Asexuals Push for Greater Recognition

[rockin'robin]

In a society obsessed with sex, David Jay wants no part of it.

Jay, a 26-year-old graduate student at the Presidio School of Management in San Francisco, acknowledges that his lack of interest in sex may seem unusual to many who view intercourse as the epitome of intimacy.

But research suggests that about 1 percent of the population may share Jay's view on sex. And he said that for many of these people, coming to terms with their feelings about sex can be a major challenge.

"When I was younger, the message I would always hear is that you need sex to be happy," he said. "I realized probably around the age of 14 or 15 that all of my friends were actively talking about sex. I just couldn't relate to it; I had no interest at all."

Jay said that it took him about four years of struggling to adjust to the fact that he simply did not view sex in the same way as most other people.

"It was really scary, really frightening," Jay said. "I think that throughout the asexual community, there are a lot of people who really start in that place of being isolated and confused."

Jay says it's his choice not to engage in sex. To be sure, there are millions of other people who have no interest in sex or are unable to perform sexually who are not at all happy to be members of this club. For them, a variety of psychiatric and medical procedures are available.

But asexuals like Jay are perfectly happy to take a pass on sex. Today, Jay is one of the most prominent voices in the asexuality community. In 2001, he started the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) with the aim of providing a community for people who identify themselves as asexual.

And he said that while one of the primary aims of the group is to foster a greater general understanding of asexuality, this does not mean that there should be less talk about sex. In fact, he believes more such talk is needed.

"The problem is not that there is too much discussion about sex; 99 percent of the world really, really likes sex, so it is something that should be talked about openly and honestly," Jay said. "But we need to have more discussion about how people can not have sex and still be happy."

Recently, Jay and others within AVEN began lobbying for greater understanding of asexuality among the psychological community as well. Their message is simple: they want increased recognition of asexuality among psychological professionals -- while ensuring that it is seen as a legitimate sexual orientation rather than diagnosed as a mental illness.

The group's current goal is to foster greater understanding among the architects of the new version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is scheduled for release in 2012. The DSM, which is published by the American Psychiatric Association, provides diagnostic criteria for mental disorders.

Asexuality researcher Lori Brotto, assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, is one of the medical experts working with AVEN toward this goal. And she said it is little surprise that this confusion exists -- not only in the clinical realm, but among the general public as well.

"Because asexuality is a relatively new phenomenon that has been described -- not that it hasn't existed for many, many centuries -- people don't understand what it is," Brotto said. "Because most people can identify with the feeling of sexual attraction, the notion that someone would not have sexual attraction toward anyone seems bizarre."


The 'Missing' Sexual Orientation
Hints of the existence of asexuality have appeared in the scientific literature since the 1940s. But it was not until more than a half century later that Anthony Bogaert,
professor and chair of the department of community health sciences at Brock University in Ontario, Canada, took a closer look at those who professed to have no sexual attraction whatsoever to either men or women.

Bogaert's 2004 study is viewed by some as the first solid toehold for asexuality in the spectrum of sexual orientation -- a group which until recently had been comprised only of three categories: heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. In it, Bogaert looked at data from a survey of more than 18,000 British residents and examined their answers on a particular question on sexual attraction to others. While five of the possible answers to the question focused on varying levels of attraction to males or females, the sixth answer that respondents could choose read "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all."

"About 1 percent of individuals reported having no sexual attraction to anyone at all," he said. "This was the missing fourth category of sexual orientation."

What followed this finding was much discussion over whether asexuality should be seen as a distinct sexual orientation or treated as a pathological condition -- a debate that largely persists until today.

Prior to this research, and even until today, asexual tendencies were generally assumed to be a sign of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) -- in other words, a low sex drive. It is a distinction with which the psychological community still wrestles.

Asexuals Push for Greater Recognition - ABC News

 

[deafdyke]

You know......I wonder if some asexuals are themselves buying into the hype about sex.
It sounds like a lot of them think that if you're not turned on by everyone in general, you must be asexual.
There is probaly a significent population of legitiamate asexuals.
Like I'm not turned on by every girl or guy out there. I can't imagine even doing for example the fuck buddy thing (even with a friend) But the reason I love Hannah and want to make love to her, is b/c she's Hannah. I feel nothing (except mild friendship) for other girls, including other gay girls.

 

[deafdude1]

I know alot about asexuality. I will say that ive met some "asexuals" who incorrectly labled themselves but they were really just celibate, temporarily lost their libido or weren't virgins by choice. I do believe plenty of true asexuals exist and perhaps there should be an asexual spectrum as some asexuals are more asexual than others.

 

[rockin'robin]

I know alot about asexuality. I will say that ive met some "asexuals" who incorrectly labled themselves but they were really just celibate, temporarily lost their libido or weren't virgins by choice. I do believe plenty of true asexuals exist and perhaps there should be an asexual spectrum as some asexuals are more asexual than others.

I agree with you. There are some women who were molested, even raped at a young age, who became adults and sex basically "makes them sick"!....Then there are women who have been "used" repeatedly for just sex, while they were looking for love....they just shut down and become celibate.

 

[shel90]

What about married couples who stop having sex and lose interest in it altogether? Would they considered to be asexuals?

 

[deafdude1]

I agree with you. There are some women who were molested, even raped at a young age, who became adults and sex basically "makes them sick"!....Then there are women who have been "used" repeatedly for just sex, while they were looking for love....they just shut down and become celibate.

True asexuals repress nothing and they were never abused/molested. They simply have no sexual orientation. Men and women interest them about as much as looking at a tree. Not only are asexuals automatically celibate, they have zero desire to lose their virginity and don't feel they are "missing" what never interested them to begin with.

I know of people who incorrectly lable themselves as "asexual". One woman said she used to sleep with lots of different men(aka slut) then decided oneday that her lifestyle was unhealthy so she decided to be "asexual". The correct term was "celibate" and should never be confused with "asexual"

I read of another woman who married and her husband insisted on "making love"(a misnomer, he wanted physical pleasure) almost everyday. She said they did the deed over a thousand times total. One day she said enough was enough and she had a serious talk with him about his selfish, lustful desires and that she never had any interest but submitted to her wifey duty just to please him.

A week of unsuccessful attempts to get his wife to submit, he gave up and filed for divorce. She took half his money and also said she will never marry again and that men are just selfish, lusty pigs who marry for lust, not love. She considers herself asexual saying she not once ever had any desire herself and only did so to satisfy him and keep him but it reached a point where she had enough of his selfish desires.

Ive read around and the concensus is that women are naturally asexual with few exceptions while men are naturally sexual with few exceptions. This holds true for almost all species of animals, where it's the male who persues the female in order to mate her. Human males strive for physical pleasure(aka mating) while females desire emotional pleasure(aka romancing) you can turn on women by cuddling, kissing and feeding her chocolate.

What about married couples who stop having sex and lose interest in it altogether? Would they considered to be asexuals?

Nah and that's common as the male gets older and loses his libido/drive. An asexual male would retain his virginity for life. The marriage would never be consumated. An asexual female would not need to be aroused or do anything but just lay there motionless in bed with eyes closed. An asexual male would not achieve an erection so the deed could not be consumated.