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Unread 04-19-2006, 11:09 AM   #1
Liebling:-)))
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Restraining order against legal age boyfriend for minor daughter

Restraining order against legal age boyfriend for minor daughter
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=554327

What do you think of this?

Would you do that to your own children like this?


Check many comments in this link.
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Unread 04-19-2006, 02:11 PM   #2
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I am watching about that on Dr. phil show on tv right now.
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Unread 04-19-2006, 02:35 PM   #3
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I don't agree with what the mother is doing by trying to get restraining order against legal age boyfriend just to keep him away from her daughter, I feel that it should be only if her boyfriend is verbally abusive or physical abuse her then yes I would agree on the restraining order but using it against something else that is less harmful, even we know that it's against the law for kids dating someone above their ages and a restraining order is not going to help her daugther stay away from her boyfriend and sure isn't going to solved the situation either, her daughter could run away from him anyways with or without the restraining order....

I personally think the mother should find other ways to deal with the problem rather than trying to get a restraining order, she has to be in control of the situation and try as much punishment as she can in order for her daughter to listen, sometimes when a parent lets their emotional effect the situation then it can cause a child to run away from home, and that the last thing a parent would want to see that happen, so got to start thinking what would be the best solution to the problem that this mother is facing...I would find many ways as I can to deal with this situation but getting a restraining order might just make things alot worse to the point where the daughter would do almost anything to go against her own mother....

Tough love is one way to handle this situation and being in control by remaining calm when approaching or talking to a teenager child who not yet experiences what it like to be a parent herself, but we have to find ways to teach our children what right and what wrong, and maybe they will listen and understand the differences and know where her mother is coming from on this....
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Unread 04-19-2006, 02:36 PM   #4
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I would yeah..... Note it says he's supercontrolling.....that's a warning sign of a not so good relationship.
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Unread 04-20-2006, 08:56 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deafdyke
I would yeah..... Note it says he's supercontrolling.....that's a warning sign of a not so good relationship.
I agree with deafdyke. If he is a controlling freak, there is no life for that girl!!! She is better off to get out of that kind of relationship where he is taking control.
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Unread 04-20-2006, 09:22 AM   #6
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I dont see any problem with mother who have requested a restraining order against the young man. All she have to do is to protect her daughter's valuable life...
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Unread 04-21-2006, 03:24 AM   #7
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Why not!

Even in same family apply RO too - eg a sister apply to against her own brother!
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Unread 04-21-2006, 09:43 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara
Why not!

Even in same family apply RO too - eg a sister apply to against her own brother!

Against her own brother?


Wow, seem some people taking this RO a bit too far...
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Unread 04-21-2006, 12:33 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
I don't agree with what the mother is doing by trying to get restraining order against legal age boyfriend just to keep him away from her daughter, I feel that it should be only if her boyfriend is verbally abusive or physical abuse her then yes I would agree on the restraining order but using it against something else that is less harmful, even we know that it's against the law for kids dating someone above their ages and a restraining order is not going to help her daugther stay away from her boyfriend and sure isn't going to solved the situation either, her daughter could run away from him anyways with or without the restraining order....

I personally think the mother should find other ways to deal with the problem rather than trying to get a restraining order, she has to be in control of the situation and try as much punishment as she can in order for her daughter to listen, sometimes when a parent lets their emotional effect the situation then it can cause a child to run away from home, and that the last thing a parent would want to see that happen, so got to start thinking what would be the best solution to the problem that this mother is facing...I would find many ways as I can to deal with this situation but getting a restraining order might just make things alot worse to the point where the daughter would do almost anything to go against her own mother....

Tough love is one way to handle this situation and being in control by remaining calm when approaching or talking to a teenager child who not yet experiences what it like to be a parent herself, but we have to find ways to teach our children what right and what wrong, and maybe they will listen and understand the differences and know where her mother is coming from on this....
yea, mother or father shouldnt teach their children be involved with either of parent not see/not love their father or mother, its between mother and father/gf/bf unless risk/dangerous something with abuse/DV
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Unread 04-21-2006, 12:41 PM   #10
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Iīm agree with Angel totally. Iīm the same opinion as Angel.

Get Restraining order against legal age boyfriend of minor daughter do not solve anything but worst. Daughter would lost her respect her mother more and more for that.
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:02 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))
Iīm agree with Angel totally. Iīm the same opinion as Angel.

