Any hard-of-hearing ppl raised in the hearing world?

[deafdyke]

Don't go down the road again. I am sick of having new devices making hearing people especially AGBell and hearing parents thinking and hoping for a cure in making the deaf hear clearly. It does not work that at all. All you have to do is accept yourself and immerse in your deafness. You need to go on the deaf or hard of hearing journey to accept your deafness. Embrace your deafness. The problem with you is you want to be like the hearing people very badly. That is what make us sad about it. We have been trying to teach hearing people to accept us the way we are, not the new devices like CIs or hearing aids. I am sorry for you when you are not facing reality about it. If you want to get mad at me, fine with me. Go ahead.

Exactly. We don't need more devices.......we need more AFFORDABLE devices.

 

[deafdyke]

So many of these stories are breaking my heart!


I went on to become (and please don't hate me!!!!) a speech therapist. :Oops: I have worked extensively with children who are deaf and HOH. I really wanted to be a teacher for the deaf. By reading all of your posts, I understand even more how my students feel, or the everyday problems they face. Recently, one of my 12-year-old HOH students (with hearing aids) sat and cried for 45 minutes, because all of his problems, he felt, were because of his "stupid ears" and "stupid hearing aids" and because he "couldn't hear right."

Although I am working now in a public school setting, we have quite a number of hearing impaired students. I am happy to be able to help with resources for hearing aids, FM systems, with out-of-district placements, and yes...even speech (good speech sure comes in handy)!! We have just placed one of our students at a school for the deaf, and will be placing another soon. Some of our hearing-impaired students are made fun of and it kills me inside. I usually teach my HOH students some sign, just to open up their worlds a bit larger. I can sign pretty fluently, and my best friend is deaf. Sometimes I feel much more comfortable around people who are deaf and HOH. I guess part of it is because of my dad, and maybe partly because I love sign...and reading sign, especially with speech, allows me to get EVERY word in a conversation! More often than not, it seems, people who are deaf or HOH are just more loving and friendly!

I know this was a while ago......but yes.......your experience with HOH kids of today shows the same old thing is STILL going on. Really sad. WHY is it that HOH kids are automaticly placed in the mainstream/hearing world with little to no exposure to Deaf stuff? I mean SO MANY of them could benefit both socially and educationally......I do think something like 95% of HOH kids could STRONGLY benefit from attending a mainstream dhh program.
It's about ableism.....thinking that "normal" stuff is better then disability/ special stuff.....and it's SO freaking DUMB. Dhh kids should get a full toolbox right from the START. Maybe if we did we would have LESS kids like that 12 year old boy........don't HOH kids deserve to feel good about who they are? They are just as Deaf as someone who is severe/profound voice off.....the only difference is that they can artificially "hear"....which isn't even close to hearing person hearing...AT ALL!

 

[Anij]

I have 2 hearing aids that are "supposed" to "correct" my hearing loss.

Hearing aids don't "correct" hearing loss - no audiologist or d/hh person would ever claim they do. Perhaps you need to have a meeting with your family and your audiologist so they are better able to understand the limitations of hearing aids and that you will ALWAYS be Hoh (not hearing), even when wearing "perfectly fitted" hearing aids.

 

[Dienekes]

I was the only HOH person in my family and I never knew any deaf people - still don't know any personally. I grew up alone so now that I'm in my 50's I'm used to it.

 

[sonocativo]

I am in the hearing world. I don't know any deafies. Only here now. My mom fought many battles when I was in school. She paved my road.

As far as background noise, directional mic's seem to really make a difference.

What I am getting into now is my 4 yo son who knows when I take my hearing aids out for the evening. I can not hear w my aids out. He talks in my ear. It's so cute! If there is an unfamilar sound, I just look at my son and he tells me what or where it came from. My 2.5 yo, on the other hand, WILL NOT talk in my ear. She elbows me when I try to get close and ask her to repeat. I am not sure what to do w/ her.

I have the kind of loss that is flat/linear so if it's loud enough, I hear it (this is when my aids are off). I consider myself lucky to have this kind of loss.

I am very friendly but I am a homebody. College teachers knew I would meet with them at least once a week to review so that I knew if I heard them right.

I used to try to control my environment. I don't do that anymore because that was kinda making me a bit batty. I go with the flow as much as I can. If I am at a social function or family gathering and am lost in conversation, I go away. If people are not going to include me, I go off and do something by myself until I can get the F out of there and go home. That might make me a snob but listening is so tiring. If it has nothing to do w/ something that is beneficial, especially financially, then I just let it go.

