If you were me, Would you report ?

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Kalista

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Couples are my best friends of mine, they went on Deaf Cruise this week! I had so strange feelings. Andrew (my beloved husband) guide me to drive down to their house instead of grocery shopping. I arrived their house and saw older son approach me when I drove onto the driveway. He was so upset because their parents did not pay the electricity and gas for the heat.

I was perplexed because I never understand why would my friends do this to their two boys. Naturally, I was very furious because I am a mother of two boys. I do not raise like that to my two sons to pay the bills on time. Older son was so upset because the fridge was not on for two days due to rotten the food, milk, etc... The boys ages are 15 yrs old and 3 years old. I saw my friend's mother (from south). I am so suprised, she did not report or contact with police or DSS for assistance at all for two days. I contact my son for his advice, he came over to talk with this woman to find out why she did not call police or anyone for help.

Other friend of this couple, my son and I figure out for two hours to make this woman (friend's mother) and two boys to go someone else (relatives's place). The lady refuse to take our advice. I said, okay.. it is your choice to leave this house to stay with someone else's house who has the heat, electricity and food or we will call hotline Neglect Department Social Services. The lady was extremeley upset and called police. Three polices came over and told us to leave. The police said, the children and lady need to leave the house that night if not they will contact DSS.

I really hate to get involve under this circumstance. I know, my best friends couple will hate me and other people. I am protected two children than adults. I don't understand why they spend $5,000 dollars on Deaf Cruise instead of pay other bills.

They spent thousand dollars on Quixter business too like travel rent car, hotel, new clothes, etc... They use children's social security checks 780 dollars per month to spend on other things instead of children.

It is really DISGUSTED what kind of parents they are... Oh gosh, other lady, my son and I really PISSED off at them... It breaks my heart to see two boys sit in dark, cold and rotten food for two days...

Did we right thing to contact the school and DSS ? Would you report on your best friends if they treat their children improperly ?
 
I think that if a parent makes the choice of vacation over their duty to take care of their child then yes you did the right thing to report them!!!! Who in their right mind goes away and leave the utilities unpaid??? Those children deserve better!!! That makes me so mad to hear that:pissed:!!!!
 
You've had every right to look out for them and report the mother.

This consitutes as ground for removal of the boys. I hope their situation will improve. I doubt the mother will change.

Yep, I'd dob the parents in.
 
I am very avocate and support children .. I would have gone to make reports on them.. whats more.. its not healthy for the kids to have rot food hang in air.. and no elec, water, etc.. how they need to go bathroom. ?I am not allow them sit and wait for their parents come back ..
the parents are responsible to make sure everything are set and good for the kids.. if they cant afford but have tickets or planned to go on trip.. either drop the trip and take care of the matters at home and kids.. OR, find the way to prevent what happen like assistance to help cover some bills before leave for trip.. but.. boy's grandma should have help some too.. she also responsible for taking care of the boys.. :/

sad to see that.. i know its hard to do this even they are your best friend but they need to know that kids come first..
 
Ah I have to agree with the rest of the people here, it a such a good idea to report them and protect the interest of that child. Children is always need our protection to protect them from cruel parents that don't treat their child right.
 
Yes, it need to be reported.

About 10 years ago, there was a bad family living across from us. My mom became very suspicious of that house. The couple (now divorced and moved out) had two children, all boys. One was a bit older than me, and other one is a few years younger than me. The older boy was around 17, 18 and he looked like 11, 12 due to malnourishment. It could be the clue that the parents were too negligent enough to feed their own children.

Anyway, one time, my mom noticed that the cars which belonged to the parents were not at the driveway for as long as a month. She noticed the kids were still living in that house, but without parents. Missing cars, aren't that obvious, you think? Once in every couple weeks, the father would come and check up on them. Maybe give them some money. WTF? I later caught the youngest one climbing out of the house when he needed to go someplace else then came back. WTF again. They had no keys at all! They had no parents! That was evidently sufficient for my mother to report on their parents for negligent. Without hesitation, she called the agency and filed the report.

It does not matter if it's not your friends' children or your families' children. Regardless who the children belong to, whenever a negligence happens and you happen to caught it, please call the agency ASAP.
 
I would in your shoe, I would call DSS...that is not very FAIR to the kids!! They are not supposed to be SUFFER in cold, hungry, and in the dark! Poor kids! I would take them with me and call DSS, explain the situation and why you took the kids with. And have them meet you at your house and take the kids with them or I don't know if they would let you keep the boys till parents back. Their parent is CRUEL and think of them selves not the kids!!! I always think of my kid first before me. I make sure if my kid need something, then me and my husband can get something we needed. And why don't they stay with someone else while they go on trips not alone?! I would not do that! I would ask my mom or my in laws or trust worth friends (can stay their house if they are in Rochester) to come to our house and stay with my son if we go on trip alone. I would give my mom or in laws the money just in case...and fill up the fridge and make sure bills are paid before we leave, so that we don't worry about anything while on the trip. TSK TSk at the parents!!!!

I am so grateful that your hubby guided you to their house instead of going to grocery store! You and your hubby sure have a big heart for kids!
 
I do not blame you for calling DSS and School!!


What s wrong with parent! :roll:!

