Have you as a deaf person who lives in hearing world (I'm talking about if you don't have any deaf friends nearby like I didn't...) always got left out of conversations, friendship, parties, etc.? How do you cope with it? It makes me angry and depressed whenever my coworkers would hang out or throw parties and I'm not invited. I've even acknowledge them that I know about the party but they then lied about there being no party or coworkers aren't going there (particularly no one I know) and then I find out next day that all of my coworkers and a lot of friends I know went to this party. Or then when my coworker got fired and she was crying and upset, I offered her to take her out to the beach just to take her mind off things. She was so glad and said yes..: then later when I was ready to pick her up after i got off work, she said never mind she's out with two of my coworkers and ahem, she never invited me. I feel very hurt by this and every time I know that I'm always being left out. I know of course it's because I'm deaf. So how do you cope with that?
Being left out of friends and parties
- Thread starter 95mainer
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It sounds like the people you work with are just jerks. If they are excluding you just because you are deaf, than they are the type of people who will exclude anyone for any particular reason. To be completely honest, I wouldn't want to be friends with them or try to be at that point. Is there another way for you to get to know people in your area that aren't from your work? Could you volunteer somewhere?
I'm HoH and exclusively been in the hearing world my entire life. My friend group consists of people who knew me before my moderate hearing loss diagnosis and those who knew me after.
I'm HoH and exclusively been in the hearing world my entire life. My friend group consists of people who knew me before my moderate hearing loss diagnosis and those who knew me after.
sonocativo
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Play the game, Tell them theres a Bar, free beer and all at 6pm and dont go...see who talks to you then then say oh yeah, you decided not to go, because you didnt think anyone would come... you were buying...lol.
LOL!!! This totally made my night... After I turn 21, I'm definitely going to try this!!! But honestly I've tried to throw a party myself... Invited all of my coworkers. They said they will come. And guess what? Yep, no one showed up or even answer my texts. That pisses me off.
I've tried to social with people I grew up with, church, outside life socials but nothing works. It's frustrate because I don't have any deaf friends around here or anywhere for that matter.
Bebonang
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It depend where the location you are from. So where are you living in? If you are living in small town, then you are stuck. If you are living in big city, then you might have a chance to be in the Deaf events if you know ASL (American Sign Language).
If you have never been in the Deaf Community (my guess is that you have never sign ASL). So hopefully you can take ASL class in the city and learn how to sign ASL. After you learn all that, then you might go to the Deaf events so that you can communicate with other Deaf people.
As for hearing co-workers, that is hard to believe that they would reject you for not going to parties or dumping you for someone else (two or more). That is not fair on what they are doing to you. Maybe you might think about finding another job where there is deaf friendly to work with and to enjoy having friendship with including having a parties or asking a co-worker to go to the beach and not get rejected.
I call your co-workers as Audists which mean that they are not friendly and very rude to you just because you are deaf.
Or in another way of thinking that you might have offended them by having you being so needing for trying to be with them. It is good to ask them without being needing to be with them. It is like puppy wanting to be friends with them. I don't know. That is my opinion. **hmmm**
If you have never been in the Deaf Community (my guess is that you have never sign ASL). So hopefully you can take ASL class in the city and learn how to sign ASL. After you learn all that, then you might go to the Deaf events so that you can communicate with other Deaf people.
As for hearing co-workers, that is hard to believe that they would reject you for not going to parties or dumping you for someone else (two or more). That is not fair on what they are doing to you. Maybe you might think about finding another job where there is deaf friendly to work with and to enjoy having friendship with including having a parties or asking a co-worker to go to the beach and not get rejected.
I call your co-workers as Audists which mean that they are not friendly and very rude to you just because you are deaf.
Or in another way of thinking that you might have offended them by having you being so needing for trying to be with them. It is good to ask them without being needing to be with them. It is like puppy wanting to be friends with them. I don't know. That is my opinion. **hmmm**
Frisky Feline
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Yeah that does happen. I chose deaf friends to hang out with. I don't go with them except very special celebration I'm going. I didn't read your own. How old are you and where are you from?
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What about making friends with people who you don't work with? It is always a bad mix to socialize with people from work because drama gets brought to the workplace. At my job (it is new and it is my 3rd month there), several of my co-workers are very close and they socialize outside of work. Before getting the job, I made the goal that these people will not be my friends and I wont socialize with them. Well, that was made easy because they seem to avoid me like the plague because I am deaf. Works for me. I just go to work, do my job, and go home.
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I know this feeling, as HoH (right ear severe/profound, left ear mild/moderate). I live in a small town, I moved here because my husband at the time liked it here. He was military while we were married and so were all of our friends. Now they have all moved to other military places so I have no friends left here. I don't get invited to hang out with co-workers like many others I work with do either, even though I have worked with them for more than two years now. Sometimes I consider moving to a big city, but I dont want to make my hearing son change schools now that he's a junior in High School. Also, I don't think I can afford the costs of living in a big city as I can barely afford it where I am. I cope by trying to focus my energy on other things like drawing, painting, reading or online chat with old friends I met from a game I used to play years ago. It's still very lonely feeling and depressing though.
First of all, I live in small town actually, south west michigan and I go to northern Indiana every week for an ASL social where people want to learn sign language. That's the only thing I've had in my life, and I just started going few weeks ago.
And trust me, I'm not begging them... I told them there'd be people, beer, music and all that fun stuff they love... I just don't understand why they see me differently.
I agree that it's bad to social with people from work... It's very stressful at work and sometimes we tend get upset at each other but honestly I don't have much other than than my life.... I was homeschooled and didn't make any friends. At church, there's no deaf and no one notices me. I guess I'm expert at flying under the radar sometimes.
JillyBean.MI
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You're working in as what some would call a "toxic work environment". I've been there and HAD to quit for the sake of my mental and physical health. It usually doesn't get better the way the are treating you. My advice to you is get outta there soon as poosible and find something else to do. Working at a job that brings you down isn't gonna do you any favors in the long run
Frisky Feline
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Oh, Are you a college student?
Nope. Full time job and passion for photography and web design. Taught myself everything
Frisky Feline
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Thats awesome. Im sure someone who had experiences with photography and web design from here. I hope they can give you some tips. Keep coming here and find something that interests you. 
what kind of pictures do you you usually take? people or animals or objects>?
what kind of pictures do you you usually take? people or animals or objects>?
Thats awesome. Im sure someone who had experiences with photography and web design from here. I hope they can give you some tips. Keep coming here and find something that interests you.
what kind of pictures do you you usually take? people or animals or objects>?
Well I consider myself a freelancer so I like to try hundreds of different things. I'm on Instagram you can see my work. @thecalebnoonan.
I recently started using this deaf app yesterday and I'm loving it!
Frisky Feline
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Cool. I will ask my 13 yrs old daughter to show me where I can find your pictures. I m on IG as well. I dont know how to find someone else LOL.
Deaf app? what is that?
LOL its the button bottom left of the middle one on screen then type my username.
I meant this app, alldeaf.com