How To Avoid Someone Like This?

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Loghead

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I have a question for anyone who is willing to help me out here. There is a guy at my school who was a friend of mine for maybe like a month or whenever he was in a good mood. I will be completely honest when I say that when he is in a good mood, he's a nice guy. He frequently has freak outs and uses too much obscene language for my liking (I know I sound like a nerd here :P, but I don't mind being around people who swear because most people do it (I don't swear often at all... I don't really like the negative connotations associated with them), but I get tired of hearing one swear after another every second). He always gets mad at me for no reason, lies repeatedly, calls me names and makes fun of me. He said that "hearing aid people" were "retarded" and told me that I would never get a part time job because of it. After that comment he made, I was angry because it is something that I take incredible offense to. I gave him three chances... and if he blew all three then there would be no reason for me to keep him as a friend. Needless to say, he broke all three in less than a couple weeks. The problem is, the last time I said that I was done with him and that I would avoid him I caved in because he gets all "nicey nicey" and is quite apologetic. I do not want to give in this time... I don't want to be around him anymore or talk to him anymore... but today here he comes all apologetic and everything for his third strike and I just nodded and walked away. I'm afraid that I will give in again because I am a pretty nice person. :lol: However, I don't want to because I know I will end up with the same negativity and I don't want to deal with him at all. Any advice?
 
Laugh......smile....and walk away!....Becuz it sounds as if this guy has problems that needs a professional to solve....I, too, dislike profane language...and if anyone told me to my face that "I was a retard because I wore a HA...."....he might be minus a few teeth!....
 
I can only think to smile politely and say you are busy. He may give up if he isn't getting any reinforcement, either positive or negative.
 
I have to agree with Botts. Anyway, the "friend" is kind of a nerd and jerk to me. That is no way for him to treat you like that to belittle you and degrade your life as a Deaf person, even with hearing aid. Yes, he has a problem with his negative altitude and nobody would want to be around him if he carrying on like that. Yes, it is better to walk away from him and don't worry about being nice to him or give in to him if he was or is apologetic to you. This relationship is not going to work and he will never change no matter how you hope that he will change his altitude. I hope that you can find someone far better a lot nicer and kinder with a positive altitude, not negative altitude. I am giving you a hug. :hug:
 
Thank you Bebonang. :) It is for sure not the right way to treat a friend. You're exactly right, I should not even think of staying around him or even listen to his apologies. Belittling me as a hard of hearing person was definitely one thing I did not stand for and could not stand for. I was told to tell him that if he doesn't keep away from me I should report him to the principal. I have witness after witness that could veg for me too.
 
Loghead said:
Thank you Bebonang. :) It is for sure not the right way to treat a friend. You're exactly right, I should not even think of staying around him or even listen to his apologies. Belittling me as a hard of hearing person was definitely one thing I did not stand for and could not stand for. I was told to tell him that if he doesn't keep away from me I should report him to the principal. I have witness after witness that could veg for me too.
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You are welcome. I hope he won't bother you no more after he find that he can not have you anymore. :hmm: :hug:
 
Funny; this sounds exactly like an abusive relationship. "Honey, I'm so sorry. It will never happen again", then later, more abuse, either verbal or physical. The "hearing aid people" comment would have been enough for me. This guy is what I politely call a clod, a clown, a prick, or I can use the real term, an asshole. Just act like "retarded" people would, and rest assured he will steer clear. No way he will associate with such "losers".
 
Yeah, the "hearing aid people" comment was the last straw for me. He claims that I am his "best friend" and he told someone else that "we will be friends again in 4 days time, just like always." :roll: Not this time. You're right, SWK, he is an a**hole and I don't want to be associated with him. :)
 
Loghead said:
Yeah, the "hearing aid people" comment was the last straw for me. He claims that I am his "best friend" and he told someone else that "we will be friends again in 4 days time, just like always." :roll: Not this time. You're right, SWK, he is an a**hole and I don't want to be associated with him. :)
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He has known you a month, and you are his best friend? I got an idea here. Let him borrow a small amount of money, like $5 or $10. Then pester the crap out of him for repayment. My guess? He will vanish. It is a small fee to pay for good riddance. This comment says it all: "we will be friends again in 4 days time, just like always." That is very scary thinking on his part. Maybe it has worked for him all along. Let you be the one that shows him the door.
 
