am still here.. thats all the matters ..
but dealing the emotions and stress.. give me nuts.. have faith all that important..
 
Okay, I hate to break up a perfectly good pity party, but….I’m all for doing something about a situation rather than just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Some people just don’t care much for whining, especially if they have heard the song and dance a multitude of times and it is beginning to sound like a broken record. Or maybe the whining taking place is making them feel uncomfortable because it may be pitting one friend against another and that is the reason they don’t want to get involved.

Whatever the reason, if you want someone that is going to be there unconditionally, you may consider a professional (a counselor, not a whore). I see you have already been to 2 therapists, but you obviously didn’t find the right one for you. OR, maybe you didn’t give them enough of a chance. Did you think that maybe they are required to ask those sort of questions because that is how they get to know you better and find out the underlying cause for some of your frustrations and get a better picture of who they are dealing with? And from the sounds of it, you may wish to see a psychiatrist who can prescribe the appropriate medications you may require.

Are you sure you aren’t a violent drunk? If you go around punching holes in things when you are sober, I can’t imagine you being calm when you are intoxicated. You sound a lot like my first husband and he was a monster when he drank. I say “was” cuz he’s dead now.

Don’t think for a second that I am talking out against you. This isn’t the case, because I have certainly been on the whining end on more than my share of the time. And, you have had your fair share of shit happening in your life, but you aren’t the only one. However, I do feel that you require complete honesty, just like I do. Sure it may sting, but it is food for thought.
 
im not a fucking alcoholic. dont ever call me that. and im not crazy. i just have a lot of shit in my past i need to learn to let go and deal with. and i went to the beach. and i sat and i thought. and i came up with this

The only time im going to talk to someone about my problems is if im 100% sure i know they will listen and not judge. which needless to say is not going to happen. so, whenever i have a problem im going to talk to God, because God is the only "person" who will listen without judging me for sure. if someone doesn't want to help me out by sitting down for 5 minutes and listening, then fuck them. i dont fucking care. and im tired of being sad, so its time to switch gears and return back to my poems and posting.

thank you all for ur support, and ur kind words. ill never forget it, and ill always appreciate it.
 
Okay, first of all, nobody said you were “crazy”, that was your words, not ours.
Second, it has nothing to do with someone taking 5 minutes to listen to you, because you have certainly spent more than 5 minutes on your rant just in this thread and I doubt it has helped you much, because you issues are going to take far more than 5 minutes to deal with, and it won’t take place online. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting professional help in working through your issues. This seems to have turned into a ME, ME, ME issue and you’re gonna have to realize that you aren’t the only one in this world with issues….Issues are a prerequisite of being human. Obviously you haven’t been able to work through your issues on your own, I seriously doubt that just praying is going to fix everything (God helps those who help themselves), and discussing it online is only going to compound the problem, because this seems to only provide more frustration for you. It is all up to you how you decide to deal with your issues, but ranting isn’t going to provide a solution.


p.s. before anyone says that I am pushing you toward suicide, that too is your responsibility and yours alone. I will not accept the responsibility of your own self-destruction.
 
Eve said:
Okay, first of all, nobody said you were “crazy”, that was your words, not ours.
Second, it has nothing to do with someone taking 5 minutes to listen to you, because you have certainly spent more than 5 minutes on your rant just in this thread and I doubt it has helped you much, because you issues are going to take far more than 5 minutes to deal with, and it won’t take place online. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting professional help in working through your issues. This seems to have turned into a ME, ME, ME issue and you’re gonna have to realize that you aren’t the only one in this world with issues….Issues are a prerequisite of being human. Obviously you haven’t been able to work through your issues on your own, I seriously doubt that just praying is going to fix everything (God helps those who help themselves), and discussing it online is only going to compound the problem, because this seems to only provide more frustration for you. It is all up to you how you decide to deal with your issues, but ranting isn’t going to provide a solution.


p.s. before anyone says that I am pushing you toward suicide, that too is your responsibility and yours alone. I will not accept the responsibility of your own self-destruction.
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the rant was an outlet for my anger. something so i can let off steam. ok? im not looking for pity. i even said, that i didn't care if no one repsonds to this. i just needed to yell and scream and curse so that i would be able to calm down.
 
I'd like to jump in here, if I may? Generally speaking, I'm not one to be overly harsh when it comes to someone with emotional issues. I have emotional issues, myself. There are times when I need/want someone to just listen to me, and that's all it takes for me to process whatever I have going on in my head. I've also solicited an online "ear" more times than I'd care to admit, but there is a limit to that, and I must also say I agree with Eve. I think that once you've talked to a few people, and you're still feeling like crap, it's time to do something!

It doesn't have to be seeking professional help. It can be as simple as doing something good for someone else. Doing something to make you feel good always helps. It has helped me even when I didn't want to do ANYTHING.

I'm grateful for the online support I have gotten, but I'm also very grateful those who have given me a swift kick in the tail when I've needed it, too!

I would suggest examining what you've got going on in your mind. Find it what it is you REALLY NEED. Then, seek out the person who you think is most likely to help you. Talk (or chat) with that individual, but then, DO as they suggest! You're not going to feel better through osmosis. You'll only feel better if you put some action into things.
 