Get Restraining order against legal age boyfriend of minor daughter do not solve anything but worst. Daughter would lost her respect her mother more and more for that.
So that means 16 years old daughter is gonna to be preg. Then she lost her bright future for higher education and career. Guess what? 18 years old mtker is gonna to escape and move out of state or country....

Think twice. I am sure that both of you and Angle do neither have your own biological daughter but I do. Yep, I would arrange RO as soon as I investiage his background...
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:12 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
So that means 16 years old daughter is gonna to be preg. Then she lost her bright future for higher education and career. Guess what? 18 years old mtker is gonna to escape and move out of state or country....

Think twice. I am sure that both of you and Angle do neither have your own biological daughter but I do. Yep, I would arrange RO as soon as I investiage his background...
This link explains better.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=25565


It will likely reduce teen. preggies if the parents talk sexual openly with their children. Thatīs why the teenagers go wrong crowd and experiment their curiously in wrong way because their parents did not positive something to them.

Thatīs why I allow my children to watch sex and sex responsible etc... (I doesnīt mean sex porn. but sexual responsblies). See this link...
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:18 PM   #13
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))
Iīm agree with Angel totally. Iīm the same opinion as Angel.

Get Restraining order against legal age boyfriend of minor daughter do not solve anything but worst. Daughter would lost her respect her mother more and more for that.

Thank you, someone finally sees where I'm coming from on this, it's nice to know I'm not alone ...

Liebling
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:25 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
So that means 16 years old daughter is gonna to be preg. Then she lost her bright future for higher education and career. Guess what? 18 years old mtker is gonna to escape and move out of state or country....

Think twice. I am sure that both of you and Angle do neither have your own biological daughter but I do. Yep, I would arrange RO as soon as I investiage his background...


I don't need to have a daugther to understand this, it can happen to some boys too not just only girls...


If you think that RO will actually solved all your problems? I would think again if I were you....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:48 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
I don't need to have a daugther to understand this, it can happen to some boys too not just only girls...


If you think that RO will actually solved all your problems? I would think again if I were you....
Oh really?

What if mother of Tracy wants to protect her daughter's life from Buck Thurman.

I strongly recommand you to watch new TNT movie. That's how he lost his daughter that he still never trusted that lad.

I wait for your reply....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 01:59 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
Oh really?

What if mother of Tracy wants to protect her daughter's life from Buck Thurman.

I strongly recommand you to watch new TNT movie. That's how he lost his daughter that he still never trusted that lad.

I wait for your reply....

First of all Tracy has a son CJ not a daughter...


Second, she filed a RO against her husband cause her husband physically abuse her and threaten to kill her , he hasn't harm the child at all, I would kindly suggest you to read that story of Tracy, or watch the movie then you will understand why she had a RO against her husband....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:02 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
First of all Tracy has a son CJ not a daughter...


Second, she filed a RO against her husband cause her husband physically abuse her and threaten to kill her , he hasn't harm the child at all, I would kindly suggest you to read that story of Tracy, or watch the movie then you will understand why she had a RO against her husband....
Read again my post again. I did not mention Tracy's son.

Quote:
What if mother of Tracy wants to protect her daughter's life from Buck Thurman.
I was speaking of Tracy's mother.....

I am not discussing about her actual events.

This is about what if....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:08 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
Read again my post again. I did not mention Tracy's son.



I was speaking of Tracy's mother.....

I am not discussing about her actual events.

This is about what if....
I will not answer that question above cause her mother died long before she met Buck, and second, Tracy knew exactly what she was doing cause her mother taught her never get herself in a relationship where a man will more likely abuse her, she follow her mother's advice


I honestly do not know where you're heading at, but from the looks at it, it seem you did not read my post carefully, I said for thoses who want to seek for a RO, is when there's an verbally abusive, physical abuse, or threaten to kill then yes but for a parents to get a RO just to keep her daughter away from her boyfriend will just make things worse and it will not help the situation at all whatsoever
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:12 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
I will not answer that question above cause her mother died long before she met Buck, and second, Tracy knew exactly what she was doing cause her mother taught her never get herself in a relationship where a man will more likely abuse her, she follow her mother's advice


I honestly do not know where you're heading at, but from the looks at it, it seem you did not read my post carefully, I said for thoses who want to seek for a RO, is when there's an verbally abusive, physical abuse, or threaten to kill involved then yes but for a parents to get a RO just to keep her daughter away from her boyfriend will just make things worse and it will not help the situation at all whatsoever
That means you are not too sure about young lady's life. If you were a judge in the courtroom, would you grant mother's request for RO against a young adult? Would you accept the fate if she is in your hands?
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:16 PM   #20
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I'm sorry but I won't discuss this issue with you any farther, I have my own view on how I see this as well as you do too, we don't have to agree, but can we at least respect each others views and leave it to that?..
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:29 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by ^Angel^
I'm sorry but I won't discuss this issue with you any farther, I have my own view on how I see this as well as you do too, we don't have to agree, but can we at least respect each others views and leave it to that?..
I thought so....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:53 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))
This link explains better.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=25565


It will likely reduce teen. preggies if the parents talk sexual openly with their children. Thatīs why the teenagers go wrong crowd and experiment their curiously in wrong way because their parents did not positive something to them.

