ChasingFreedom
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This passage is very emotionally driven and the whole thing makes more sense in context, but I really want to see what you think. Again, out of context it's confusing, but Brock and Kevin are the same person, he's just called both of them. Oh, this is copyright by me, and if you use it without my permission I WILL hunt you down and sue you. Thanks 
~~~
Dear Melany,
I’m writing this letter because there are some things that need to be said. I’m praying that you will read this and consider what I’m saying.
Listen… I didn’t… I don’t… God… I just want to say sorry. How can someone screw up an apology? Hell, I screwed up everything else. I can’t adequately explain myself. I’ve been wrong in just about everything I’ve done and I was hoping that this could be one of the few things that I’ve done right.
Like I said, I can’t justify… Myself. But I definitely owe you and I can’t make up for it, so this is really all I have to offer.
I guess I just wanted to be something. I never told you a lot about myself. I’ve always been ashamed of who I was. That’s partially due to my childhood. All the girls I dated actually wanted me. I’d never felt truly wanted before that. Part of it was also my poor sense of security. I knew that when someone left me, I’d always have someone else. I’m terrified of being alone.
Out of all the people I dated, I really looked up to you. I saw certain qualities in you that I’d never seen in anyone else. Qualities that I lacked. I wish that you could have seen your own qualities while we were dating. Maybe you’d have left me and I wouldn’t have been there to hold you back. Of all the things I’ve done, I feel the most guilty about keeping you from living a more fulfilled life. You are truly an amazing woman and I need to make absolute sure that you know this: you never deserved me. You never deserved to be brushed off as so often you were. You never deserved the disrespect that I gave you. You never deserved to be regarded as anything less than the best. You deserve the utmost respect and devotion.
I still look up to you and I think… I still love you, Mel. You may not believe it, but I’ve always loved you. So does Jeremy and he has only the best to offer you. You deserve each other.
And I write all this to ask for what I don’t deserve… Your forgiveness. I’m trying to change. Jeremy’s help has been amazing and forgiveness would be the perfect start to the rest of my life. Until I receive your forgiveness, I’ll be unable to forgive myself. Maybe we can both just move on. Whether I get your forgiveness or not, I need to hear your answer face to face. Think about it and we’ll get in touch.
Kevin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Melany’s anger melted away into bitter tears as she read the last part of the letter. She may’ve been crying, but she didn’t really believe that he was sincere. That is, she couldn’t believe the he was being sincere. It seemed like he really was torn up over the hell he put her through.
But the bastard really did put me through hell. He’s right; he doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.
Melany crumpled up the letter and threw it against the wall as hard as she could, only to hear the soft smack of paper against the wall. Obviously displeased with that quiet release of anger, she kicked the wall to hear a loud clunk, then fell to the floor crying in pain and fury. The fact that Brock had this affect on her only made Melany angrier.
He wanted to hear her answer face to face? So be it. She picked up the phone and gave called him. When asked where they could meet, she named the first feasible place that came to mind: The fountain.
*** *O* ***
Melany was pleased to see that Brock was the only person at the fountain. He was sitting on one of the stone benches with his head bowed into his hands. He was nervous!
Ego puffed up, she walked up to him until she stood directly in front of him. He glanced up at her eyes, as if trying to read them, then he looked away.
“Hey, Mel,” his voice was hoarse. “You aren’t here to forgive me, are you?”
“No, I’m not here to pretend I’m okay with what went down. I’m not here to pretend that I care about how much you are trying to change.”
“Then why the hell are you here?”
The question caught Melany off-guard and she stuttered as she searched for an answer. “Uhh, I… Well, why do you think I’m here?”
“I think you’re here to kick my sorry ass. But it is sorry.”
“I don’t care how sorry your ass is.”
Brock nodded solemnly. “So that is why you’re here. Melany, we’ve never even talked about what happened.”
“That’s because we both know what happened and no matter how much either of us tries to talk it away, it still happened. “ Melany looked down and mumbled, “Besides, we’ve both moved on.”
“Bull. If you’ve moved on, there’s no reason why you can’t forgive me. And if I’ve moved on then there’s no reason why I’d give a damn about your forgiveness. But I haven’t, and I do.”
Melany’s voice rose, “Okay, you really want to talk about this?”
He stood up and now his tone matched hers, “Yes, I really want to talk about this.”
“I hate what you did to me. I hate the hell you put me through. I hate you and all that you stand for. Or all that you didn’t stand for. I hate how I waited around for you only to find out that you were in some slut’s bed enjoying yourself while I was alone, wondering if you were okay and kinda wishing you weren’t.
“And not that I give a damn about your childhood, but it sure seems to me that every piece of crap you had to go through as a kid was the same crap you inflicted upon me. How the hell can you claim to have loved me through all that you put me through and all that I still go through because of you?” Melany drew in a shaky breath and continued in that same shaky manner, “I always used to wonder what it felt like to be held and caressed when I was hurting. I never found out…” A lone tear clung to her cheek. It, stubborn as she herself, refused to run down her face. But soon it would give way just as she herself did.
Kevin placed his hand around Melany’s shoulder, “I’m so s-“
“Just shut up and hold me,” she murmured as she stepped into his arms and rested her head against his chest. She could feel his heart beat; at first it raced, but it calmed down to a slow study thump as he enveloped her in his arms.