Also...i understand that other people have issues...and if they do, and need someone to talk to about those issues id be right there for them if they needed it. apparently im the only fucking moron that feels sometimes u need to talk to someone about stuff. and Eve baby ur the last person im going to listen to.

people deal with shit differently. and just because u dont like to talk about ur problems...doesn't mean everyone else is like that.

and anyway i feel this thing is getting blown out of proportion.
all this rant was, was about me being pissed off at a friend. and thats all it was, and its over. i dont give a fuck about that friend anymore. she can go on with her life and stay out of mine.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I'd like to jump in here, if I may? Generally speaking, I'm not one to be overly harsh when it comes to someone with emotional issues. I have emotional issues, myself. There are times when I need/want someone to just listen to me, and that's all it takes for me to process whatever I have going on in my head. I've also solicited an online "ear" more times than I'd care to admit, but there is a limit to that, and I must also say I agree with Eve. I think that once you've talked to a few people, and you're still feeling like crap, it's time to do something!

It doesn't have to be seeking professional help. It can be as simple as doing something good for someone else. Doing something to make you feel good always helps. It has helped me even when I didn't want to do ANYTHING.

I'm grateful for the online support I have gotten, but I'm also very grateful those who have given me a swift kick in the tail when I've needed it, too!

I would suggest examining what you've got going on in your mind. Find it what it is you REALLY NEED. Then, seek out the person who you think is most likely to help you. Talk (or chat) with that individual, but then, DO as they suggest! You're not going to feel better just through osmosis. You'll only feel better if you put some action into things.
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i cant talk to the people that are hurting me. cuz one's dead and the other one doesnt give a fuck about me.

so i have to learn to live with out them. and move on. and thats what im working on.
 
AJ said:
i cant talk to the people that are hurting me. cuz one's dead and the other one doesnt give a fuck about me.

so i have to learn to live with out them. and move on. and thats what im working on.
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Well, then. You don't want to hear from me, either. I agree with Eve. All we seem to be hearing from you is a lot of excuses "I can't do this.. I can't do that..." Well, truthfully, AJ... You're going to have to DO SOMETHING! Venting, by itself, isn't helping you. (Didn't Eve say that already?)

Do something, AJ, before you really go off the deep end.
 
It doesn't have to be seeking professional help.
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Actually, anyone who would resort to attempting suicide, trying to ease pain through the use of alcohol, etc. needs more than just “doing something good for someone else” can provide.

and Eve baby ur the last person im going to listen to.
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Suit yourself. I’ve got a bit of experience with suicidal individuals such as yourself.

people deal with shit differently. and just because u dont like to talk about ur problems...doesn't mean everyone else is like that.
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I couldn’t agree more, but it seems that you haven’t found an effective means for dealing with your “shit”, and since I have experience in that area, I just offered some advice, which you can take with a grain of salt. Hell, why should I care? I don’t know you.

and anyway i feel this thing is getting blown out of proportion.
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This coming from a guy who has already admitted to stabbing himself in the gut…hmmmm
 
Eve said:
Actually, anyone who would resort to attempting suicide, trying to ease pain through the use of alcohol, etc. needs more than just “doing something good for someone else” can provide.

Suit yourself. I’ve got a bit of experience with suicidal individuals such as yourself.

I couldn’t agree more, but it seems that you haven’t found an effective means for dealing with your “shit”, and since I have experience in that area, I just offered some advice, which you can take with a grain of salt. Hell, why should I care? I don’t know you.

This coming from a guy who has already admitted to stabbing himself in the gut…hmmmm
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im not suicidal anymore dude...i said u use to be suicidal. im alright now. i would never think about killing myself now. cuz i know better than that.
 
Eve said:
Okay, first of all, nobody said you were “crazy”, that was your words, not ours.
Second, it has nothing to do with someone taking 5 minutes to listen to you, because you have certainly spent more than 5 minutes on your rant just in this thread and I doubt it has helped you much, because you issues are going to take far more than 5 minutes to deal with, and it won’t take place online. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting professional help in working through your issues. This seems to have turned into a ME, ME, ME issue and you’re gonna have to realize that you aren’t the only one in this world with issues….Issues are a prerequisite of being human. Obviously you haven’t been able to work through your issues on your own, I seriously doubt that just praying is going to fix everything (God helps those who help themselves), and discussing it online is only going to compound the problem, because this seems to only provide more frustration for you. It is all up to you how you decide to deal with your issues, but ranting isn’t going to provide a solution.


p.s. before anyone says that I am pushing you toward suicide, that too is your responsibility and yours alone. I will not accept the responsibility of your own self-destruction.
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Obviously, Eve, you don't understand other people's feelings but your own. AJ was just speaking for himself how upset he was, and you're turning this into your own evil speaking by saying this post. The last thing you said "I will not accept the responsibility of your own self-destruction" has NOTHING to do with your own action.. that was just pure evil thing to say to someone that has a problem.. that definitely wouldn't make a good judgement coming from you.. Maybe one day, when you go crying or upset needing to talk to someone.. someone says that stuff to you the way you said to AJ.. wouldn't make you feel good about it.. won't it?
 
i have a pretty good feeling im not voting for Eve for Mod thats for damn sure. id rather cut my penis off with a dull knife before i vote for her.
 
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