Writing About a Deaf Person

[mimblexwimble]

I'm writing a short(ish) story about a person who becomes deaf in their mid-twenties. I live in a country where my only resource is the internet and I'm not lucky enough to know anyone deaf (or hard-of-hearing) personally, so I'm turning to you for help. I want to portray his deafness realistically and respectfully and I don't want any of the characters to come across as thinking a deaf person is only worth "fixing". But I also want to be able to deal with the emotional/psychological affects of becoming deaf, of finding out someone in your family is deaf. I don't expect my character to get up and be suddenly okay with everything - I mean, there's got to be steps to accepting it and being proud of it, right? He's not perfect.

So, my most important question is, if any of you became deaf in your adult life, how did you deal with it? My character's deafness is relatively sudden - what would his emotional state be? I can imagine, but in imagining, I'm afraid of getting it wrong. What were the downpoints like - were there downpoints? How long did it take you (or how long do you think it would take) to accept it - were there other lifestyle changes aside from learning ASL, or having friends and family members learn it?

If there's anything else that might help me, I'd love to hear your input. Any help would be greatly appreciated. (I'm sorta at your mercy. )

 

[TWA]

No offense, mimblexwimble, but about ten "writers" come through a month asking exactly the same questions as you. Of course, every one of them is careful to explain, "I want to be accurate and respectful of Deaf culture, blah blah blah," but what you need to realize is that when hearing people come in here expecting to get all these answers and then just move on without hanging around to get to know this place or the people in it, etc, it just makes us feel like lab rats and unwilling to help you. Your approach, no matter the noble intentions, is disrespectful by default.

Really, all you need to do to find all the questions to your answers is just peruse through the massive amount of information on this site. There is even a sticky thread dedicated to late-deafened issues. Look around, it's not hard

 

[Bottesini]

No offense, mimblexwimble, but about ten "writers" come through a month asking exactly the same questions as you. Of course, every one of them is careful to explain, "I want to be accurate and respectful of Deaf culture, blah blah blah," but what you need to realize is that when hearing people come in here expecting to get all these answers and then just move on without hanging around to get to know this place or the people in it, etc, it just makes us feel like lab rats and unwilling to help you. Your approach, no matter the noble intentions, is disrespectful by default.

Really, all you need to do to find all the questions to your answers is just peruse through the massive amount of information on this site. There is even a sticky thread dedicated to late-deafened issues. Look around, it's not hard

You said that so much more respectfully than me Professor! (Sadly I had to go shoe shopping.)

 

[TWA]

Ah, and see I was afraid I was coming off as too scolding. I'm grumpy today. I have my own story to write about being deaf and I've got writers block.

You said that so much more respectfully than me Professor! (Sadly I had to go shoe shopping.)

 

[mimblexwimble]

No offense, mimblexwimble, but about ten "writers" come through a month asking exactly the same questions as you. Of course, every one of them is careful to explain, "I want to be accurate and respectful of Deaf culture, blah blah blah," but what you need to realize is that when hearing people come in here expecting to get all these answers and then just move on without hanging around to get to know this place or the people in it, etc, it just makes us feel like lab rats and unwilling to help you. Your approach, no matter the noble intentions, is disrespectful by default.

Really, all you need to do to find all the questions to your answers is just peruse through the massive amount of information on this site. There is even a sticky thread dedicated to late-deafened issues. Look around, it's not hard

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'd been through some threads before posting this (in the communication forum) and after I posted I went through some more and saw someone saying something about people asking questions for survey's, etc. I thought about deleting this and then decided I actually deserve what I get, so left it in place. Thanks for not beating me with me own thread.

 

[Bottesini]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'd been through some threads before posting this (in the communication forum) and after I posted I went through some more and saw someone saying something about people asking questions for survey's, etc. I thought about deleting this and then decided I actually deserve what I get, so left it in place. Thanks for not beating me with me own thread.

We are very loving people who will give you gentle direction. (or the moderators will hurt us. )

 

[CJB]

In short, don't write about a Deaf character. Write about a character who happens to be Deaf. Write about the character you have in your mind, where being Deaf is an integral part of their character but not the only part.

 

[Bramus]

we are very loving people who will give you gentle direction. (or the moderators will hurt us. )

 

[shel90]

We are very loving people who will give you gentle direction. (or the moderators will hurt us. )

Botts is right..we are a very loving and welcoming community. If not, our butts will get whipped big time.