“I really did love you, Mel.”
She squeezed her eyebrows together as she reflected. “I loved you, too,” her words, though muffled by his chest, were still heard and understood.
~~~
Dear Melany,
I’m writing this letter because there are some things that need to be said. I’m praying that you will read this and consider what I’m saying.
Listen… I didn’t… I don’t… God… I just want to say sorry. How can someone screw up an apology? Hell, I screwed up everything else. I can’t adequately explain myself. I’ve been wrong in just about everything I’ve done and I was hoping that this could be one of the few things that I’ve done right.
Like I said, I can’t justify… Myself. But I definitely owe you and I can’t make up for it, so this is really all I have to offer.
I guess I just wanted to be something. I never told you a lot about myself. I’ve always been ashamed of who I was. That’s partially due to my childhood. All the girls I dated actually wanted me. I’d never felt truly wanted before that. Part of it was also my poor sense of security. I knew that when someone left me, I’d always have someone else. I’m terrified of being alone.
Out of all the people I dated, I really looked up to you. I saw certain qualities in you that I’d never seen in anyone else. Qualities that I lacked. I wish that you could have seen your own qualities while we were dating. Maybe you’d have left me and I wouldn’t have been there to hold you back. Of all the things I’ve done, I feel the most guilty about keeping you from living a more fulfilled life. You are truly an amazing woman and I need to make absolute sure that you know this: you never deserved me. You never deserved to be brushed off as so often you were. You never deserved the disrespect that I gave you. You never deserved to be regarded as anything less than the best. You deserve the utmost respect and devotion.
I still look up to you and I think… I still love you, Mel. You may not believe it, but I’ve always loved you. So does Jeremy and he has only the best to offer you. You deserve each other.
And I write all this to ask for what I don’t deserve… Your forgiveness. I’m trying to change. Jeremy’s help has been amazing and forgiveness would be the perfect start to the rest of my life. Until I receive your forgiveness, I’ll be unable to forgive myself. Maybe we can both just move on. Whether I get your forgiveness or not, I need to hear your answer face to face. Think about it and we’ll get in touch.
Kevin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Melany’s anger melted away into bitter tears as she read the last part of the letter. She may’ve been crying, but she didn’t really believe that he was sincere. That is, she couldn’t believe the he was being sincere. It seemed like he really was torn up over the hell he put her through.
But the bastard really did put me through hell. He’s right; he doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.
Melany crumpled up the letter and threw it against the wall as hard as she could, only to hear the soft smack of paper against the wall. Obviously displeased with that quiet release of anger, she kicked the wall to hear a loud clunk, then fell to the floor crying in pain and fury. The fact that Brock had this affect on her only made Melany angrier.
He wanted to hear her answer face to face? So be it. She picked up the phone and gave called him. When asked where they could meet, she named the first feasible place that came to mind: The fountain.
*** *O* ***
Melany was pleased to see that Brock was the only person at the fountain. He was sitting on one of the stone benches with his head bowed into his hands. He was nervous!
Ego puffed up, she walked up to him until she stood directly in front of him. He glanced up at her eyes, as if trying to read them, then he looked away.
“Hey, Mel,” his voice was hoarse. “You aren’t here to forgive me, are you?”
“No, I’m not here to pretend I’m okay with what went down. I’m not here to pretend that I care about how much you are trying to change.”
“Then why the hell are you here?”
The question caught Melany off-guard and she stuttered as she searched for an answer. “Uhh, I… Well, why do you think I’m here?”
“I think you’re here to kick my sorry ass. But it is sorry.”
“I don’t care how sorry your ass is.”
Brock nodded solemnly. “So that is why you’re here. Melany, we’ve never even talked about what happened.”
“That’s because we both know what happened and no matter how much either of us tries to talk it away, it still happened. “ Melany looked down and mumbled, “Besides, we’ve both moved on.”
“Bull. If you’ve moved on, there’s no reason why you can’t forgive me. And if I’ve moved on then there’s no reason why I’d give a damn about your forgiveness. But I haven’t, and I do.”
Melany’s voice rose, “Okay, you really want to talk about this?”
He stood up and now his tone matched hers, “Yes, I really want to talk about this.”
“I hate what you did to me. I hate the hell you put me through. I hate you and all that you stand for. Or all that you didn’t stand for. I hate how I waited around for you only to find out that you were in some slut’s bed enjoying yourself while I was alone, wondering if you were okay and kinda wishing you weren’t.
“And not that I give a damn about your childhood, but it sure seems to me that every piece of crap you had to go through as a kid was the same crap you inflicted upon me. How the hell can you claim to have loved me through all that you put me through and all that I still go through because of you?” Melany drew in a shaky breath and continued in that same shaky manner, “I always used to wonder what it felt like to be held and caressed when I was hurting. I never found out…” A lone tear clung to her cheek. It, stubborn as she herself, refused to run down her face. But soon it would give way just as she herself did.
Kevin placed his hand around Melany’s shoulder, “I’m so s-“
“Just shut up and hold me,” she murmured as she stepped into his arms and rested her head against his chest. She could feel his heart beat; at first it raced, but it calmed down to a slow study thump as he enveloped her in his arms.
“I really did love you, Mel.”
She squeezed her eyebrows together as she reflected. “I loved you, too,” her words, though muffled by his chest, were still heard and understood.