Explain This To Me

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
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Man used <bleep> to assault female police officer
A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.

see bold red print above. explain how did his wing-wong reach to her face. either he has a long ding-dong or this female officer must be a midget. :dunno:
 
The police officer must have been sitting down. The accused was standing over her.

In a similar incident, a man who ejaculated on a woman while she was asleep on a airplane was arrested. I don't know if I can ever fall asleep on a plane after hearing that story.
 
Assault is attempted, offensive touching. Battery is actual contact. I would consider a man sticking his penis in my face threatened offensive touching. That's assault. Battery would have occurred if he had been successful at wacking her in the face with his penis.

In a similar incident, a man who ejaculated on a woman while she was asleep on a airplane was arrested. I don't know if I can ever fall asleep on a plane after hearing that story.

OMG! The dangers that are out there that I never even considered!
 
Yea, who expects a guy to be jacking off next to you on an airplane!
 
see bold red print above. explain how did his wing-wong reach to her face. either he has a long ding-dong or this female officer must be a midget.


:funny: :rofl2:
 
Please see where he got to his feet? The inebriated jerk stood on the couch. Lithuania may have small apartments?

I rather think the original idea is stranger though.
 
After checking similar stories.

She sat down on the couch next to him. Then he got up, standing over her attacking her with his penis.

:ugh:
 
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