I haven't the slightest idea why I married my exhusband. There were so many red flags that I chose not to see. He is a redneck who is mean. He suckered me into the relationship. He put me down when I couldn't hear him. He refused to repeat himself anymore after a year of marriage. He faked sign to me so many times. He just did whatever he could to bring me down. I figure it was a way to make himself feel better, I guess. I am so very happy I got out.

Since the divorce, I know now if you can't hear, that doesn't make you any less of a person. If anything, you have a greater connection to the universe BECAUSE you can't hear. There is an internal 'noise' that hearing people will never hear/feel.

Here at the middle of my life, I am starting to look back and I see many affects my hearing impairment has had on my life. (what other word do I use other than h.i.?).

It is cute when our children talk in our ears, My son is going on 3 yet he communicates with basic ASL.
I am going through the same thing with my soon to be ex-wife, she as well as her teen kids are just total A**es when it comes to my hearing, everything was cool at first, the first year was great, then I got injured (always had the hearing problem ) after surgery I was pretty much laid up a year recovering with constant pain from spinal surgery.. Glad Im getting out but going to be a slow process for me.

 

[sageandcandle]

Yes, I have had issues with my ears for some time. It started when I was 20. I just found this week that I have Menier's. I am fluent already in ASL through deaf friends. I even thought of pursuing a career in interpreting. That is not going to work now. Such is Life. Now, I move forward.

 

[Ryssie]

I've found that people (hearing) don't really want to know what it's like, just how it will affect them. It comes off a lot like a sob-story honestly.

I feel that way sometimes too! I've had APD all my life and other LD's and PD's that are always a challenge. In elementary school, I mainly had issues processing and sometimes the class was loud enough to not hear others. When gr.9 came, there were way more people in high school which became even more difficult to concentrate. I've also been in Spec. Ed all throughout elementary and still in high school, and I often feel like the odd one out. I told a new friend once, about my APD, and astonished, she said, "Oh really, but you're smart!" :roll: Does she honestly think that people who learn differently aren't smart? Another time, I was working and a customer came in and yelled at me because I messed up the order because I couldn't hear or understand him over the loud blenders, he then called me dumb and another customer asked if I was 'slow'. But one I am most peeved about, is when I recently began to advocate for myself (after many years of feeling embarrassed of my LD) and told a friend of my APD explaining to her that I am functionally HOH and I can't process language the way she does. Knowing that I was learning sign language and Deaf culture, her response was: "You just want to be deaf." All because she heard 'Hard of Hearing', she thought I wanted a pity party or something. Needless to say, I've had plenty of experiences where people in general just don't understand. Although, I must admit that there are friends and family who do understand and stick up for me. I've felt like I've had to prove to everyone that I have APD because I feel like no one will believe me, now that I'm trying to advocate for myself instead of 'keeping it a secret'. I'm now looking for an FM system, which my English teacher suggested. Sometimes advocating for yourself can be a rewarding experience.

Sorry for the long message, I just needed to talk to someone who may understand what I'm going through.

 

[albnsc67]

I was born with a middle ear defect that made me HOH. I was in mainstream school during the 70's early 80's. there was no special ed classes and I didn't know any other kids with hearing problems. I was constantly bullied by kids and belittled my some relatives. I never had friends and even now at 45 I still don't have friends. For some reason I was curious about deaf people when I was little but I never knew of any. I just recently started to learn ASL since I have always been interested in learning it.

I have been trying so hard lately to feel accepted. I know my childhood could have been a lot different. so far the few deaf people I have tried to sign with have been open with my beginning attemps at ASL. but it does feel like I don't fit in anywhere.
I sorta hope that learning ASL will help me with my confidence and self-esteem.

 

[deafdyke]

I was born with a middle ear defect that made me HOH. I was in mainstream school during the 70's early 80's. there was no special ed classes and I didn't know any other kids with hearing problems. I was constantly bullied by kids and belittled my some relatives. I never had friends and even now at 45 I still don't have friends. For some reason I was curious about deaf people when I was little but I never knew of any. I just recently started to learn ASL since I have always been interested in learning it.

I have been trying so hard lately to feel accepted. I know my childhood could have been a lot different. so far the few deaf people I have tried to sign with have been open with my beginning attemps at ASL. but it does feel like I don't fit in anywhere.
I sorta hope that learning ASL will help me with my confidence and self-esteem.

I think it will help you a lot....and believe me you're not alone. The social emotional aspect is a HUGE reason why so many HOH and oral deaf kids eventually learn ASL. There are lots of us here! Remind me to KILL the person whose bright idea it was to maximum mainstream HOH kids.
I mean yeah, you might not have needed a School for the Deaf, but you could have benifited from a dhh program or going to Deaf camp or something.........