Thatīs why I allow my children to watch sex and sex responsible etc... (I doesnīt mean sex porn. but sexual responsblies). See this link...
One down one to go....

Liebling, this has nothing to do with 100% sexual discussion.

Hmm, let me approach an alternative for your thread. (Angel, I am not going to apologize for the sake of my daughter in future. Get your head out of the sand, Ostrich).

I am sure that many fathers especially mothers of daughters would agree about getting RO against the young lad as a rotten apple from the shiny apple barrel. As I said in my early post, I would investigate any gentleman’s background before approval for the date.

I am sure that my daughter would obtain some sexual info before starting to date with a lad.

If the gentleman is not good person, he as a devil boy brainwash my daughter that he is so innocent. He butters up her to believe him against her father’s wishs.

The best solution is to recieve a RO against him.

Liebling, what is your final result?
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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:57 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
One down one to go....

You know something Mookie, sometimes I just wish you would be a bit more kind


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Unread 04-21-2006, 02:59 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by ^Angel^
You know something Mookie, sometimes I just wish you would be a bit more kind


I can't help it. I only concern of my daughter's life....

No hard feeling....
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Unread 04-21-2006, 03:03 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
I can't help it. I only concern of my daughter's life....

No hard feeling....

I understand Mookie, but do whatever you feel is right as a father, I don't expect you to listen or follow my own view here, but it would be nice if you had approach this in a different way, then maybe I would have understood and help you there....


But this story isn't about your daughter that Liebling posted, so I respond to what she posted in this thread, not about your daugther since I don't know much about your situation with her, so I can't speak for that
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Unread 04-27-2006, 11:13 AM   #26
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Quote:
Liebling, what is your final result?
[/QUOTE]

Here is my answer to your question.

[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
One down one to go....

Liebling, this has nothing to do with 100% sexual discussion.
I only provided the link about sexual discussion because you brought this subject in your early post.

Quote:
Mookieīs post
So that means 16 years old daughter is gonna to be preg. Then she lost her bright future for higher education and career. Guess what? 18 years old mtker is gonna to escape and move out of state or country....
Quote:
I am sure that many fathers especially mothers of daughters would agree about getting RO against the young lad as a rotten apple from the shiny apple barrel. As I said in my early post, I would investigate any gentleman’s background before approval for the date.

I am sure that my daughter would obtain some sexual info before starting to date with a lad.

If the gentleman is not good person, he as a devil boy brainwash my daughter that he is so innocent. He butters up her to believe him against her father’s wishs.
Most fathers (I would say mothers as well) overreacted, overprotected and overparented daughters than sons. It lead phobia disorder/paraniod personiality disorder if the children are being overprotected and reject by their parents a lot. Itīs no good.

Worst is when they learn that their daughters have boyfriends. Yes I know the parents tried their best but it could be annoy for the children because the parents give their children feeling that they have no trust toward them. Itīs bad that thereīre no trust bond relationship between them.


Quote:
The best solution is to recieve a RO against him.
It doesnīt solve anything but worst. Your daughter will disrespect/rebel against you.
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Unread 04-27-2006, 11:15 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookie
Oh really?

What if mother of Tracy wants to protect her daughter's life from Buck Thurman.

I strongly recommand you to watch new TNT movie. That's how he lost his daughter that he still never trusted that lad.

I wait for your reply....

Remember Tracy was not minor thatīs time she met Buck.
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Unread 04-27-2006, 11:37 AM   #28
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I agree with the mother, my reasons are simple, The mother is legally responsible for her until she is 18, The boyfriend is 18, She is 16 and still a minor. She also stated that her daughter already brought plane ticket to fly with her boyfriend who is 18, I wouldn't like that idea not one bit. She also stated that her daughter's boyfriend wouldn't even allowing her to have friends, That sounds controlling to me, I wouldn't trust him with her, because there a possibility that it would lead to verbally abusive and then led to physical abuse. Would I wanna live with that? No way! I would done the same thing that mother is doing to her daughter get restraining orders. What the mother is doing is the right thing, she is only looking out for her daughter's welfare, and protecting her from possibly of harm.


