impact on the upbringing of deaf people

Frisky Feline

Frisky Feline

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Deaf can be either HOH, hearing loss or whatever the sound is fading out.

I have notice that some of you who have hearing problem and grew up, certainly have self issues and the result was the adult people have constantly remind themselve that they are not happy because they can't hear or being deaf.

I wonder what cause it? Well, It's MY opinion is that is how the parents or any relatives or whose people treat deaf kids this way and then the deaf kids become adults and have self issues about being deaf such as turn their worlds upside down.


I had to ask, because I did not have problem with the way my life goes in the majority of hearing people but you?
 
Well I don't have any problem with being deaf at all. However I am aware that I have to be prepare to work twice as hard to get what I want and I always start with a big disadvantage until I can prove myself which I've done numerous times. That's because I choose to live in hearing world and prefer to stay there.

I believe I am this way because my family is hearing family and I mainstream my whole life. So I feel more comfortable in hearing world than deaf world. I treat my deafness as a "scar" that remain from a disease and it doesn't bother me at all. I just shrugs and say "at least I survived and am living a decent life"

However there are a couple things in my life that I cannot help but ask myself "what if?" and it does sometime bothers me, but... That's normal part of life. The important thing is I am really happy with my life. Everyday I wake up look forward to the day and can't wait to see what is up ahead.
 
RabidLamn, do you have any friends who are deaf or hard of hearing?
 
I mainly wish that my parents were given more options and had more knowledge when I was diagnosed. I also wish they thought more about possible hearing loss when I did not speak until age 3 or so. Because I struggled to understand people and mostly could not understand my family, I was left out a lot. I then turned "inward" and was made to feel inferior. I still feel this way. I go through great periods of feeling that I can't do anything right and am always looking for someone to tell me I did good. I feel like I am mostly in the hearing world, due to family and lack of time for anything with the deaf community here. If we get to move, I will be spending more time with the deaf community. If my MIL dies and we stay here, I will spend more time with the deaf community. My family now is more supportive with the exception of my MIL

I totally feel that given the lack of information my parents got, and the lack of information I got in the intervening years until I found AD, has caused me to be a very insecure person who is subject to anxiety issues.
 
Frisky Feline said:
Deaf can be either HOH, hearing loss or whatever the sound is fading out.

I have notice that some of you who have hearing problem and grew up, certainly have self issues and the result was the adult people have constantly remind themselve that they are not happy because they can't hear or being deaf.

I wonder what cause it? Well, It's MY opinion is that is how the parents or any relatives or whose people treat deaf kids this way and then the deaf kids become adults and have self issues about being deaf such as turn their worlds upside down.


I had to ask, because I did not have problem with the way my life goes in the majority of hearing people but you?
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You hit the nail on the head. Kids are given the message, even when it is not spoken directly, that to be deaf is to be less than. Often parents do things in a well meaning way and don't even understand the message the child gets from it. The kids then internalize those messages, and apply them to themselves.
 
jillio said:
You hit the nail on the head. Kids are given the message, even when it is not spoken directly, that to be deaf is to be less than. Often parents do things in a well meaning way and don't even understand the message the child gets from it. The kids then internalize those messages, and apply them to themselves.
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Parents get it from the medical establishment, too. That is where it starts. The ME has taught that it is better for the child to rely on their weakest sense and to speak (thereby conforming to the majority) than it is to take a more holistic approach and foster an approach that involves relying on the child's strengths.

It is important to give a child language that they can acces. That is all. Once they have access to language, everything else can fall into place....later.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Parents get it from the medical establishment, too. That is where it starts. The ME has taught that it is better for the child to rely on their weakest sense and to speak (thereby conforming to the majority) than it is to take a more holistic approach and foster an approach that involves relying on the child's strengths.

It is important to give a child language that they can acces. That is all. Once they have access to language, everything else can fall into place....later.
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Agreed.
 