I have daughter who 3 years old and cant leave her live alike that! :(
 
I am in the same shoe with you right now. The couple is deaf and I have know them for many years. I dont consider them as a friend but problem couple which I wont get involved with. The DSS are in involved with them and she lost her house and will have to move out in a few week

You did the right thing and Children do come first before anything.
 
Yes, you were right to get help for the children.

This is my viewpoint--you want to help the children, not hurt the parents. If your heart was wanting to help the children, not to punish the parents, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. If the parents don't understand that, and if they want to break off the friendship, that's their fault, not your fault.
 
This is terrible indeed... in this case, the parents werent even smart enough to ensure the bills and etc has been paid off and that sounds like the parents dont even care about their kids or the house, only about the trip?? geez time to toss the parents into the slammer and the kids can get a warmer place with someone else who would be caring enough to take care of the kids... oy.. that ticks me off big time...
 
Oh gosh! I feel bad for children. Children come first! Shame on their parents gone and spend lot of $$ on the cruise than children's needs. If I were u, yes, I will report them. Make parents wake up and realize that u do care about children.
 
Kalista , you did the right thing to protect the children bec your heart was in the right place. Nothing is more important than caring for the children bec they are innocent and not their fault for having parents who feel a trip is more important than children especially a 3 year old what were they thinking? You did the right thing.
 
I add my support for you, Kalista. As another said, you are not reporting to hurt the uncaring parents but to help the uncared for children.

The parents made their choice to misappropriate (steal) the public money they got specifically for child care. The children have already suffered. Now it's the parents turn. I hope the court makes them pay every penny back to those kids who will be placed in a better environment.

We can be sure a lesser evil will be that we deafies will get more bad publicity for this.

Chase
 
That is so hurtful, I feel really bad about that and it is not our fault. It is their one who are wrong and if they blame us for it then they are doubly wrong, what they did was irresponsible and horrible. It is childish, they are not children, and they are parents. They should have known better, it is the children reached out to us for help and we helped them. It was terrible story on Halloween's night... I felt so bad because two boys had no Treat or Trick this year... it was horrible hurtful for them to see their parents go away on Deaf Cruise for ten days... using their social security checks... I am so disappointed in them, I always thought - they were such good parents. I don’t understand why, they would do that.

I keep telling them to pay on their propriety bills like electric, heat, rent and credit cards but they keep ignore the debts. If they are mad at me, they are wrong irresponsible and probably criminal, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn’t wind up going to jail or being charged or having the children taken away from them all of those are possible. I could not let the children without heat. It is horrible situation as I did the right thing to call Dept Social Service and report 51A neglect with intake consultant. I just let go of it now... let the police and DSS handle it, the children endangerment, I can't leave a 15 year old and 3 year old, go away they can't... That is against the law to allow grandmother 70 years old and two young boys in the house dark and cold for almost three days.

I will have been preparing when the parents will come home from cruise next Monday, they will hate me... I do not take their personal, I am support their children's sake...

Kalista
 
I understand how you feel...

If I was in your shoe, I don't care if parent hates me..I think kids come first! You sure prepared it very well when they gets home on Monday. TSK TSK at them!

Oh I didn't know 70 years old grandmother is there also. That's good but no heat, or rotten food or no lights...not good!

:hug:
Kalista said:
That is so hurtful, I feel really bad about that and it is not our fault. It is their one who are wrong and if they blame us for it then they are doubly wrong, what they did was irresponsible and horrible. It is childish, they are not children, and they are parents. They should have known better, it is the children reached out to us for help and we helped them. It was terrible story on Halloween's night... I felt so bad because two boys had no Treat or Trick this year... it was horrible hurtful for them to see their parents go away on Deaf Cruise for ten days... using their social security checks... I am so disappointed in them, I always thought - they were such good parents. I don’t understand why, they would do that.

I keep telling them to pay on their propriety bills like electric, heat, rent and credit cards but they keep ignore the debts. If they are mad at me, they are wrong irresponsible and probably criminal, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn’t wind up going to jail or being charged or having the children taken away from them all of those are possible. I could not let the children without heat. It is horrible situation as I did the right thing to call Dept Social Service and report 51A neglect with intake consultant. I just let go of it now... let the police and DSS handle it, the children endangerment, I can't leave a 15 year old and 3 year old, go away they can't... That is against the law to allow grandmother 70 years old and two young boys in the house dark and cold for almost three days.

I will have been preparing when the parents will come home from cruise next Monday, they will hate me... I do not take their personal, I am support their children's sake...

Kalista
Click to expand...
 
there are laws that child cannot be neglected unless someone is caring for them. Better to be safe with kids than risk them while in jails...
 
huggs Kalista...

I went through few things like that with friends.. its hard..
but think about what you did right thing thats all matters.. Kids will grow up and look up on you!.. they will thank you in future.. even will repay you with greater love.


hang in there..
 
You did the right thing and I am proud of you for who you are and believing that the children do come first before the cruise ship or any other vacation.

:hug: as for my so called friend she will polly lose all of her kids and that is so sad. Right now the house have no heat, eletric and other things. So there are 5 kids in the house right now. I am worry sick about them.

I am hoping that the DSS take the kids out of the house. The parent have been unfit for many year. Can you believe that geez. I dont believe it cuz the DSS let it go so long I dont understand that.
 
I would report them. If that is how they treat their children, then they arent worthy to have your friendship.
 
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