 

[DeeAnna]

Im hoh. Its tougher than most people realize. Socially, you get left out a lot.

And there is some truth to the second class citizen remark. Cuz youre the one with the problem. Everyone is normal except for you.[/QUOTE
this is my life ................

 

[albnsc67]

i also agree with the second citizen comment. I feel like a second citizen twice with my hearing loss and being a lesbian.

 

[chelseautie82]

Wow! There are so many of us....I had no idea....I was born HoH and grew up in hearing world and institutions for mentally handicapped/foster care. It was a nightmare. I never learned to speak well, so I am still considered nonverbal and was diagnosed autistic. Signing comes naturally to me so I am taking college classes in ASL now and choosing to sign and have interpreters in school etc... Unfortunately I've had to be on SS and haven't found a place in the world. I still get DD services as autistic/nonverbal (there were times in my life I was verbal but not enough to classify me as verbal) but now that I am signing I will probably have a lot more doors open to me. For me definitely would have been better to grow up in Deaf school. For first time I have a Deaf teacher in ASL class and now I learn about all kinds of things I never knew, cause I just never had access to the language in the same way. My brain is Deaf even though my ears do hear some things. I can't keep up with spoken conversation. That's my experience. I haven't always been welcomed into the Deaf community though. Many have been welcoming others have not been. So I am still really isolated. I have mostly had to teach a lot of hearing folk how to sign so we can communicate better rather than having to write everything down. If I try to talk to them they assume I can hear or that I am stupid and it gets hard. So I prefer to make Deaf friends and hearing friends who sign.

 

[Ryssie]

Yes, I have had issues with my ears for some time. It started when I was 20. I just found this week that I have Menier's. I am fluent already in ASL through deaf friends. I even thought of pursuing a career in interpreting. That is not going to work now. Such is Life. Now, I move forward.

Actually, there are Deaf interpreters! I'm still planning on becoming an interpreter (or deafblind intervener) despite I'm functionally HoH. You can do it, I'm sure there are programs available for interpreting from the deaf...actually the head professor for interpreting at my college is ! Never let go of your dream, aspire to push through the hurdles, you can do it! I believe in you.

 

[Ryssie]

Exactly. We don't need more devices.......we need more AFFORDABLE devices.

Agreed!

 

[dogmom]

Ryssie and chelseautie82,

I'm hoh and spoke very late, have speech problems..born premature. Doc's told my parents that I had missing inner ear bones. I was in Special Ed for Speech and Language. I did n't learn to tell time or count money til high school and have always thought more in pictures. I was surprised to learn that not everyone thinks that way. Not diagnosed with learning disability til I self-referred to Disabled Student Services during college. I kept failing remedial college math. I have also always had issues with processing verbal instructions or other information but didn't know about processing disorders when I went to Disabled Student Services, or I would have tried to find that out too.
It's easier for me for me to sign than speak though I'm certainly not fluent, not at all. I was introduced to the Deaf community when I worked with Deaf kids and adults in a recreational summer program during college. I've taken ASL classes with Deaf teachers and the first time, took one with a hearing - hearing one sucked. That was the first official class and I didn't know enough at the time to really ponder it but looking back at other teachers who were Deaf - both formal and just people I've known, I can see the differences.

 

[chelseautie82]

Dogmom-

Wow, yeah I can really relate to your experiences. I also didn't learn basic math or to count or follow simple instructions or anything till high school I couldn't read even when I was 13 and I still get confused with anything with instructions. I just finally learn to write fluently, but signing better than speaking and I'm not fluent in either. I also think in pictures I didn't realize others didn't think this way. I also always thought that everyone had to guess at words hearing people were telling them I just thought they were better at it than me! I was born with no hearing in one ear but wasn't really identified till later on (this was before all the newborn screenings etc) and since I hear out of my other ear no one realized that I can't understand speech. If you give me an audiogram alone I will pass it in my good ear. It's just that my brain doesn't orient to sound the same way hearing people do. If someone waves a hand in front of me I immediately turn to them or if someone points to something I immediately turn to what they point to. I didn't learn to speak till I was much older which is the main reason I got the autism diagnosis. Hearing people don't turn to look at references. They immediately respond to sound. My brain is deaf. I have noticed that it takes a LOT of effort for my brain to try to decipher what people are saying. I mostly lipread and then try to listen to whatever I hear and then try to piece it together as best I can but I still mostly rely on body language and facial expression. I guess a lot. I'm not fluent in ASL but it has taken away the guessing game for me. I do still sometimes have difficulty processing fluent signers signing fast enough but the more I sign and I am exposed to it the faster I get. I definitely think in a couple of years this can be a real possibility for me to sign fluently. I have been working hard at it. But since I'm autistic that is how I qualify for interpreters and stuff. My hearing loss isn't considered "severe" enough to get that so I would never be able to sign and have protection under the law if it weren't for the autism diagnosis. I've always had disability services even when I was very young but it sucks that people haven't been concerned about what works for me and rather only concerned with how they feel, what they want- like they can't imagine a world where I don't speak. For me, that's all I imagine. There's a huge gap. I know that for some HoH people speaking makes sense, it's what feels natural to them and I think that's fine for them. But it isn't true for all of us. I wish the Deaf community would be more welcoming of those of us who choose to sign. I don't necessarily think that we have more access or are more privileged than them. In a lot of ways we are more disadvantaged because they had community, they had shelter from the hearing world. There was a sense of safety in their community, they knew there were other people like them growing up and they had people to turn to to learn things from in their language. People like me didn't have that. I didn't even HAVE a language. It is important for HoH people to get a choice for some, Deaf school may be better for them. It just depends. Oral shouldn't always be forced.

