another rant

Status
Not open for further replies.
AJ

AJ

New Member
Joined
May 24, 2003
Messages
3,311
Reaction score
0
i am extremely pissed and if i dont talk about it then its going to eat me inside and then ill be the person i use to be. i dont expect anyone to respond to this i just need to let out anger. if i say anything inappropriate im sorry Mods, please dont ban me, if u want to lock this thread up its fine.

i am so sick and tired of everyone. everybody. u think people are ur friends...but they arent. they are only ur friends when ur happy. but once ur sad, or have a problem they act like they dont know u. and im tired of that bullshit. dont tell someone ur going to be there for them and then when things get hard for them and they need an outlet u bail on them. if i had one penny for everytime someone did that to me id be a fucking millionare thats for sure. now id have a million dollars and once cent. for my whole entire life ive been searching for someone to just listen to me. they didn't even have to talk. just listen. thats all i fucking wanted. its been almost 23 years and i still cant find someone. this is why i was suicidal 4 or 5 years ago. this is why i cried myself to sleep. this is why i got high and drunk everyday for a damn year. because of gay ass people who are full of shit. dont fucking lie to me god damnit if ur not going to be there for me then tell me up front. dont lie to me and tell me ull always be there for me when u wont be. i dont understand i dont understand. what i do understand is if at the moment ur busy. what i dont understand is just blowing me off completely and saying, i dont want to mess with it. i dont want to hear it. if someone needed me to listen to them id sure as fuck would. i

i guess the only advice i have for everyone is, if ur going to be someone's friend, dont make promises u know u cant keep.

i feel a tiny bit better. and again if i offended anyone with my language im sorry.
 
im tired man. my anger made me tired. im not angry anymore but i am sad. and upset.
again i apologize for my cussing.
 
kinda reminds me of Fanastia's song...

"baby if you dont want me then dont talk to me and go to someone else..."

but hell, you know the truth...it's pretty much difficult for most people to have a true friend. alotta people just dont know what it takes to be a real friend when they think they aren't wrong when they get you involved in a risky situation or take advantage of you when they are lazy about something or even lie about alot of stuff and stab your back, etc...they aren't true friends.

real friends are meant to have friends who are willing to stay on your side, no matter what...should love you like a brother or sister and would often repay for the things you done for them and would always try something to make you feel better when you are down in the dumps, and just go out and have some fun without having someone to take advantage of you for driving them everywhere, buy them something, or whatever shit like that cause I won't play with someone else who treats me like that...hell no.

so, you get the picture.
 
true..... it is not easy to make real friends, since people in the world can be snobby and they only think of themselves so you are not the only one who is lonely. Everyone is lonely and they need good friends that are very easygoing. I feel that way too because I am still in high school and people get too much peer pressure. I can't wait until I am out of high school!
 
I know exactly how you feel. I currently live in a house with 5 friends. Just recently, two of them showed their true colors, and now I refuse to acknowledge either one. One of them is a friend that I've known since my Freshman year of high school. Its hard to find a friend that will actually stick by you. There is only one friend I've been long term friends with and he is the most selfless person possible, and I am very grateful that he, at least, is still my friend.
 
aj, i understand how u feel. i felt empty when i was into divorce. i had struggled for a long time to recover myself. that was why i have traveled to rock climbing areas with my friends. rock has been my awesome therapist. i have communicating with God and the nature. i have been in beautiful peace in mountains. the nature always listens to ya and it never leaves ya, you know.

same with God and Jesus if you believe in Him.

have u talked with the nature like ocean because i notice u love surfing so i thought why dont u connect with the nature.

just take 2 cents...
 
Deafclimber has an excellent point there. Take his advice!

I can truly relate to how you're feeling. Through the darkest periods of my life, I turned to Mother Nature to remind me of the big picture, not a few frivolous folks.

Just went through a drak period but at least I found out who my real friends. Granted, there aren't many but better than 1,000 fake friends who only want to be around if you're providing fun etc for them.

HUGS!
 
i learned that the only person u can fully trust in the whole entire world is urself. the only person u can rely on is urself.
 
:hug: AJ, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. Please do not apologize for what you had said. You needed to get this off your chest, you're angry, and you have every right to be. People today can be so selfish when you need a true friend, have a problem, going through a crisis, friends are never around when you need them.

True friendship doesn't have the same meaning as it did years and years ago. AJ, you're young, you have so much going for you. Why is it, when things are going good for you, it seems like you have an endless amount of friends, right? But, as soon as you tell these friends you have a problem, or in need of help, you see how fast they run. What do we have to do? Set up an interview process just to find the perfect, true friend?

It's better to have one good friend, than none at all. So, if you have that one good friend that you know you can count on, stay with that friend.

Things had to be tearing you apart inside years ago when you felt like you were hitting rock bottom, and the worst that happened to you is no one was around when you needed them. Those are the people you eliminate from your life, you don't need them.

I hope and pray that this anger will subside soon, because you are a good and caring person, you have a great sense of humor. Just reading your postings, so many people enjoy talking to you. It looks as though you have lots of friends here on AD too.

I will pray for you AJ, and may God bless you each and every day to have the strength to move forward.

You're young, AJ, you can get through this, just think positive, and remember that you are always number 1 in your life. I pray that good friend will come through for you, and lend an ear, and a helping hand.

In the meantime, be good to yourself, your life is very important and make sure you don't hold anything in, it's not good for you.

Even if you turn to God and pray to him for good days, happiness and to help you in time of trouble. That is what God wants, He wants you to give him your troubles, He's there to listen and to help.