KristinaB said:
I mainly wish that my parents were given more options and had more knowledge when I was diagnosed. I also wish they thought more about possible hearing loss when I did not speak until age 3 or so. Because I struggled to understand people and mostly could not understand my family, I was left out a lot. I then turned "inward" and was made to feel inferior. I still feel this way. I go through great periods of feeling that I can't do anything right and am always looking for someone to tell me I did good. I feel like I am mostly in the hearing world, due to family and lack of time for anything with the deaf community here. If we get to move, I will be spending more time with the deaf community. If my MIL dies and we stay here, I will spend more time with the deaf community. My family now is more supportive with the exception of my MIL
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I feel the same as you are, but I finally accepted my Deafness later on in my early adulthood and I am more embracing Deaf community with my opening arms. That's why I am totally against oral only method because I had struggled to deal with hearing people for years. I made a decision myself and use more signs than speaking orally to make hearing people to realize I am Deaf. It works every time.
 
Oddball said:
I feel the same as you are, but I finally accepted my Deafness later on in my early adulthood and I am more embracing Deaf community with my opening arms. That's why I am totally against oral only method because I had struggled to deal with hearing people for years. I made a decision myself and use more signs than speaking orally to make hearing people to realize I am Deaf. It works every time.
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Many, many oral deaf children end up embracing the Deaf community once they enter adulthood. It's a shame that it would take them this long though. They really have missed out on a lot.
 
Frisky Feline said:
Deaf can be either HOH, hearing loss or whatever the sound is fading out.

I have notice that some of you who have hearing problem and grew up, certainly have self issues and the result was the adult people have constantly remind themselve that they are not happy because they can't hear or being deaf.

I wonder what cause it? Well, It's MY opinion is that is how the parents or any relatives or whose people treat deaf kids this way and then the deaf kids become adults and have self issues about being deaf such as turn their worlds upside down.


I had to ask, because I did not have problem with the way my life goes in the majority of hearing people but you?
Click to expand...

I do have self issues, but I think it's more about MYSELF and not actually being deaf. I don't know, I've been like this ever since my early teens. I always hated certain things about me, including my deafness at times but there's really nothing I can do about it.
 
Banjo said:
Many, many oral deaf children end up embracing the Deaf community once they enter adulthood. It's a shame that it would take them this long though. They really have missed out on a lot.
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Yes, indeed. That school I attended is still in oral only system and I was not notified about Deaf events outside my HS. I found about Deaf community right after I graduated. Geez. :roll: If Deaf kids in my school who have Deaf parents, sure, they already know about Deaf events ahead. (without modern technology). Oh, well.

At least, I am happy with my :deaf:.
 
Many, many oral deaf children end up embracing the Deaf community once they enter adulthood. It's a shame that it would take them this long though. They really have missed out on a lot.
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AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish there was some way we could reach out to them, but then you'd have the hardcore oral parents yapping that it's parental choice, and we're criciticzing their choice :roll:
 
Even if parents cant let go of that hope that their kid will "talk" i wish they would at least expose children to ASL and Deaf culture as well as speech therapies and whatnot. then once their kids are older they can make the decison themselves. i know full immersion is better if possible but if the parents are at least willing to meet halfway, at least thats something.

i see a lot of bitterness in late-deafend adults of a young age as well, i always hope they will grow to learn how wonderful the culture is and that while they are missing things they once had, they are gaining things too.
 
Banjo said:
Many, many oral deaf children end up embracing the Deaf community once they enter adulthood. It's a shame that it would take them this long though. They really have missed out on a lot.
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I think that is one of the common experiences in so many of the people who now embrace Deaf Culture. I hear so many times from adults, "Damn! Why didn't someone tell me about this sooner?"
 
Frisky Feline said:
Deaf can be either HOH, hearing loss or whatever the sound is fading out.

I have notice that some of you who have hearing problem and grew up, certainly have self issues and the result was the adult people have constantly remind themselve that they are not happy because they can't hear or being deaf.

I wonder what cause it? Well, It's MY opinion is that is how the parents or any relatives or whose people treat deaf kids this way and then the deaf kids become adults and have self issues about being deaf such as turn their worlds upside down.


I had to ask, because I did not have problem with the way my life goes in the majority of hearing people but you?
Click to expand...
i think thats true,i grew up with hearing friends and was always diffrent and that can cause low self esteem,im fine now though
 
planetdoodle said:
i think thats true,i grew up with hearing friends and was always diffrent and that can cause low self esteem,im fine now though
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That is good to hear. If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to overcome the self esteem issues? You may have some coping skills that could help others.
 
jillio said:
That is good to hear. If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to overcome the self esteem issues? You may have some coping skills that could help others.
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Well social sites like these help alot,you have to meet people like u and realise that u have a gift
 
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