I apology but I disagree with Liebling and Angel and who ever disagree with the mother.
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Unread 04-27-2006, 03:00 PM   #29
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri
my reasons are simple, The mother is legally responsible for her until she is 18,
Sure

Quote:
The boyfriend is 18, She is 16 and still a minor.
Iīm agree with motherīs post. 2 years difference is not too huge.
Quote:
motherīs post
I will repeat that their age difference is not an issue with me; he is 19 and she is almost 17, that's not so huge a difference
.
Quote:
She also stated that her daughter already brought plane ticket to fly with her boyfriend who is 18, I wouldn't like that idea not one bit.
Where have she say ? because I didnīt find it.

All what she stated is:


Quote:
motherīs post
She is with him every waking minute and is refusing to go on a four day trip to visit her grandmother whom she'd agreed to go see, the plane ticket is already bought, but he doesn't want her to go, and she asked what I would do if she refused to go and I said I'd look into restraining orders.
That's why I posted the question
.
Quote:
motherīs post
I was inquiring about restraining orders because my daughter was refusing to obey me by going on a 4 day trip to visit her grandmother that she had agreed to, and then was trying to back out on at the last minute, after her
grandmother had already bought the plane ticket, taken off from work,
and made plans for the visit. My daughter would not accept the fact
that she was being very rude to consider cancelling at the last
minute, just because she and her boyfriend didn't want to be apart
for 4 short days
.
The reason is I disagree with mother because itīs blackmail and threat what she did to her daughter.

She should sit patience and have a good talk with her daughter instead of get RO to keep away from her boyfriend because she donīt like her daugher listen her boyfriend for not want her to go away for 4 days trip to see her Grandma
.

Quote:
She also stated that her daughter's boyfriend wouldn't even allowing her to have friends, That sounds controlling to me, I wouldn't trust him with her, because there a possibility that it would lead to verbally abusive and then led to physical abuse. Would I wanna live with that? No way! I would done the same thing that mother is doing to her daughter get restraining orders. What the mother is doing is the right thing, she is only looking out for her daughter's welfare, and protecting her from possibly of harm.
How do mother know that her daughterīs boyfriend control her? Itīs HER who control her daughter and suspect something wrong about her daughter, not daughterīs boyfriend.

See what her daughter stated:

Quote:
daughterīs post
ok, ok, I am 16 and my bf is 18. We have been dating for over a year
and I love him to death. My family members dont like him very much,
but that doesnt change the way I feel about him. Some people see him,
also, as controlling but that is their perspective, not mine. I see
him in a completely different way, as the person I love and always
will love. We are planning to move in together at some point or
another.

Age shouldnt be a factor in this, maybe if it was like 4 years or
something, but 2 is hardly anything to worry about considering guys
are mentally an average of 3 years more immature than their age. If
someone tried to tell me to break up with him I would tell them to
**** off pretty much and let me make my own choices, dont be a
controlling mother. If he hits her or abuses her in any other way then
you can step in, but dont try to put a restraining order on him
because YOU dont like him, hes not your bf.. is he
?

Quote:
I apology but I disagree with Liebling and Angel and who ever disagree with the mother.
awww No problem to have you to disagree with me...
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Unread 04-27-2006, 03:10 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri
I agree with the mother, my reasons are simple, The mother is legally responsible for her until she is 18, The boyfriend is 18, She is 16 and still a minor. She also stated that her daughter already brought plane ticket to fly with her boyfriend who is 18, I wouldn't like that idea not one bit. She also stated that her daughter's boyfriend wouldn't even allowing her to have friends, That sounds controlling to me, I wouldn't trust him with her, because there a possibility that it would lead to verbally abusive and then led to physical abuse. Would I wanna live with that? No way! I would done the same thing that mother is doing to her daughter get restraining orders. What the mother is doing is the right thing, she is only looking out for her daughter's welfare, and protecting her from possibly of harm.


I apology but I disagree with Liebling and Angel and who ever disagree with the mother.
Finally, about time that somebody truly asserted...
Thanks, Cheri.

Liebling, you are completely wrong. Every parent is responsible for every child since he/she is still under legal age. Liebling, did you follow your parents’ rules, or were you a rebellious daughter who could come home late at 3AM?
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