alot to take in.

Kender

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I don't know where to start, so if I jump around a bit please don't hold it against me. Also I am sure I will be saying things that offend different people, not because I am trying to but because I am totally ignorant to the deaf/hoh community. I am not trying to offend anyone, so please forgive me and help me out so that I don't do it again.

I am 29 years old, live in the tampa fl area, and have had virtually no exposure to deafness of any degree. For years my wife has bugged me about not hearing her when she is talking to me but I just blew it off as tuning out her voice :) . For about the same amount of time she has complained about me listening to the t.v. too loud, again I blew this off as her just being a nagging wife:run:. Recently I got fed up with the nagging and decided to get a hearing evaluation just so I could prove her wrong. I knew they would ask me all kinds of questions about what I can and can't hear and what problems I have had, etc. So I started paying attention to my sense of hearing and making a mental note of anything that was note worthy. The hearing exam confirmed that I have a mild hearing loss, with ringing (tinnitus??). The audiologist also said that It would progressively get worse and there is no way to tell how bad or how quick it will deteriorate.

I will be getting hearing aids, the choice was left up to me. After a few days of telling myself that I could get by without them I realized that I really did need them because I was finding more and more situations that my hearing loss interfered with....this was only because I started to pay attention rather than blow it off. I am going to wait until nov./dec. since my insurance pays $1500 per calendar year for hearing aids, I can get one in nov/dec and one in jan. My delema is what to get. the audiologist said I could do any of the types from totally in the ear (deep in the canal) to a behind the ear model. She said the bte would have the most features (resound azure) and the best improvement due to 2 microphones to pick up the sound and multiple sound maps for different environments. I have a huge reluctance to get a hearing aid, or wear it around anyone other than family. Why? I know it's dumb, and maybe it's because I'm new to this, but I feel really self concious about having a visible hearing aid.

I am a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I realize that I have it better than alot of people with a more profound hearing loss.....but it's still really scary to know that after 29years of life I may loose my hearing at a steady decline over the next several years.

I don't know what to expect or what to do. I have always been intrigued by sign language, not in a carnival freak show sort of way but rather in an awestruck curious to learn sort of way. I see people in public signing and I can't help but stare, trying to see if any of the signs are obvious as to the meaning. I am not trying to be rude or anything I just happen to have a child like amazement/curiosity of things that pique my interest. I try not to judge a book by it's cover but rather by the story inside.

I have read alot of threads on here and I am even more confused than ever. certain terms/concepts seem alien to me. Example, d/Deaf ?????:dunno: Deaf of Deafs ???? People refering to the family as hearing but themselves as oral???? I just haven't grasped the vocabulary yet. Also after reading some of the stuff I am afraid of how I will be received. I am the new idiot on the block and socially inept (in reference to the deaf community), I will be making the dumb mistakes that are stereotypical of hearing people. Combine that with some deaf people's pre-disposition to not like a hearing person and I am afraid of being an outcast by both groups. I may be over analyzing things but like I said I am still in shock and overwhelmed like you wouldn't believe...and probably a bit depressed about it too.

I think part of my self conciousness is because I have had (and still do to some degree) the stereotypical hearing communtiy views of deafness/hoh as being a disability....like being in a wheel chair. I am not saying it's right, it stems from ignorance and I know that, I am just trying to explain all of my feelings and thoughts that are running around in my head and I need to let them out somewhere. I can't say anything to my family since I am supposed to be the strong one that holds it together. I want to feel comfortable with this new twist on my life. I don't like that I feel.....for lack of a better term...like a retard because I am damaged goods. ( I told you I would offend someone) I don't mean to tick anyone off, like I said, I just don't know how to put into words what I am feeling and the apprehension that I have.

Judging from everones good attitude on hear I would imaging that I will eventually come to terms with this, and accept that it is what it is.

My wife has a cousin that is profoundly deaf without his hearing aids, like he can't hear anything, since before he could walk. I only found this out recently and I have known him for about 6 years now. Either I saw his aids and just glanced over them without a thought or I never saw them, I con't remember which. He speaks as well as I do and he communicates verbally without any noticeable deficiencies. I'm in awe of the strength that he must have to have gone through the speech therapy, lipreading, etc. that he has done to get to that point. He is a very intelligent kid so I am not seeing this as a huge accompishment for someone of limited intellect, I see this as a huge accomplishment for anyone to have overcome.

I really do want to learn, and I hope to be able to pick up on a whole new world quickly enough that I am not in limbo for an extended period. Please go easy on me and don't pick apart my ignorance too much, I just really have no experience to guide me on the social ettiquite for this other community.


Sorry for the long first post, but I had alot to get out of my head, hopefully I didn't come off like too much of an a$$.


thanks for the help
 
:welcome: to AD! Dont worry about coming off as ignorant. At least u admitted that u dont know much about deafness and came here to learn more about it. Here, u will find so many people from all over the world who have experienced deafness whether themselves or loved ones. Many people will help u out with your questions.

I had to laugh at your comments about being confused by the vocabulary. I went thru the same thing when I learned about the Deaf culture 10 years ago even though I have been profoundly deaf since birth.

Deaf means someone who identifies themselves as culturally deaf and who uses ASL/spoken language/actively involved in Deaf culture and Deaf events.

deaf means someone who has a hearing loss so profound that there is little or no residual hearing. It is more of a medical term.

