I was born deaf so I've known no other way of life, so I always say "you can't miss what you never had." But when something changes, YES, there absolutely is a process one goes through when that happens. Take my husband. He's a combat veteran with severe TBI, he misses what life was was like before that. Hoichi I have often sided with you but you really missed the mark here when saying there is no grieving needed. Take a break and get a little more real, and show empathy.
I never stated there was no greiving needed,though i wouldnt use that term....
I wouldnt recomend anyone greive over becoming deaf, in my eyes it comes down to empowerment...deafness under the medical model and paradigm is disempowering..it focuses on your loss, a negative, compares you with others, who posses something you lack, pegs you as disordered. Abnornal, so on, in need of medical treatment, a cure for your affliction.
Ive just never seen much positive in that apporach..perticularly if the individual already suffers under other medical, emotional, and mental issues.
Im actually showing empathy by not wishing to enable someone to further be disempowered by pychobabale, balony..
Instead in regards to being deaf, one can and in my eyes should overcome that curse, of deafness as a loss, a negative, a lacking, an afffliction, and embrace it via sign to the gift of being Deaf...
If the only issue is that then thats my recomendatiin...if other issues are present, manic depression so on, then obviously the individual needs medical treatment, medications, monitoring, so on..
But deaf dont need more white coated docs, deaf dont need more medical professionals, itching to drill holes.in their hesds for.profit, deaf dont need that...truly they need other Deaf...thats the unsigned secret here...hidden in plain sight,
As for me..when i become Deaf, i was branded all sorts of things, from doctors,,,,teachers. Counsilors, You name it...all of them did their best to keep me from other Deaf..god forbid, it was only my mothers spirit and insistance.she literally removed me from Hearie school, as they had me with mentally challanged kids.with helmets on,even though all that happend.with me was i became Deaf, like i had some comunicable disease they seperated me, from others and put me with these kids who just hit their heads against the wall and drulled all damn day...medical professionals, teachers, counsilors the very ones who had all the degrees on the wall, stating how clever they were, those in power did that, so excuse my mistrust, intead my mother removed me drove me hours away to the Deafie school where i belonged...if she would of took their word for it, her son became stupid,and thus needed to be with the others in the mentally challanged class, even though i clearly was many things...dumb and stupid i was not...
And thus thats how i was intruduced to others like me...other Deaf...it was against the professionals advice,,,not because of it...
So thats one place im comming from...for what its worth...and i understand everyones experiences are different, but if the above sheds any light on my angst, or lack of empathy,...thats all i could ask for
We really just need others like us in our life, so we can communicate in our natural languge with others like us...thats all we need...
Really..
In the end, i stand by it...