I plan to do just that, SWK. He actually just sent me an email right now (I blocked him off MSN, Facebook and other means of communication). It is as follows (I have blocked out some of the names mentioned:

Hey -----,
What is up sorry dude i have one question..
All i need is an answer so i fix so many fuck ups of mine.... im so stupid.... like what a total fat ass.
Dude i need to know that we can work on fixing our friendship.. cuz now i am all alone... ur mad at me... j------ wont say a word to me..... v------ told me to fuck off and etc. b------- doesnt want to ...
So my question is... What did i lie to you about? U told v------- something that apparently i lied to you about...... i cant remember? can u help me?
Just please reply even if u dont want to help but reply and say that cuz i dont want to so mad checking my email every half and hour for the summer!

Thanks, your deeply sorry friend
----

P.S. Sorry for calling you a douche bag and wasting our friendship..... hope we can work on it!

:roll: (I can't even understand some parts of the email :lol:)
Can you see what I mean? :P
I do not plan on replying to this email. Any other advice?
 
I would turn my HA off or take it out when the jerk was around and walk away!

Famous Deaf Writers

Kenny Walker - Was a deaf professional football player.

Stevie Platt - The deaf author of the books Go to the Hill and The Last Servant.

Connie Briscoe - A modern deaf author who became deaf in her 20s
.You could made a list of all the famous deaf people and show it the idiot!
Here are a few . I am going to check them out , I never heard of any of the writers.
 
Sorry for calling you a douche bag and wasting our friendship..... hope we can work on it!
He is a nutcase, no doubt. He makes it sound like a relationship. What do YOU need to work on? He calls YOU a douche bag and YOU need to work on it? The only reason he wants to "work on it" is to continue to verbally abuse you. Tell him straight out that it ain't gonna work. If you feel like being helpful to him, you can point out all the stuff that has happened. He will probably insult you some more. There is no way that I would hang with this guy. No easy way to tell someone to screw off, but that is what is needed. I am sure he knows the drill by now.
 
After reading all of this .... What he had done to u is very cruel and horrible ! This is not an act of a friendship . He is doing alot of mind games with u making u get confused . I would not put up with that . He did wrong to u . I am glad u are strong enuff to stand up and say no more . The Hearing Aid people comment is very cruel thing to say . What's more he showed lack of respect for u . He cannot respect for who u are then he is not a good friend for u . I am sorry he had treated u that way .It s terrible wrong of him to treat u that way .
 
saywhatkid said:
Sorry for calling you a douche bag and wasting our friendship..... hope we can work on it!
He is a nutcase, no doubt. He makes it sound like a relationship. What do YOU need to work on? He calls YOU a douche bag and YOU need to work on it? The only reason he wants to "work on it" is to continue to verbally abuse you. Tell him straight out that it ain't gonna work. If you feel like being helpful to him, you can point out all the stuff that has happened. He will probably insult you some more. There is no way that I would hang with this guy. No easy way to tell someone to screw off, but that is what is needed. I am sure he knows the drill by now.
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LOL! :lol: Yes, he is a nutcase. Yeah I completely agree with you. Pursuing a friendship with him would just put more negative thoughts in my head and make me feel worse. I will ignore the email and avoid him when I see him... and if he tries to come talk to me (because he'll see me on Tuesday) I will tell him that I don't want to have any sort of discussion with him and walk off. He'll probably tell me that I'm "immature", but I could care less.
 
sweetangel said:
After reading all of this .... What he had done to u is very cruel and horrible ! This is not an act of a friendship . He is doing alot of mind games with u making u get confused . I would not put up with that . He did wrong to u . I am glad u are strong enuff to stand up and say no more . The Hearing Aid people comment is very cruel thing to say . What's more he showed lack of respect for u . He cannot respect for who u are then he is not a good friend for u . I am sorry he had treated u that way .It s terrible wrong of him to treat u that way .
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You're right, it is definitely not an act of friendship. And I feel that mind games is the perfect way to describe it. One minute he's all happy and in "let's just be friends" mode, but the next minute he's in nasty "I hate you" mode.
 
Another one was sent to my Hotmail account just 5 minutes ago:

----- can you just drop me a line... i wanna know if we can work things out..... i know i fucked up.... and im eating every last thing ive done.... so please just reply!
----

It's actually getting kind of annoying. I bet he sends another one before the end of the night. :roll:
 
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