CI=Cochlear implants

HAs=Hearing Aids

oral=deaf people who grew up not knowing any signs (like me until I learned it 10 years ago)

Since I was born with deafness, I dont know what it is like to be in your shoes but I can only imagine so hope u will find some support and answers from AD!

Enjoy your stay here!
 
Thanks. There are times when I get distracted that I don't think about it, but as soon as my mind has time to wander I start freaking out about all this. It's one thing to learn another language (as I did partially with spanish) because you want to/need to, but to learn another form of communication and thought process because your loosing your only way to communicate is nerve racking to say the least. I guess what scares me the most is the unexpected, I have no idea what is coming.
 
Hello Kender

Welcome to alldeaf forum here. I understand your issues here. There is an organization in your area will help you. It's called ALDA, Assocation of Late-Deafened Adults. Here is the link you can click on to get more information you may need.


ALDA Suncoast (Index)
You may email Bill Reese for more details. I'm sure he can help you. Wish you a good luck!!!
 
Hello and welcome to Alldeaf! It can be understandable whereas you're about to be actually a part of a certain culture aside from the one you've been accustomed to and being unsure, frighten. I do hope as the days, years go by, you'll be able to adjust and adapt to any possible change postively. Just hang in there and be yourself. ;)

Also, hope you'll enjoy your stay here in AD! :)






:wave:
~RR
 
Thanks. I am already finding it easier to accept having to wear HAs, maybe my gadget loving side is overcoming the self concious side. I have found that the aids my audio is reccommending come in some cool colors so it won't be the typical shin tone colors. I also read that this particular model is bluetooth capable, which makes using the cell phone easier (one of the issues I have is with the cell). And the resound azure (az60-di) is rechargable so no batteries to mess with all the time. I would only have to change the batteries once or twice a year.

I still haven't been to any social events yet but that's a matter of scheduling, hopefully in the next 2 weeks I can go to at least one. I did take a look at the lifeprint website and in just the short time I was browsing I learned a few signs, deaf, speak, hard, again, learn, numbers 1-10, and the alphabet. Some of the signs make perfect sense, almost to the point that if you didn't know you could figure it out....like learn, speak, again, and maybe even hard. The alphabet was easy since after just a few minutes I remembered alot of the letters from elementry school. I ordered the cd so I can take it to work and learn there. This is just to hold me over until classes start in jan.

My concern is how other people that can hear kinda down play the hearing loss. Like it's not that big of an issue and if I can use HAs then it must not be that bad. They don't seem to understand the reality that it will get worse and that while I will probably always be able to use HAs to retain some of my hearing it is better to prepare for the worst just in case....otherwise your caught with your pants down and no way to communicate aside from pen and paper.

thanks for the support.
 
Hello,

I was in a smilar situation six years ago. I realized that I was deaf .. I am now 32. I too have had a progressive loss.. now in severe/profound range.. yes, you will have a lot of trouble in hearing world as your loss gets worse.. but you will develop a new world and learn to be more strong.. you will realize if your friends and relatives loves you at heart or not.. you will learn to view life in different aspects.. you will meet new wonders :)

As for hearing aids, I advise you get a digital BTE hearing aid of powerful ones with directional microphones..in case if your loss gets worse you can still use the aid.. Don't worry about cosmetics and appearance.. I wear two BTEs and most people don't notice them :)
 
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Hello,

I was in a smilar situation six years ago. I realized that I was deaf .. I am now 32. I too have had a progressive loss.. now in severe/profound range.. yes, you will have a lot of trouble in hearing world as your loss gets worse.. but you will develop a new world and learn to be more strong.. you will realize if your friends and relatives loves you at heart or not.. you will learn to view life in different aspects.. you will meet new wonders :)

As for hearing aids, I advise you get a digital BTE hearing aid of powerful ones with directional microphones..in case if your loss gets worse you can still use the aid.. Don't worry about cosmetics and appearance.. I wear two BTEs and most people don't notice them :)



Luckily my parents understand how bad it is because my dad has some loss due to working on Fighter jets for 10+ years in the Air Force. So they know how it can be. Right now I am in the mild range but some frequencies are right on the edge of moderate.

I have mixed feelings about this new wold that I am getting into. While it seems that everyone, no matter what thier differences, has a common link and understanding.....I am still the newbie and feel like such an outsider. I don't know what is considered polite or rude to ask in relation to when/how/what degree of loss. What ?'s can I ask and what can't I ask. Do I get a free pass on the stupid/offensive questions because I'm no longer a hearie but rather hoh? I am more confused with this transition than with designing logic circuits in micro chips.

I am definately looking at the bte aids. From what I am seeing there is more technology that can be stuffed into a bte that makes for a more natural sound with the HA. The bte that I am looking at is the third most powerful from that company. It covers up to 80db, the second most powerful covers to 95db but only after 2KHz, the most powerful covers from 25 to about 110db. My best hearing is on the border line for the low end of the most powerful and at the worst I am 40db so I should have several years before I need something that covers greater than 80db. I am fortuneate to have an insurance plan that covers so much of the cost...and then a supplemental discount plan that covers a decent portion above what insurance covers, so I won't have to fork over big $$$ to get a high end HA. About the only disadvantage that I have with a bte that most others don't is that I shave my head bald....so there is no hair to hide anything.
 
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