 

[VacationGuy234]

Wow! There are so many of us....I had no idea...

There are many more of us than there are late deafened and born completely deaf, yet we are not as organized.

 

[dogmom]

chelsea
u think in pictures too - wow! For a long time I just assumed that was what everybody did. I watch people's hands and body language too very closely.
The Deaf community where I am has been very welcoming for me.
Audiologically I have a mild "loss" but I relay on visual information, intuition and body language to get the best understanding and often feel alone in the hearing world.

 

[chelseautie82]

Dogmom-

Wow! Me too. I also have a "mild" hearing loss audiologically but have chosen the Deaf world. My brain just isn't hearing, never has been. I don't understand speech very well. I always have to get people to repeat themselves all the time and I speak weird. People often don't understand what I'm trying to say and it's not really a practical way for me to try to communicate. I just say I have a Deaf brain. LOL! I wish I was more fluent in ASL. I'm going back to college to take more ASL class and deaf culture classes. Hopefully meet more people etc. The college says that a lot more hard of hearing students are learning ASL these days and they are even offering a new Deaf studies degree for folks like me and anyone else interested who may not be able to do interpreting but want to study ASL and possibly use it in their life or work. After just one day of not speaking and only using ASL and writing to communicate I pretty much knew that's the route I was going to choose for myself. I really just don't belong in the hearing world. The more ASL I learn the better my visual processing skills get and the more I can compensate for other issues with hearing. I feel more myself. Cool to see someone else doesn't feel they belong in the hearing world. I feel like everyone I see is criticzing me for not using the speech I learned through all the speech therapy I had growing up. I frankly think it was a huge waste of time and money! LOL

 

[Ryssie]

Ryssie and chelseautie82,

I'm hoh and spoke very late, have speech problems..born premature. Doc's told my parents that I had missing inner ear bones. I was in Special Ed for Speech and Language. I did n't learn to tell time or count money til high school and have always thought more in pictures. I was surprised to learn that not everyone thinks that way. Not diagnosed with learning disability til I self-referred to Disabled Student Services during college. I kept failing remedial college math. I have also always had issues with processing verbal instructions or other information but didn't know about processing disorders when I went to Disabled Student Services, or I would have tried to find that out too.
It's easier for me for me to sign than speak though I'm certainly not fluent, not at all. I was introduced to the Deaf community when I worked with Deaf kids and adults in a recreational summer program during college. I've taken ASL classes with Deaf teachers and the first time, took one with a hearing - hearing one sucked. That was the first official class and I didn't know enough at the time to really ponder it but looking back at other teachers who were Deaf - both formal and just people I've known, I can see the differences.

dogmom and Chelseautie82
As you know, I was born very premature as well and mute till 5yo. I was in and out of the hospital most of my life and was always fascinated with the Deaf culture. I was in spec. ed. my entire school life, was diagnosed with APD (among other LDs) when I was 7. I hear with my eyes and think in movie format. haha! My mom is unilaterally deaf, but is culturally hearing, however she loves Deaf culture and helps me in any way she can. I was in language therapy as a kid, which gave me a foundation for writing, however my eyes wander when I read so it takes longer to process. I've always had trouble with math and still have trouble with multiplication and division. I do better processing instructions when someone shows me exactly how to do it, but if it's verbal, even when detailed, I still have trouble understanding. I need to be told one or two things at a time rather than six or seven like most people. I find it A LOT easier to express my ideas when I sign rather than talk because I feel auditory dyslexia goes both ways. Not only does the message get mixed in the process when going into my brain, it also gets mixed, coming out. That is, my thoughts jumble together when I speak, as they would when I hear. It's fun to meet people that share similar experiences with me!