God Bless, and Good luck AJ, you're a good man, always remember that!!! :ily:
 
CODAchild said:
:hug: AJ, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. Please do not apologize for what you had said. You needed to get this off your chest, you're angry, and you have every right to be. People today can be so selfish when you need a true friend, have a problem, going through a crisis, friends are never around when you need them.

True friendship doesn't have the same meaning as it did years and years ago. AJ, you're young, you have so much going for you. Why is it, when things are going good for you, it seems like you have an endless amount of friends, right? But, as soon as you tell these friends you have a problem, or in need of help, you see how fast they run. What do we have to do? Set up an interview process just to find the perfect, true friend?

It's better to have one good friend, than none at all. So, if you have that one good friend that you know you can count on, stay with that friend.

Things had to be tearing you apart inside years ago when you felt like you were hitting rock bottom, and the worst that happened to you is no one was around when you needed them. Those are the people you eliminate from your life, you don't need them.

I hope and pray that this anger will subside soon, because you are a good and caring person, you have a great sense of humor. Just reading your postings, so many people enjoy talking to you. It looks as though you have lots of friends here on AD too.

I will pray for you AJ, and may God bless you each and every day to have the strength to move forward.

You're young, AJ, you can get through this, just think positive, and remember that you are always number 1 in your life. I pray that good friend will come through for you, and lend an ear, and a helping hand.

In the meantime, be good to yourself, your life is very important and make sure you don't hold anything in, it's not good for you.

Even if you turn to God and pray to him for good days, happiness and to help you in time of trouble. That is what God wants, He wants you to give him your troubles, He's there to listen and to help.

God Bless, and Good luck AJ, you're a good man, always remember that!!! :ily:
Click to expand...

Amen
and thank you
 
TweetyBird said:
whoa! i uddy how ur feeling.. take it easy... :hug:
Click to expand...

im alright now. im not angry. just sad that it happened. and i feel like an idiot. i never saw it coming but i guess i should have seen it since it happens so often. and then people wonder why i dont trust easily
 
AJ said:
im alright now. im not angry. just sad that it happened. and i feel like an idiot. i never saw it coming but i guess i should have seen it since it happens so often. and then people wonder why i dont trust easily
Click to expand...
good thing that u are allright now.. :hug:
 
AJ said:
im alright now. im not angry. just sad that it happened. and i feel like an idiot. i never saw it coming but i guess i should have seen it since it happens so often. and then people wonder why i dont trust easily
Click to expand...

did this happened to you today? I truely feel ya.. I've been there and it does hurt bad.. See why I rather not have a bestfriend at all.. as i said in other thread.. It is hard to find a friend you can really trust these days. I have one friend so far that I think I can trust but I'm not 100% sure if I can. But just be true to yourself and be yourself. If you do feel alot of anger inside.. like deafclimber said, go to the beach and surf some and release the anger outta you and leave it to the sea. Start thinking the positive side and move on.. you have alot of supporters here that can relate how you feel. Hang in there, AJ!!! :hug:
 
AJ,

I'm glad to see someone come out normal person. I understand how u feel. Don't be ashamed that u have anger yourself. Its good to get things out, and get ppl to understand who u really are.

Well, I had almost similar plm with you, but little differently. I am not saying much personal, but tell u some of it. I made huge mistaken to married a wrong guy, and he destory my life, and my reputate (sp). I suffered abused. I did lost who i am for long time, and did divcored him. I lost some good friends, which thought they were my friends, after they hate me from divcore my ex hubby. (Who need them) I did done tried sucided few times. But my parents stopped me from it. And i been keep depressed for awhile. Til, out of blue, i finally got strength and stand up. My few friends did came and see me, which touched my heart. which i was 2 hours away. Beside, I learned something, I don't need many friends, if i do, i will have problems with them. And, I love who i am. Other people don't see my other side and my truthful. At least, u know who are true friends or not.

Anyway, I know I'm just newbie here, and, i'm just here to enjoy and have fun. I just love to listen and learn something new. Beside, AJ, u should be proud that u have talent of write poems, since i read them, they re good, expression. You should be glad. I do have some talents here. It's becuz that something we re good at them. You should proud of that. Hope u find the key of happiness in ur life. Sorry being a long note here..
 
nothing just a miss understanding. but now im just still pissed about what happened. i hate this man. i hate this so god damn much. give me a fucking break already u know?
i know God only gives u what u can handle but i dont know how much more i can take. my father left my mother's dead my step father beat the shit out of me my girlfriend i try to reach out to people because they say i should and when i do they close the door on me. i stabbed myself in the fucking stomach and went to the damn hospital. i dont know what the fuckim supposed to do!!!! ur not supposed to talk to about ur feelings, so ill keep them inside but if i keep them inside ill self destruct, but no one cares so ill just keep it inside since no one wants to listen its fucking insane. i feel like a fucking dog chasin his tail. i keep going around and around and honestly im about tired. i dont know what to do except cry. and yeah i said cry. im almost 23 years old i know im a man. if u call me a baby for crying i will punch ur face in. if i dont cry im violent. so instead of punching holes in the way, or hurting myself i cry. and i dont want to cry no more.
 
AJ, have you considered moving to another town or state to have a new life and start over? I know you can't run away from problems but I think it'll put you at ease to be away from him.. I can't imagine what you're going thru. But seems to me your life is at risk of hurting yourself and I don't want anything to happen to you.. Have you thought about seeing a counselor or therapist or someone you can really trust to speak about your emotions? try not to beat yourself up by yourself.. you have us in here and we'll listen. but please please be strong!
 
i dont know how much longer i can stay strong. yeah ive thought about moving to the other side of the fucking country. but i dont have any money and ive never lived by myself. and even if i moved my problems would still be there.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top