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Okay, I got a circular that has a bunch of jokes, I will share a small collection of them.
1. It's OK, but....
Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Reports say that the food is good but there is no atmosphere!
2. The Perfect Job
"You never get anything right," complained the teacher. "What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?" "Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV."
3. That's tough
Calvin sees Elmer and asks: What's up? Elmer says; first I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis, and pneumonia. After that I got erysipelas with hemachromatosis. Following that I got poliomyelitis and finally ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations. Calvin says: Boy, you had a tough time! Elmer replied: I'll say! I thought I'd never pull through that spelling test.
4. Q & A
What do you call an intelligent, attractive, sensitive man?
A rumor.
5. Exercise at work
Sign on company bulletin board: "This firm requires no physical fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck."
6. Say it with Flowers
A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read, "Say It With Flowers." "Wrap up only one rose, " he told the florist. "Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."
7. Tomatoes
Doctor: "That's a big slash cut on your head. How did that happen?"
Boy: "My sister hit me with some tomatoes."
Doctor: "That's incredible. I can't imagine how any tomatoes would make a cut like that."
Boy: "They were still in the can."
8. Who Do We Call?
One night a husband and his wife were sleeping and suddenly the wife woke up. "Dead, there's burglar eating the cake I made downstairs!" said the wife. "So, should I call the police or the ambulance?" said the husband.
9. Just an Education
Teacher: "What is the outer part of a tree called?"
Pupil: "I don't know sir."
Teacher: "Bark, boy, bark."
Pupil: "Woof-woof."
10. Boy & Girl
There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl. Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl!" Then the girl goes "How do you know?" Then the little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves." So about 10 minutes later, the nurse leaves. So the boy lifts up his gown and goes......"See, I have Blue Booties, and you have Pink!"
1. It's OK, but....
Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Reports say that the food is good but there is no atmosphere!
2. The Perfect Job
"You never get anything right," complained the teacher. "What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?" "Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV."
3. That's tough
Calvin sees Elmer and asks: What's up? Elmer says; first I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis, and pneumonia. After that I got erysipelas with hemachromatosis. Following that I got poliomyelitis and finally ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations. Calvin says: Boy, you had a tough time! Elmer replied: I'll say! I thought I'd never pull through that spelling test.
4. Q & A
What do you call an intelligent, attractive, sensitive man?
A rumor.
5. Exercise at work
Sign on company bulletin board: "This firm requires no physical fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck."
6. Say it with Flowers
A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read, "Say It With Flowers." "Wrap up only one rose, " he told the florist. "Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."
7. Tomatoes
Doctor: "That's a big slash cut on your head. How did that happen?"
Boy: "My sister hit me with some tomatoes."
Doctor: "That's incredible. I can't imagine how any tomatoes would make a cut like that."
Boy: "They were still in the can."
8. Who Do We Call?
One night a husband and his wife were sleeping and suddenly the wife woke up. "Dead, there's burglar eating the cake I made downstairs!" said the wife. "So, should I call the police or the ambulance?" said the husband.
9. Just an Education
Teacher: "What is the outer part of a tree called?"
Pupil: "I don't know sir."
Teacher: "Bark, boy, bark."
Pupil: "Woof-woof."
10. Boy & Girl
There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl. Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl!" Then the girl goes "How do you know?" Then the little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves." So about 10 minutes later, the nurse leaves. So the boy lifts up his gown and goes......"See, I have Blue Booties, and you have Pink!"
